Antiope
It’s been days since that encounter in the lake and things have been weird. I am angry and freaking confused. He had no right to do what he did, to kiss me like that, to look at me with those eyes of his so deeply and lure me in. He has no right to treat the situation we are in as a normal one, as if I am not here because he holds my sister in silver chains all this time.
And yet, I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. I can’t stop reliving it and dreaming about it. And in my dreams, I don’t stop, I am not ready to slap him, I don’t run away from him. In my dreams, I come closer, I kiss deeper, I claim more. And, goddess, does he give me more. Enough to wake me up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, with shaking knees and an abysmal, hot need between my legs. Cold showers have been the norm these last days. Thankfully, all that talk about sleeping with me remained just talk.
“I will be leaving in the morning,” Magnus says over his plate. “Before sunrise.”
I don’t look at him but his presence is dominating the kitchen, the room, my whole fucking world right now. Though I told him that our deals are off, I still meet him for breakfast and dinner. He pretends that nothing happened between us, he never apologized, he never mentioned it and he never made another attempt to repeat it. Max is whining every single moment for that last part and longs for a connection with him.
Instead, every time we meet he hands me documents to review and talk about. I am flattered that he considers me his equal but I hate that he changes the subject each time I ask about Celia.
“Good,” I am honest.
“You are still not coming with me.”
“I am still not coming with you.”
“Very well,” he frowns. “Have you looked at the correspondence I gave you this morning?”
“I did but only because I hate TV and because there are no books in English around here.”
“You could have gone for a run.”
“And suffer having Thane around? No, thanks. Anyway, though reminding you I am not your secretary, I read the reports.”
“You are not my secretary, Antiope,” he growls. “You are my Luna.”
“I am your captive to do as you wish with but these things seem to escape your notice,” I raise a brow and he swallows hard. “Technicalities aside, the agreement seems legit to me and is to the benefit of the pack. My proposition is for you to sign it.”
“OK, I will next thing tomorrow before I go.”
My jaw drops. The letters he handed me were unopened. I was the first to read them and he is agreeing to my opinion just like that? I had to jump through hoops to get Dad to even listen to me on pack issues.
“Are you done?” Magnus wipes his lips on his napkin.
I nod and get up to gather our plates. As is our usual ritual, I wash the dishes and he dries them before putting them back. When we are done, he usually bids his good night and leaves. Not tonight. Tonight, he is blocking the exit to my room and has his hands in his pockets awkwardly.
“What?” I say frustrated.
He says nothing, just comes and takes me in his arms. I gasp out of pure shock as he wraps his arms around my waist, his face buried in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent.
“Ulfisson?”
“Mm?”
“What are you doing?”
“Just... let me be like this with you for just a minute. Please.”
Something in his voice makes me crumble inside and I am this close to crumbling myself, my knees shaking and my head going light. The way he practically begged for this instead of taking it, is making me weak. I don’t know what to do.
“I got this,” Max intervenes and takes advantage of my weak state.
My arms tighten around his neck and I pull closer to him. I push my face to his strong chest and I take in his potent smell. For these moments, I too want to stay like this for a while. Or forever.
“Promise me you’ll be safe, Antiope,” he breathes into my neck and raises goosebumps.
“I will be safe,” I almost whisper and I try to pull away.
His grip tightens and he pulls me even closer to him. Not even air can get between us. His body is hot, hard but soft at the same time. And his heartbeat on mine is pounding loudly.
“Just a little while longer,” he pleads.
So we stay like this, in the kitchen, embraced as if we truly were mates, caught in a strange limbo where reality is irrelevant and pure feeling is the ruler. I feel good in his arms, protected, cherished, wanted. If only...
That thought bursts the bubble around us and he catches the shift in my disposition. Reluctantly he lets go of me and steps away to let me exit the kitchen. He leans against the counter, messes with his hair in nervous moves and seems deep in thought.
“Uh...” I don’t know what to say. “Goodnight and have a safe trip tomorrow.”
***
I hear him move in his room for a while and then I hear his door open. I was up the moment he was but I’ll be damned if I am to go out and greet him like a good housewife. There are footsteps on the corridor but they don’t go down the stairs. He is coming this way!
He is outside my door and he stops. I can see the shadow of his feet at the opening and I hold my breath. Then the door creaks as if a weight was pushed against it and then nothing. The footsteps go away, down the stairs and then the door opens and silence falls in the house. That’s when I breathe.
I have a shower – still a cold one – and I go downstairs to prepare my own breakfast. And while I do, something stings. I would never admit it out loud but it’s his presence, his company, the way he moved in the kitchen, the way he cooked in those sweatpants, giving me a full view of his defined back. I must be going insane.
“Of course you are. He is gone,” Max mourns.
I eat and I decide to walk around a bit and occupy my mind. The moment I get out of the house, Thane is there and nods at me.
“Egil has asked for you in his office.”
I shake my head and I go up the stairs to the Beta’s office. His is a cluttered, messy one, still open-spaced and minimalistic but he seems to lack that Scandinavian fixation on order. How he manages to work in here is beyond me.
“Good morning, Luna,” he gives me a mocking bow.
“Spare me the bullshit,” I wave my hand. “What do you want?”
“Nothing much. Magnus left you in charge and I want to give you the keys to his office. I have left a few urgent matters for you to review and around 1 at noon the Council is coming in for a briefing.”
I stare and blink for a few seconds while Egil smiles one of those taunting smiles of his that will one day earn him a black eye from me.
“What?” I ask like an idiot.
“Is it the keys part that got you confused? Magnus locks his office all the time in case...”
“What do you mean he left me in charge?”
“And here I was thinking my English is good,” Egil says.
“Don’t fuck around with me, Egil!”
The Beta sighs and comes to me, having shed that smile of his. He looks at me, searching my eyes and licking his lips in thought.
“You are the Luna, Antiope. I know... It’s not what you wanted, not like this anyway but... But you are our Luna, the other half to our head. Magnus said to follow your orders and the whole pack will. You see, Magnus is not...”
“No,” I cut him. “He is your Alpha and you honor him, I get that. But if you know what's going on between us, you also know I will not sit around to hear you make excuses for him.”
“You are angry at him, I understand that. But the rest of the pack depends on you while he is gone.”
“You are perfectly capable of doing it alone.”
“I should be last to admit that, but you are a far better Beta than I am. And a damn fine Luna.”
Thousands of miles away from home, brought here by force, surrounded by people I don’t know and that they don’t know me my whole life and I finally hear what my heart longed for. That I am a good Beta. Even more than that.
“Don’t do it for him,” Egil takes out a set of keys. Do it for the rest of the pack that needs you.”
I look over his shoulder for a while and then I take the keys out of his hand.