For so long I had worked myself up into this successful, reliable, ideal businesswoman who worked diligently to ensure that money flowed not only into my own pockets but also into the city, be it through the taxes I paid or the employees livelihoods I was responsible for.
I wasn’t squeaky clean - no one was, and if they tried to say they were they were guaranteed to be dirty somehow - and many had found some of my ’dirty’ secrets without much trouble, like how I had inherited a business instead of being completely the kind of self made that was from the ground up or how some of the business partners I had were definitely only partners for a couple of reasons...
Never had I exactly shied away from the knowledge that my body drove futanari and women crazy, but I didn’t embrace it wholly like Astra did; I had exposed myself a few times, sucked a dick here or there, let someone wine and dine me with the obvious desire to get into my bed and sign that deal with them, but... it was rare.
It happened, it wasn’t hidden, and that was fine; but now... the woman I was becoming was so different from who I had been that I couldn’t help but become extremely conflicted on just about everything.
My reputation was at stake, my ideals were being tainted, the things I had worked so hard for were being put at slight risk because of this... but I just couldn’t bring myself to care the same way I had always cared.
Because why shouldn’t I be allowed to have sex with that absolutely hung Bullkin outside, or why shouldn’t I accept the advances of a powerful and useful Noble like Fenkar if it meant making everything easier for everyone involved?
Why shouldn’t I just live my life the way I was now with how much fun I was having, with how happy I was becoming, with how efficient some of these days were beginning to become?
So what if I wanted to make a deal with some scummy Noble that was more beneficial for me business wise but involved me bouncing on their cock for a little while to make sure they were happy and content with what they were losing?
Did being this paragon of purity bring me any solutions at all to the problems in my life?
Did that purity I had prided myself on matter at all when the womb I was guarding was never meant to nourish life?
Almost immediately my mood crashed as I honed in on that one, singular issue that just stuck with me no matter how much I wanted it to go away; my infertility, my curse... why should I of all people have to bear such a curse?
I was so good to people, to this city... and yet it was me who was stuck with a womb incapable of growing a child?
What was the point of preventing myself from getting creampied if it didn’t matter at all since any sperm pumped into me was just going to die before it actually found somewhere to nurture itself into a beautiful, wonderful baby?
Sex was something done primarily to reproduce; for the longest time I was someone who held that belief at the forefront of my heart, believing so deeply in the idea that sex was meant to be done only to produce a child.
Even when the Queen called me to her bed every single night I just thought it was primarily because she wanted to have a child with me, and not because it just felt good and helped her unwind, helped her get rid of her stress.
Now I knew - and now I think - she did it because it was so good; because every time we entwined our bodies together at night, it felt absolutely divine for us both, and it made the long days worth living.
She and I both wanted a child from it, but more often than not I think she just wanted to empty her balls inside of me because she yearned to fill me with her cum and nothing more... and was she so wrong to think that?
Was I so wrong to want that nowadays?
Biting my lip and staring at the table, I continued to lose myself to those thoughts only to jolt back to reality when Astra gently smacked my hand, dragging me from my mind and forcing me to stare at her.
"Now I know my beautiful and extremely intelligent wife isn’t throwing herself into a depressing spiral for no other reason than debating whether sex is ’good or bad’."
I blinked a few times as I looked up at her, meeting those ruby red eyes and wondering what the hell she was talking about, only to smile wryly since she wasn’t entirely wrong either; when she kept going and squeezed my hand in hers I felt my heart tighten a little, flooding me with a complicated warmth.
"Sex is sex, Renna, and as long as consent is there who gives a damn about anything else? You’re still a businesswoman, still the strong and infallible Duchess that everyone looks up to. If you want to let Fenkar bang you a few times, want to smother someone between these gigantic titties of yours, want to just suck the soul out of someone... it doesn’t change the fact that you are Duchess Poinset."
Wrapping everything in that teasing tone of hers made my smile widen a little even as my eyes watered, though before she could worry about that I just chuckled and murmured "I am still Duchess Poinset, yes... even if I use my ’gigantic titties’ here or there...", causing Astra to grin at me as she nodded sagely.
"Exactly. Renna, my love, I think - and this is just my opinion, so agree or disagree - it would be best if you took a more... balanced approach for the next week. No new ’friends’, no day long marathons... just a mix of work, fun, and time at home. You need to find yourself a balance that works for you."
"No new friends... got it. Even if you try and lure me into a predicament with someone else again? Like that Scorpionkin merchant Selkis?"
Astra grinned even harder as she playfully swatted my arm, relaxing even more and quipping back "Even then! Though you have to admit it was hard to say no to her, right~? Such a built futanari with that ribbed cock... Goddesses above, she was such~ a good fuck...", sending us into another spiral.
It wasn’t a downwards one though, where the only thing to look forwards to was depression and negativity; instead she was lifting me up with her absurd amount of horniness that never went away, regaling me with a fabricated tale of how she would ride Selkis into the desert and become her most prized treasure... in very intimate detail, of course~!