So, this is how my life is since I found out I was pregnant and until now. But this past few weeks, I have been crying. I have been questioning my worth and whether I have made the right decision of marrying the man I love.
Acwell almost hurt me this morning. I will definitely be hit for God knows what he had thrown if not for the door. I am not battered, but wondering if I will be if he continues to be like this.
I arrived at the locker of the hotel. I went to the toilet and cried because I could not hold myself. Acwell has never hurt me physically, and it pains her that this is what drinking had led him to be.
"What happened to you?” she whispered.
Then, I pulled myself together and dried my tears. I went out of the toilet and reapply some makeup to cover the trace of crying. And walk out of the hall with a fake smile.
I don’t know how but I was able to work despite the way I am feeling. It is challenging to work in an industry where you have to keep smiling despite hurting.
I went home and find Kai on his walker. I gave thanks to his babysitter and was told that Acwell left. In my head, I said, “Again, he left!”
I changed my clothes while I let Kai watched cartoons. I check my phone, and there was no message from Acwell, but there was a message request on Facebook. I did not really have time for it, so I just went to prepare dinner.
Until 09:00 PM, Acwell was still not home. So, after eating, I just kept the food I left for him on the fridge. He will come home drunk again. I decided I won’t wait for him this time. I will go to sleep even if I am off tomorrow. I lost my energy to argue with him. I'm tired of keep on doing that.
Acwell came home around midnight to find Kamiah and Kai already sleeping. He looked at them, and he feels ashamed. Earlier this morning, Acwell had thrown a glass out of his anger. If the door was not locked, he could have hit Kamiah.
He could not understand what had gotten into him. He was not like that before, but his anger towards himself and Kamiah’s less understanding made him blow up. But it was not a reason to excuse his behavior. It was still his fault, and he had realized that when Kamiah left.
Acwell could not sleep after Kamiah left. He was worried that things might not be fixed. It had been weeks now that he had to keep visiting Amara and ends up coming home drunk. But he still can’t confess to Kamiah what is happening so that she can understand.
It took him 2 hours of tossing and turning on the bed before he could finally sleep. But was awakened by Catrina's call around 03:00 PM. He did not answer and he tried to go back to sleep. But her call is non-stop, so he was forced to answer it.
“Hello,” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Acwell, Amara is sick,” Catrina said while sobbing.
“What happened to her?”
“She keeps vomiting.”
“What are you waiting for? Why did you not take her to the hospital?”
“Can you please come because I am in a panic and I can’t think well?”
“Okay,”
Acwell rushed to take a shower. His daughter is sick and it makes him panic, too. Then, he told the babysitter that he will leave for something urgent. He asked her to take good care of his son because he was worried of him getting sick, too.
Catrina was holding Amara when she opened the door for Acwell. Amara has puffy eyes which means she had been crying but she looks like about to sleep.
“What happened to her? Why she keeps vomiting?” Acwell asked.
“She woke up with a fever, and after two hours, she started vomiting. I don’t know why she was vomiting, but she did not eat something that she was not used to eating,” Catrina said, still in tears.
“How is she now?”
“She doesn’t have a fever anymore and stopped vomiting, too. But she is fussy and she vomited three times earlier today.”
“Why did you not take her to the hospital right away?”
“I don’t know. I was just in panic. It is the first time I am with Amara alone. I feel like I don’t know what to do.”
“Had she taken ay medicine?”
“My mom said to give her Paracetamol for kids to ease her fever.”
“Did it work?”
“I think so. I just could not put Amara down because she cries every time I do.”
After 30 minutes, Catrina was able to put Amara down on the bed to sleep. The medicine must have kicked in and made her feel sleepy. They observed her condition and decided that they will rush her to the hospital if she vomits again.
Acwell advised Catrina to start packing some clothes to take to the hospital, so it’s ready in case. He left them to buy some groceries but told Catrina to call him in case Amara gets worse.
As soon as Acwell went back, Amara woke up, and her temperature is high and she started vomiting again. So, Acwell and Catrina rushed her to the hospital.
It was a good thing that they were attended right away. The doctor advised admitting Amara to the hospital to know the cause of her sickness and prevent her from being dehydrated.
By around 08:30 PM, Amara was stable and was given medication. Acwell wanted to go home because he wanted to make amends with Kamiah, but Catrina begged for him to stay a little longer. Because of his daughter's condition, he did. He left when it was near midnight and Catrina was a little reassured that Amira is recovering.
Now, his wife had not waited for him. She must have gotten fed up with always has to wait and understand. He wanted to say sorry but he doesn't want to wake her up. So, he changed clothes and just crawled to bed to sleep.