C H A P T E R - E I G H T E E N
My ass was pinched by his hand. "You're getting it."
Then another thought occurred to me.
"What happens when you outperform the situation?"
“What?”
"What happens when it's no longer a challenge?" ”
His hand released my ass to allow his arm to snake around my waist, and he drew me closer, whispering, "Sweet Pea."
I drew my torso back as much as I could while keeping my gaze fixed on his.
"Does that suffice as an answer?" I inquired.
He kept his gaze fixed on me and said, "You going to offer me you?"
It was now my time to ask, "What?”
"Babe, you stated yesterday that your fuckwad ex crushed you. And I know this because I've been seeing you approach every circumstance between us with one hand up as if you're warding off a threat for days. When I do something you appreciate, your expression softens because I shocked you; you haven't gotten stuff like that from a man before. You simply approached me and wrapped your arms around me, nice. I forced you to come after me, and I've been inside you. You've expressed your appreciation. But, Gia, that hand is still up, shoving me away. You haven't even come close to giving me you. There is no way I could have beaten this circumstance."
That was an answer, but it wasn't the correct one.
"All OK, so you best the scenario."
"No, I haven't."
"Say you will."
"I haven't, Gia."
"But suppose you do."
"I do, and then we'll see how it goes."
That's not a good answer. I knew how it ended. That was taught to me by Jonas De Leon.
"I need coffee now," I said as I gazed at his chest.
"Gia," he said.
My arms slipped over his back, allowing my hands to push on his chest.
His arms became tense. “Gia.”
I put more pressure on his chest.
He gently shook me and said, "Gia, give me your eyes." I glanced up at him, and he said, "You want false promises?"
" When I didn't respond, his face sunk closer.
"I can't predict the future, baby."
"I can," I said quietly, pressing firmly on his chest.
I managed to get a few inches before he yanked me back, his arms wrapping around me.
"There it is, Gia, that hand you raised," he added calmly.
“I need coffee, Falcone.”
I lowered my head and pressed again on his chest, but his hand came up, knotted in my hair, and slowly pulled back so I was gazing at him.
"All right, darling," he continued, "there are two possibilities here. I'm the best in this circumstance, and you offer me everything of you; honestly, I'm not sure that's what I want, so we both go on."
I jerked my head back, but he remained strong and continued speaking.
"Or," he said, "I find treasure, and a man who finds treasure does all in his power to defend and keep it near. I'm not sure which way this will go, but I'm willing to wait and watch. That's a risk I haven't taken in a long time, Gia; it's one I've avoided. But I'm willing to take that chance with you. You're backing away now, which tells me I'm not worth the danger you're taking with me."
I put my difficulties aside and gazed at him.
"Are you going to walk away?" he dared to say.
"I need to ponder," I said quietly.
His head trembled. “No. You absolutely do not. You spend too much time in your thoughts, curling up and shutting everything out, and you spend so much time doing it that you forget to live your life. You cannot spend your life entirely in your brain. That's not living. I know, believe me. I've been doing something similar for a long time, so long that I've forgotten what it's like to be alive. You got in my face when you returned from Grind and reminded me of what it's like to be alive. Sweet Pea, it feels fantastic, therefore I'm not going back."
"What are you talking about?" I said, despite the fact that something was choking my throat.
"I'll tell you what, you drop that hand and stop fendin' me off."
"You tell me now, and maybe I'll drop that hand," I said back.
"It doesn't work like that, Gia."
I became enraged and said, "Of course not."
"You don't get it, Babe."
"I do," I said. "It's your way or the highway."
"There it is again, that hand."
God! How could I have forgotten how irritating he was?
He desired it? He was determined to obtain it.
"I loved him," I said, Falcone's body motionless, and I continued. "A lot. Looking back, I have no idea why, but I was certain at the moment. Without a doubt. Iknew. I was 100 percent confident. Without a question. There are none. Is that anything you've heard before? ”
"Babe -"
"On our wedding day, Isabelle fucked him."
Falcone's body seized on that, and I nodded. "This isn't a joke. Nobody knows. Nobody, not even Mic and Antonette. Later, she was in some difficulties, albeit not as bad as she is today, and she needed to crash in our house, so I allowed her. I was out, I don't remember what I was doing, and when I returned home, they were back at it. Isabelle informed me that all came out then, and Jonas didn't dispute it. Isabelle, I got it, Isabelle was like that all the time. But, Jonas, despite knowing, I shut myself up in my thoughts, went into denial, and pretended. I hoped he'd mature and grow out of it. But you quickly wake up when you enter into your house and see your spouse banging your sister."
Falcone gazed at me as I continued to speak.
"You know what's funny? I think Isabelle did it, so warn me." Isabelle, I believe, understood precisely what type of jerk he was and that was her messed-up attempt of protecting me. She wasn't happy about it, and she didn't shove it in my face. She seemed relieved. But I loved him, I was so certain, and I didn't want to confess I was mistaken. And when you're so certain and end up getting it wrong, you lose trust in yourself and your capacity to make sound life judgments. So there's a reason that hand's up, Falcone. Because I was certain about you as well, and for a year and a half you provided me with nothing but fantastic sex. You want more, but there is no way in hell I'm not proceeding with utmost care."
"Baby," he said as his palm cradled my head and his arm drew me near.
No. No. He couldn't be kind and get to me at the same time. He had to offer me something other than sweet.
"You said you'd be there in twenty minutes," I reminded him. "I also need to think about it. You may not like it, but tough. It's my job. So please excuse me."
He refused to let me leave. He gripped me tightly and looked me in the eyes.
"Falcone - "
"All right, sweetie, I'll let you go, but consider this when you crawl inside your skull." I've been dead for eight years. I had individuals that were devoted to me and I didn't let anyone, not one fucking person, into those ranks. Then I see this woman at a café laughing in public, as if she's chuckling with her girlfriends over coffee at her kitchen table. I gave her the only thing I had to give her. I know everything about you, Gia, since my men were required to report to me on a daily basis. Where you go, what you did, who you were with, how you spent your money, who you met, who you called, when the lights turned out in your bedroom and they knew you were sleeping I told myself it was because you needed to be looked for, but it wasn't that, Gia, it was never that. I didn't realize it at the time. I didn't realize it until Jorge called and told me to hurry my a$$ to base because you were on screen in Grind. I didn't go to base; instead, I requested a report, received it, and went to your house because I knew your crap had just become hot and I knew I wasn't going to allow anyone hurt you. Then I watched the recordings, and I knew the next day that both Magtanggol and Finn were throwing down, and that's when I realized no one, not even me, was going to have you. Except for you, I haven't allowed anyone in in eight years. You still have all I have to offer, but I won't trust you with the rest until you trust me. Think about that as you creep into your mind."
He then gave me his blessing before leaving. He didn't disappear—his apartment was too large for that—but I didn't turn around to see him depart because I was frozen with astonishment, dread, and something else that was very different, warm, and much frightening.