THADDEUS followed Tamara with his gaze as she walked around the kitchen to prepare their breakfast. He offered to help her with the cooking, but the woman refused and told him to just sit and wait for their food to serve.
“Aren’t you going to work today?” he asked while watching her cooked sunny-side-up egg on a small pan. “I thought you’ll be busy today?”
“I am,” she said and glanced over her shoulder to look at him. “But I’m good at time management,” she laughed and winked at him. “I can make time for you, Thaddeus.”
Thaddeus almost caught his chest. What’s with Tamara? He asked himself as he kept his eyes on her. “I can do all of that. You should have let me do the cooking. You’re the one who’s employed here.”
“It’s fine. This is what I always do when Wil is still living here,” she said as she put the egg on the plate and placed it on their table. “I do all the house chores while he’s sitting there, eating his food and reading the daily news.”
“But I am not Wil,” he cut off, starting to get annoyed again. “I will never be like him, Tamara. He’s a douche, a dumbass bastard that—”
Tamara kissed his lips to stop him from talking. “I know,” she said and smiled. “You’re far from being him, Thaddeus. But please let me do the things that I did for him before. I want to make those sacrifices to the right person.”
Thaddeus looked at her thoughtfully. “Tamara, you don’t have to do this—”
“But I want to, Thaddeus…” She bit her lower lip until her eyes shone with tears. “I want to do this because I’m afraid that you might leave me if I didn’t show you how much I really felt for you.”
Thaddeus raised from his seat. “Tamara, we have talked about this, right?” he sighed. “I can’t stay here longer—”
“Why?” she asked, tears starting to fall from her eyes. “Is it because you need to do your job? That there are a lot of people that need your service?” She took his hand and held it tightly. “Can’t we be together while you’re doing your job?”
“It’s complicated, Tamara,” he said and tried to pull his hands from him. “I don’t want you to get hurt—”
“I’m already hurting!” she shouted and wept tears. “I don’t want you to leave, Thaddeus. I want you to stay with me. Is it too much to ask for?” She looked in his eyes. “Don’t you have feelings for me? Because I do. I love you…”
Thaddeus doesn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her that they shared the same feelings, but he can’t. He doesn’t want her to give false hopes. But he doesn’t want to see her like this.
“Tell me, Thaddeus…” Tamara pleaded. “Don’t you have feelings for me?”
Thaddeus closed his eyes and sighed. What is he going to do? “Tamara—”
“Answer me!” she shouted. “You don’t, right? Because if you have feelings for me too, you won’t hesitate to tell it to me…” she cried again. “What’s wrong with all of you? Why can’t you like a woman like me? Am I unlikeable? Am I ugly? Am I not the woman that you wanted to marry?” She wiped her tears and stepped away from him. “I get it… Maybe the problem was in me…”
Thaddeus tried to hold her hand, but she avoided him. “Tamara listened to me—”
“What for?” she asked in a trembling voice. “To say sorry to me?” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you. Why did you let me kiss you if you don’t have feelings for me? Why did you do all these things for me if… if…” She burst into tears again. “Go away…”
“Tamara—”
“Leave!” she shouted and turned her back on him. “I don’t need you in my life…”
Thaddeus looked at her. His chest hurt so much with all the things that she told him. “Okay, if this is what you really want…” he said and walked away, but before he could reach the door, Tamara hugged him.
“Don’t leave me…” She begged for him. “Don’t leave me, Thaddeus… I love you. Please…”
Thaddeus turned around to face her. “Why can’t you just listen to me first, Tamara?” he said and cupped her face. “I don’t want to leave you too…”
Tamara knotted her forehead. “Huh?”
Thaddeus smiled. “I love you too,” he said and lowered his head to kiss her lips.
__________________
Tamara took out her phone to look at herself in the mirror. Her brows furrowed when he saw her makeup faded because of waiting for her clearance in the former hospital to be released.
“No, I have to retouch it again before going inside.” She looked at the vast building of a Chinese Hospital. “I can’t believe that I’ll be able to work in here,” she said excitedly and walked towards the entrance.
She decided to call Thaddeus while she was in the comfort room, but the man wasn’t picking up. Tamara thought that maybe he was busy watching his favorite TV show again. She smiled at the thought that she’ll soon go home every day with a handsome man waiting for her. She remembered that Thaddeus promised to her yesterday when she made a scene and begged for him to stay.
Tamara thought he might just say it out of pity for her. But based on his actions, it looked like he really meant what he said. “If he didn’t… I will kill him,” she said as she narrowed her eyes in the mirror. She noticed the two women glancing at her in a knotted forehead. “I’m just practicing my lines…” she said and laughed awkwardly.
After she retouched her makeup, she went straight to the office where she will give her requirements so she could start on her duty. As she was turning by the hallway, Tamara caught a familiar man passing by a corner with the hospital director. She stopped on her feet and looked at the man.
“Thaddeus?” she asked in furrowed brows. “What is he doing here? And, where did he get that expensive-looking suit?”
She was about to approach Thaddeus when the man looked in her direction. Tamara could see in his eyes that he was surprised to see her. But what he did surprise her even more. Because instead of stopping to approach her, he just continued walking as if she wasn’t there.
***