Nearly two years of friendship with Zain Amir gave the happiness Amaya Kareem never asked for. All her pain feels like eons ago. Now she is here in Dubai, Dehra is past.
Life took some uncertain turns, and now as she sits by the balcony door with the sky pouring outside, she is lost in her thoughts. In the background, the old gramophone plays,
She hums along, feeling the lines, drowned in a memory, long gone, long faded.
"You still love him?"
Not much away from her, there stands a man with amber eyes, clad in his signature turtle neck sweater pair with faded blue jeans, messy hairs and a known cologne.
Holding two cups of masala chai, he sits next to her, not too far, not too near.
Leaning by the wall, he passes her a cup, and looks at her. Feeling those amber pairs, she smiles, she shifts a little, a little near towards him.
Taking a sip, she turns towards him, not completely though, nodding her head in approval.
"It's getting better you know"
"The chai?"
"Yes, the chai"
"Well, I'm learning from the best you can say. And slowly I will be there, as best as you are in it."
"So, will I, Zain. One day."
He gives her a questioning look. She laughed, "Everything is all about learning, as you are learning to make the perfect masala chai, I'm learning to let go of the past too. And it's getting better too.
And one day I will be there, as good as you."
"So, you still love him?"
"Maybe, or, maybe not?
I don't know I still love him or not. What I know is I am not in love with him. That part is gone, long forgotten too."
"Are you scared to fall again, Amu?"
"I'm scared to get broken again. I'm scared that maybe I am still looking for his bits and pieces in someone, maybe or maybe not."
"Aren't we all do that Amu?" This time she passes her a questioning look.
".... Aren't we always look for pieces of someone in someone else? Maybe that person is gone, maybe his memories faded, but there are bits and pieces that will always left."
"And I don't even want his remaining in my life too."
"So, what if you fall for someone?"
"Someone?"
"As in me?"
It makes her laugh out loud.
An unsettle reaction fills Zain Amir's face, a known fear, a fear of another rejection.
"Well Zain Amir you are too good to be true."
"That's not an answer Amu."
"Your question is not valid Zainu"
"And why so?"
"Love ruins many things Zain, we lost many things because of love. And I don't want to lose you Zain.
Moreover, you deserve better than, better than me. But that's something we will talk about some day."
"...And what if I lose you one day, do you think I will find you, again?"
"Maybe, or maybe not."
This time Zain gives her an irritated look, giving her a nudge so that she opens her hazel brown orbs.
"If you lose me then there will be a reason, and I don't think I want to be found if I left once.
But because it's you there is high chance that you will find me. Perhaps I'm just not sure if I would want to be found or not."
"...I don't afford that, you know. To lose you."
She looks at him. Zain Amir doesn't afford to lose Amaya Kareem.
A long-gone memory comes up again, but this time it's different.
Way too different.
"So do I." She whispers.
"You are my home."
He says slowly but firmly, letting her know this.
Leaning her back towards him as he engulfs her in a hug from back, she whispers, "...we are good like this."
Kissing her hairs, he sighs, "...we are, but can be better too."
She smiles closing her eyes again, humming her song.
Minutes passed, hours passed, the two cups of tea turns to cross the count of ten now, but they sits there in the same way, sometimes in silence, sometimes in lame jokes, in each others embrace they have found home, they found love.
A home they are looking for always but not this time.
As the night falls, a ringtone from Zain's phone makes them move apart, Amaya tries to walk away, but he is not gonna to let her do that.
He holds her wrist,
not too tight,
not too loose.
I am not gonna lose you, an unsaid promise lingers in those amber orbs.
Looking at the screen, he smiles.
"Hello..."
"Well, I'm standing outside for quite some time now, care to open the door my son."
Without wasting another minute Zain opens the brown door, still holding Amu' wrist with his other hand.
On the other side of the corridor stands a man nearly at his early fifties, as Amaya concludes.
This man is not unknown to her, Mirza Amir. As they step towards him, he engulfs Zain in a hug.
"I missed you son"
"I missed you too Baba."
"Not much, I can say."
He says in a teasing tone, pointing towards their intertwined hands.
Taking Amaya in a fatherly hug, he gives her blessing.
On the other hand, she is quite shock, never in her twenty-five summers of life, she had found a father figure close to her, and here she is engulfed in a hug.
"You must me Amaya?"
"Hello Uncle."
"It's Baba to you my child."
Gulping her lump that's formed in throat, she somehow controls her tears.
"Baba..."
"Aren't you being family already Amaya? You gave my son a home away from home. I am your Baba too. And if this man teases you anymore, make sure to beat him from my side too. But for now, can someone let me in please?"
"Yes Baba. please." As Zain take Mirza inside his penthouse, Amaya stays back, letting her tears fall.
Zain Amir had given her yet another thing, she is not asking for.