Ashley.
Pushing the door open I was met with a quite and also empty living room. Just when I was about to take a step more into the room, the door to the bedroom was pushed open and Neil face surface. Like a hammer had been banged on the a table, that's what I felt. And that's when I regret listening to Kristine. Come to think of it, what I'm about to do is childishness. I wanted to turn around and leave but my legs aren't following my orders.
Neil's eyes were consciously on me. I could feel them hot on me or preferable on my body. Realizatuon downed on me. I was supposed to keep my head high. As Kristine said, I'm Ashley Richard.
So I did absolutely that. Lifting up my face, I let out a smile. "Hey" I would be lying if I say I didn't catch a glimpse of his eyes raking my body. "Hey" Came his reply after a moment of silence. Making my way in, I made myself comfortable on the couch, leg crossed. Neil also did the same but left his legs uncrossed.
"You look takeaway" He uttered out his eyes not leaving mine. Another smile made it way out of my lips. And I found myself saying what I didn't intend to. "I have to. Besides, a wife need to look good for her husband" I didn't miss how his eyes widened at my words.
"Or don't you like it Lucas?" I emphasize the last word on purpose together with a wink. I don't know the hell why I'm changing the plans. I planned to just have a chat with him and here I am acting as a seducer.
"You have no idea how calm I'm trying to be right now?" He rise to a standing position and like someone who is not in his right mind, I stood rooted to my seat. He squatted beside me, giving no less than one meter of space. "You have no idea how breathtaking you are that I cannot find myself to stop staring at you" I know by then my cheeks would've been burnt out due to blushing. But then what, I'm not here for that. At least not yet.
Clearing out my voice, I adjust my sitting position. "I'm here because I want us to have a serious conversation. One on one" I let out in a serious tone. His brows creased in question. "About what?" he asked.
I heaved out a sharp breath before proceeding. "About everything that is going on in my life. If my father Is going through some difficulty I needed to know. I know I said I would give you some time but after much thinking, I can't seem to sit idle. They might not need my support, but I want to support them. I want us to fight the difficulties together. I-" I stopped to take in a deep breath.
"I know whatever's been happening is taking a big toll on you but I want you to be a little bit patience. I'm just waiting for the right time to reveal everything to you"
"What right time Neil? Tell me you're still not going to tell me anything" I'm hoping what I'm thinking won't be his answer.
"I will tell you but that won't be now" I knew it. Anger began to rise inside me at his words. I don't know what he's hiding from me. Why is it hard for him to tell me? I instantly rose up to standing position.
"What are you hiding Neil? And why is it hard for you to tell me? Don't you think I deserve to know everything. About why Raphael wants me dead. About why my dad still hasn't made a move to get me out of this unfamiliar place. About why my life took a turn. I honestly don't understand my life " My voice was slightly raised as some emotions began to build up in me.
Neil took a step forward and just when he was about to touch me, I step back. "Not now. You can't always shut me up using your tactics. I'm feed up with it. What do you take me for? A joke?" I raised a question watching him straight in the eye.
"Listen to me Ashley. You-"
"No you listen to me. I'm confused honestly. One time you're showing me affection and one time you're cold towards me which consufes me. Even though I don't know if you feel the same way as I do towards you, I still had that tiny hope that maybe. Just maybe you did have. But I think I'm wrong, I shouldn't have feeling towards someone who hides secrets from me" I exclaimed raking my hands through my hair. All the doll up is of no use now.
It should be the last time I will behave childishly the way I did. I should give up already. A moment of silence fell on us as I breath in and out while Neil was rooted to the ground. I know I tried to break that wall he'd been concealing. However, I don't think I will go on any longer.
"I don't have the courage to tell you" Came his voice. My face snapped towards him. The anger that once subsided resurface again. And I found myself leaping forward.
"You don't have the courage? Then you don't deserve to be my bodyguard. You don't deserve to stand before me and act like the good guy. When you're not. You know what I'm starting to hate you. No. That is not the right word to use. I hate you with passion"
And I wasn't lying. I shouldn't realised it sooner. It's unlike me to stick to a guy. Yet, Neil is turning me into a different person. The surprised expression on his face was dimmed visible. I know he wasn't expecting my outburst. But it's time to wake up from the fantasy and face my reality. Face who I am. Taking that as our final discussion, I turned around. I made a choice from then. If I leave the house then there's no turning back.
I barely took two steps when I felt a strong arm surround me. "Please don't leave" Came his hushed voice. If it was before my body will weaken and I would agree to his demand but now is different. I've already made a decision. "Let me go. I don't have time for all this"
"I love you. Please don't leave me"