Veronica
Infuriating is what it was. Veronica took a deep breath before hitting the unlock button on her car. She knew coming with Noah tonight was a mistake. She never should've done it. And if he expected her to admit she was pissed—beyond pissed—about the fact that he'd given Gio's cousin a long hard ride the day after Thanksgiving, he was out of his mind.
She thought back to that day now as she shoved her key into the ignition: the day he'd acted disappointed that he couldn't join her at the park to take her stupid pictures. Yeah, she was sure now that was sincere. A day at the park watching her take pictures of snails and raindrops on leaves, or a day of sex with his holiday whore? Hmm, tough choice.
But again, she reminded herself it was none of her business. Noah was free to do what he pleased. He owed her no explanations, and she wasn't asking him for any, so why the hell was he pushing this now? Did he want to embarrass her? Was this fun for him? He wanted her to say that it had bothered her more she'd ever imagined? She'd sooner die.
He finished putting on his seat belt just as she began to back out. "You were pretty obvious, Roni. I don't know why you just don't tell me." She turned to him, expecting some kind of smug smirk or twinkle in his eyes. Instead, he was glaring at her. "You have a thing for Gio?"
She blinked, stopping the car right there in the middle of the parking lot and stared at him. "What?"
"I saw the way you looked at him with that girl. Admit it. You were jealous."
She shook her head slowly, trying to make sense of what he'd just said. This is what he'd been referring to all this time? He thought she was jealous of Gio and that groupie?
"You looked disgusted when she sat down next to him. That's when I noticed you were upset, and then you suddenly wanted to leave?"
Roni's mind raced as her foot stepped down on the accelerator and they were on the move again. She was glad now that the restaurant was just a few blocks away from her house. She wanted nothing more than to get this night over with. Hector's comment had hit her like a slap, and she'd spent the entire time after that trying and apparently failing miserably to recover from it. Seeing Gio with that groupie served only as another reminder that this was Noah's world and she had absolutely no right to be judging him. He was young and deserved to be sowing his wild oats. But there was no escaping the festering jealousy she'd felt, knowing he slept with Gio's cousin and would apparently be doing so again in just a week.
She'd have to worry about her annoyingly contradicting emotions later. For now, there was hope that he'd misconstrued her stewing. Instead, he was under the ridiculous notion that she was jealous over Gio.
"All right, you got me."
"You're into him?" His voice was a near whisper now.
"No." She turned to him. He'd been staring straight ahead, but he turned to face her when she answered. "Don't be ridiculous. He's your age, remember? But you got me about the groupie. I remembered what you said about them before, and I guess I was a little disgusted. But I wasn't upset."
"So you're saying you couldn't be into him because of his age?"
Glad that they'd gotten past the subject of her being jealous about anything, she nodded in relief. "Well, yeah. He's twenty like you, right?"
"But what does that have to do with anything?"
Veronica rolled her eyes. "It has everything to do with it. Why would a guy his age be interested in a woman my age?"
"That's just it. If he ever was, he wouldn't be thinking about your age. He'd be interested in you. You're hung up on a number, Roni. What? Is it because you think a twenty-year-old is not mature enough for you?"
Veronica pulled into her driveway, feeling a little uncomfortable about where this conversation was going. She got the distinct feeling they weren't talking about Gio anymore.
"No, I'm thinking about experience," she said, getting out of the car.
"Oh, is that it? You want an experienced guy?"
Veronica frowned. "That's not what I mean. I'm talking about his life experience versus mine. There is still a lot a guy that age—your age—needs to experience, and it would be unfair for me or any older woman to come along and expect him—or any guy his age—to just skip those things to catch up to her."
He stood a little too close to her as she unlocked the front door, and it unnerved her. She could smell his musky cologne and, this close, feel the warmth of his body, even though they were still inches away.
"You ever change a baby's diaper, Roni?"
She glanced at him, confused as she pushed the door open. "No."
"I have."
"What does that—"
"I helped raise kids for years when I was the oldest one in my foster home and my foster parents weren't around, which happened a lot. There were four other kids in the house. One was a baby—eight months old. There were two toddlers and a smart-ass preteen who thought he knew everything, and I was left alone with them all the time. I fed them, bathed them, helped them with their homework, and put them in bed at night. Then I made sure they got up in the morning and got to school on time. They counted on me—me, the fifteen-year-old, to be the adult, not their parents who were supposed to be the real adults."
They were in the living room now, and Veronica had frozen midway, listening to him. She stared at him, something huge pressing at her throat, holding her words hostage. Clearing her throat, she finally spoke. "Where were your foster parents?"
He frowned, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and tossing it on the coffee table. "They just weren't around. My point is, at my age, I have more experience raising kids or being a father than a lot of thirty-year-olds do."
Veronica gulped, bringing her hand to her neck as if that would pull away the invisible hand that gripped it. "I'm talking about other experiences, Noah. People can become parents at all ages in life. It's not fair, but it's a fact of life. My mom and my grandparents are perfect examples."
"Then what are you talking about?" He crossed his arms in front of him and waited for her to answer.
She set her purse down on the sofa and began to peel off the layers she wore starting with her jacket. "I'm just saying people my age are at a different stage of their life." She thought of Noah and Gio's cousin. Hit with a sudden hot flash, she pressed her lips together. "I'm not looking for young guys that are in no way ready to settle down, and I'd never be selfish enough or naïve enough to think a twenty-year-old is, especially one with groupies ready to jump at the snap of his fingers."
"I think I told you how I feel about groupies."
"Yeah, I remember—they're hot."
He peered at her now. "I also said they're not for me."
"Oh, yeah? So you're only into the ones that do drive-bys on holidays?"
She gulped hard, trying to hold back the emotion that overwhelmed her now. The conversation had taken a turn, and Noah stared at her speechlessly. The thought of some girl riding him nearly choked her. As long as they were putting it out there, she'd tell him exactly why she'd never consider a relationship with an immature man whore. "I need stability, Noah, someone who's over the one-night stands and interested in a serious relationship, someone I can count on."
"Like Derek you mean? The guy your age that walked out on you when you needed him most?"
The slap in the face was utterly humiliating. She'd held the tears back long enough. She wasn't sure how much longer she could do it. Feeling the air sucked out of her, she was sure she might fall apart right then and there, so she spun around and took off to her room.
"Roni, I'm sorry." He called out.
The second she closed the door behind her, she locked it then leaned her back against it, sliding slowly down until she sat on the floor. She took one long trembling breath, wiping the tears away in anger. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
There was a soft knock at the door. "Roni? You okay?"
She swallowed hard, clearing her throat. The last thing she wanted was to let on how miserable she was feeling. "I'm fine."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"I just had a long day. That's all. We both did. You should go to bed. It's what I'm gonna do."
"You sure you're okay?"
She squeezed her eyes shut; the tears were streaming down even more now, and she nodded. "Uh-huh." As hard as she'd tried, her voice cracked, and she was sure he'd heard it, but he said nothing.
For a few long moments, there was silence, and then finally she heard his footsteps walk away. There was a bang on the wall across the hall then the sound of his door closing.
As much as she'd like to tell herself these tears were about Derek, they had nothing to do with him, and she knew it. The fact that a week from now Noah would be with Gio's cousin again and she'd have nothing to distract her from thoughts about it while he was gone is what really killed her. She already knew it was going to drive her crazy. The worst part was that she'd be there, waiting for him when he got home, knowing exactly what he'd just done. God, she had to get a life.