“Why are you here?”
He did not answer my question and just give me a smile. With him holding a white flower on his hand, I was surprised when he took away a dried flower with the same type as what he just put down.
“Its been a long time since I last saw you” he started.
What is he up to? I… I don’t understand.
The last time I saw him, I was about to take my own life. He was, full of fright back then… I saw it.
I feel guilty…
“How are you doing?”
Even with him talking to me, I can’t really find the courage to answer him back. All I know is that, I hate what I am feeling right now. I really… hate this…
“Are you eating well?”
He stood up and look at me. But that look is something he never had before.
His eyes, it was full of pain. I can see it. I can feel it in the way he talk. I can tell it by the way his eyes speaks to me…
“Is he treating you well?”
And somehow, I can’t help but agree on what my mind speaks of. That the pain he is in now, I was part of the reason why he feels that way.
“I hate you…” I started as a tear then falls on my eyes. It made him surprised for a bit as I saw how he stumble for a bit.
“I want to be mad at you but I just can’t. I want to blame you yet I know you have reason. I know I was part of it…”
Clenching my fist, tears started to fall with no stop. Maybe it is because I gather it up inside be by myself all this time. Maybe now I really reach my limit and finally… finally burst.
This pain, this feelings, I know I can’t contain it forever.
“But no matter what the reason was, I can never go back Brylle. I don’t despise you… something even I am surprised about. You are kind to me, you loved me… you had a place in my heart and it won’t be removed so easily”
Looking at me, he keeps on listening in my words. As if it was something he has been waiting for in such a long time.
“But even if you apologize” shaking my head, a bitter smile can be seen on my faces.
“I am sorry but I could never forgive you”
“Slap me”
Brylle mumbled. Enough to make me stop my tears.
“Slap me… punch me… hit me. Do whatever you want. I…”
With my hand moving on my own, as my tears makes a trail to my chin… my hand sway and hit his face.
Slapping him with the hardest I can give, he did not move. He just let me do so. Even with both my fist hitting him for many times I can’t even count, he stood still.
“Why… why do you have to do that?”
I no longer know if something is wrong with my eyes. It was so blurry… I can’t even look at him properly.
“Why do you have to do that?? why….”
Sitting down on the ground as I bend both of my knees, my hands covers my face.
I feel so pathetic.
“You don’t have to do those things… B- brylle. Y- you don’t have to go that far… I am not gonna leave that time. I – I just… want to learn the truth. I want to help you… I- i… did I do the wrong thing?”
Gulping, I can’t catch my breathe.
Indeed, I also blame my self for what happened. It was my fault. But it was also his fault. We are all at fault actually. But to think that that much lives would be the result of those actions…
“Do you know how… hard it is to lose someone you hold so dear? I lose my grandmother, right in front of my eyes. I have no money to give what she needs… that damn sickness killed her. I can do nothing at all… and since that time, I cursed such illness that took lives of people”
I wipe my tears but there is no stop. No matter what I do, they just keeps on falling.
“And to think you would also do that… for what reason? I would be glad if they are bad people but, those people in the mansion that lose their lives… they just want to work. For there family, for their dream… they did no wrong….”
Flashing on my mind, I can’t remove that scene. That very image of burning flames and dead bodies.
It will always be a nightmare I can never forget.
“And Lilith… she doesn’t deserve that…. she… she is so kind…”
“I am wrong. And I realized it so late. No matter how much I apologize, I can never atone for my sin… my hands… it’s already so dirty no matter what kind of soap I use. All the blood that it faced… it is a stain I can never wash away”
I dare not look at him. because I know, if I did so, I will just pity him. It isn’t something that I should feel. But it was something I can’t help but feel.
“It makes me wonder… I we met not the way we did, if… I am just a simple person, a normal guy, will it make difference?”
Turning his back, I saw his feet took a step away from me.
“Lea, it may be a curse for you to be loved by someone like me but… those times we shared together… I may not deserve it but it will always be something I would cherish forever”
Those times that we had, those memories that we shared…
It was like a sweet dream that had come to an end…
“I wish for your happiness, Lea. Even if… I am not by your side…”
Seeing him walk away, something in my heart feels empty. As if I lose something important.
Indeed, he is someone that is irreplaceable to me.
Brylle… I also hope for your happiness. I really do…
…
“Yes Sam. I will surely enjoy this”
Soon as Sylphia put down her phone, her brother then asked her with a frowning face.
“Isn’t that Sam, that Samantha friend of Brylle?”
“How did you know?”
Rolling his eyes, he let out a big sigh.
“You know, father and you makes me worried for many reasons. But to think you would know someone related to that Brylle”
Shaking her head, Sylphia smiled. A smile that Elton hates so much. Because he knew that the smile she gave was calculated. Not the same smile she had whenever she is with Luther.
“Keep your friend close and your enemy’s friend closer. Don’t you know that?”
“Why are you making friends with an enemy?”
“She is not an enemy, she may be an enemy’s friend but… that doesn’t mean she is a foe”
Shaking his head, Elton just stood up and was about to leave.
“Yeah yeah whatever. Just, do what you want”
“I am always doing what I want though”
A small smile escaped his lips.
“Sure you do”