It's now a month of being here in LA. I had lost weight, juggling working at night and being a mom during the day. I usually sleep two hours a day, sometimes less, and cannot eat proper food.
It was not easy. Sometimes I would cry when Kai was asleep because I was tired and scared. I would silently cry until I fell asleep. There are days that I really do not have the energy to work, but I have to push myself for Kai. I am all he has. I cannot afford to be lazy and get sick.
I was lucky that almost every day, I received tips from the customers. The lowest is $50, which is very good. It is almost near the amount I make in a day. And I am so grateful for that; not everyone gets a chance like that. Some are just living with whatever their hourly rate is.
Two days before the month ended, I saved enough money to pay for the rent. I wanted us to leave the motel and find a better place. I rented a one-bedroom apartment in the same building where my babysitter lives. It's furnished, which was good, so I didn't have to buy the needed appliances. After paying all the bills and buying some groceries, I just had $150 left in my pocket.
I would leave the apartment 40 minutes before my shift so I could walk. It's still manageable because it's not that far. And if I have the budget for the subway, it's just one station away from the diner. But I am saving every penny I have. I even cried and prayed to get tips every day so, I need to be this stingy to survive.
The first week, God listened to my prayers. I received almost $85 a day as a tip. I was so happy I already had money to pay for the rent and the babysitter. And I continued to pray, hoping that God would always hear my prayers. I have to save the following cash for our groceries, water, electricity, and telephone bill. And if ever there is something extra maybe some toys and clothes for my little one.
I have also checked some lawyers who could help with my situation, but I could not afford their fees. And I wondered, would I be going home after six months? I hope not. I don't feel like going home. I don't want to break my family's heart, and I don't want to see Acwell there again. So, I promised myself I would not stop looking for someone who could help me.
Sometimes I would think of Acwell. I would get hurt and upset that he made me feel that he did not even care. It's been a month, and he stopped calling and sending messages after a week of us staying here. I guess it was just easy for him, but it was too painful for me.
One day, I was about to end my shift, and Ed called me.
"Yes, Ed. Good morning, by the way," I said.
"Good morning, Kamiah! You have been working hard, and since the diner's business seemed to increase, I will increase your salary by $4 per hour," Ed said with a smile.
"Really, Ed? Thank you so much! The $4 means a lot to me."
"If the diner is earning more, then I could have increased more than that, and if you have the papers, then I would suggest you go and look for high-paying jobs. But this is the best that I could do to help you."
"Hiring me when I thought no one will is already a big help to me, Ed. And now this increment, I can't thank you enough."
"Do me a favor and please eat properly and stop walking. Get a subway ticket. Don't overwork yourself. Kai needs you if you get sick; what will happen to him."
I only nodded because I almost wanted to cry. Ed was like an understanding dad who takes care of his kids.
"Now, it's 07:30 AM. Get yourself out of here and go to your son."
"I will see you tomorrow, Ed. Thank you and goodbye!"
"Goodbye, Kamiah! Kiss Kai for me."
"I will!"
For the first, I went to the subway station and bought a ticket. And not even five minutes I reached home. Kai was already awake and watching TV.
I cooked his bolognese pasta. I am happy today, so this will be our simple celebration.
"Do you know what, buddy?" I said.
Kai only smiled and said, "Momma! Momma!"
"Yes, mommy got an increased today. And because of that, we will eat your favorite. Yay!"
Kai laughed. It's all I need to keep me going, my son's smile. It makes me feel I have a sense of purpose, and whatever hardship I am going through, it is all worth it.
We played, we sang nursery rhymes, and we watched cartoons. By 03:00 PM, Kai fell asleep. And so did I.
By 05:00 PM, I suddenly woke up. I thought Kai was awake, but he was still sound asleep. I got used to him waking up so that my body doesn't need to hear him cry. But since he was still sleeping, I went back to sleep.
Kai cried by around 08:00 PM. He woke up late today, which is good for me because I got longer hours of sleep. But I don't like him to be awake at night. I hope he goes to sleep by 10:00 PM.
We were just waiting for Selene to come when Kai grabbed my phone and said, "Daddy! Daddy!" He was smiling, and it broke my heart.
"Do you miss, daddy?" I asked.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Kai repeated.
"Sorry, daddy cannot be here. Maybe one day you will see him, okay?"
I kissed him on the forehead, and he smiled at me. Then, his babysitter knocked on the door. And it's time for me to head to work. I went to worked asking myself if I was wrong about separating Kai from his father. Now, he is missing him, and I could not do anything about it.