“I CAN’T get you out of my mind, Tamara…”
Tamara looked up at Wil. She can’t believe that she’s hearing him say those words to her. But she knew that she has to guard her heart. This man have hurt her before, and he can do it over again. She lowered her head and didn’t answer his question.
Wil asked to talk to her, so instead of going out and eating Mami with Thaddeus, she invited Wil inside her apartment to talk. Thaddeus volunteered to stay outside while they talk. Tamara must admit, her heart suddenly jumped when she saw Wil in front of her house. It’s just almost three months since they broke up and Tamara couldn’t say that she has moved on from him. Six years of relationship wasn’t that easy to let go of. Especially if the two of you have stayed together in one house.
“Since we broke up I never had a good night's sleep,” he continued. “I always thought about you. About us… about everything that I’ve done to you.” He took her hand on her lap. “Tamara, I’ve missed you.”
Tamara didn’t know that she was already crying. She wanted to sleep herself because she shouldn’t be shedding tears again for this guy. But she can’t help it, when she saw him waiting outside her apartment, her heart melted.
“Why you didn’t realize it when we’re still together?” she asked, fighting back her tears. “Why now, that we have parted our ways?”
“It was true that you can’t see the value of the person until she walks away…” Wil brought her knuckles to his lips. “When I couldn’t see you, I almost got sick, Tamara… I need you in my life.”
It still hurt for her to see Wil like this. For years, she has taken care of him. She gave everything that he needs and made sure that he’ll be comfortable even when he sleeps. And now, here he is. Looking so pale and wasted because of their breakup.
“Tamara, it isn’t too late, right?” he begged for her. “Tell me that it isn’t too late for us to start over again?”
Start over again? Tamara asked in herself. “How about your woman?”
Wil’s expression suddenly changed. “She… She left me after the incident at the bar.”
“She should,” she said in a stern voice. “Because if I were also in her position, I would not just leave you, I will also make sure that you won’t find a woman like me.”
“And, I did, Tamara…” Wil said sincerely. “When we’re apart, I realized that no other woman can do all the efforts that you’ve done for me. That your love for me is incomparable and priceless.”
A smile formed in Tamara’s lips. Those are the words that she longed to hear from him. Should she accept him again? “Wil, you know how much I love you, right? And, I never failed to give everything that you need…”
“I know, Tamara, That’s why I am here now in front of you, asking for your forgiveness because I realize that I can’t leave without you, Tamara…” Wil went on his knees and clutched on her hands. “Tamara, I promise, I will be a better boyfriend for you now. Just give me another chance.”
Tamara’s heart wrenched at the sight of Wil begging for her to accept him again. “Please, stand up, Wil. Don’t do this to yourself—”
“I’ll get up if you’ll forgive me, Tamara…” Wil kissed her knuckles as his tears streamed down his cheeks. “Please, give me another chance.”
______________________
Thaddeus leaned on railings in front of Tamara’s apartment. From his direction, he can clearly see that Tamara is beginning to weaken again because of her ex-boyfriend. He clenched his jaw, a part of his heart is in pain while seeing them reconcile.
“How could you be so naïve, Tamara?” Thaddeus asked and turned his back. “That man has hurt you, and made you took your life… Still, when he asked for your forgiveness, you’re more than willing to give it.”
He sighed. Why does he feel in pain? Why does he feel as if he wanted to barge inside the house and tell Tamara to don’t believe her ex-boyfriend because he was just fooling her again? They were just happy together with a while ago. She even kissed him passionately… Or, maybe he was just the only one thinking it?
“Stupid,” he smirked. “How can I be so stupid?”
He knew from the very start that Tamara is the kind of woman that can be easily moved by anything that she could sympathize with. She can easily like someone and fall for them in a day, but because of it, she can easily forget her whirlwind feelings too. But her emotional investment with this guy is deep. Deeper than Thaddeus thought. But why does he feel like this?
Thaddeus caught his chest, his heart is beating abnormally fast. “Why does it hurt to see her looking at another man?” He narrowed his eyes to see behind the curtains of the living room, when he couldn’t see them inside, he quickly knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for their answer. “Oh, I’m sorry… I’ve got to use the toilte.”
Thaddeus walked slowly towards the toilet. Tamara’s ex-boyfriend was kneeling in front of her while crying. He wanted to laugh. He looked desperate. When he looked back at them, he caught Tamara’s expression. The woman was crying too…
“Don’t…” Thaddeus murmured, not taking his eyes off them. “Don’t say yes…”
“Please, Wil, get up…” Tamara urged the man to stand up, but he won’t. “Don’t do this.”
“I need your forgiveness, Tamara…” he pleaded. And, by the looks of his position while kneeling, it seemed that he really doesn’t have plan on leaving without getting an answer from Tamara. “Please, Tamara?”
Thaddeus grabbed the apple from the table and took a bite on it. His eyes never leave the two of them, and as the seconds passed by, Thaddeus’s patience is decreasing. When Tamara raised on her seat, Thaddeus walked towards them and called Tamara’s attention.
“Tamara, you looked tired. You need to take a rest first,” he said and took her hand from his ex-boyfriend. Tamara looked at him surprisingly, but she didn’t show any protest.
The man looked up and glared at him. “Who gave you the permission to interrupt us?” He stood up and faced him. “Who are you? And, why did you intrude in our house?”
Thaddeus laughed. “Our house?” he repeated. “It’s our house,” he said, stressing on the word ‘our’. “Whoever you are in Tamara’s life, please leave an come back tomorrow for her answer. She’s tired and couldn’t think clearly now.”
But the man pulled Tamara’s hand. “I need her answer now—”
Thaddeus grabbed the man’s hand and gripped it tightly until he flinched. “I hate repeating my words.” He looked at him sharply. “Leave.”
***