CHAPTER 45 Date
“UH, DORIS, PLEASE take Clarence out first. We just need to talk about something.”
“No, wait . . .” he stopped Doris from leaving. He stepped closer to the two, almost wondering who the baby was.
My heart stops beating completely. I almost stiffened from the moment he started to step closer to Clarence. He stopped and looked at the child still sound asleep.
“What is his name?” His voice became smooth and gentle. He unconditionally held the hand of the naive child.
Doris glanced at me before answering. “Uh, his name is Clarence Xander,” she muttered lowly.
He clenched his jaw tight and turned his scowl face at me. I almost lost my color because of his dark look.
“Ah, Clarence and I will just go out. Sister’s bonding for a moment,” Doris said and bid goodbye. I couldn’t even nod because Lawrence quickly stepped closer to me.
He grabbed me by the hand and looked at me with dark and cold, piercing eyes. “How could you do this to me?! Why did you hide your pregnancy from me? He’s my son! My own flesh and blood! How could you, Margaux?!” His voice sounded more painful than anything.
I swallowed, my lips quivering so bad. I can feel the hot tears already welling up in my eyes. I want to stop, but it’s too late.
“I blame myself because you left. I tried to find you; even Carrick didn’t want to tell me where you were. They hide you from me!”
I felt his tight grip on my wrist, lowered his head down with black eyes drilling into mine. “But the world, Margaux, is not that small because you are not good at hiding.”
I bit my lower lip and drew a deep breath. “I never hide . . .” I said stiffly.
“D*mn it!”
I swallowed hard again. He released and wiped the two palms on his face. “F*ck!” he cursed sharply.
A pair of tears raced down my cheeks. My two knees are slowly weakening. Seeing him full of hatred made my heart swelling and hurt in a way that cuts deep in my core.
“I hired an investigator, and I knew you were in France, living on the same roof with Peter while carrying my child. How was that, huh?!” he shouted with full of rage.
“I just wanted to protect him!” I couldn’t finish my word because of his vulgar coarse.
“Protect him from whom? From me? That’s bullshit, Margaux!”
I bit my lip hard. It was as if a dagger had pierced my heart. I admit I want to take it away from him, but I know that no matter what I do, I cannot deny that he’s the father of my Clarence.
“I don’t want to hide my pregnancy from you. I’m about to confess that night, but Elliesse told me that she’s also pregnant,” I said with my shaking voice.
He shook his head and chuckled with displeasure. “And you believed her?”
I lowered my head down then nodded ashamedly.
“That will never happen! I never laid my fingers on her,” he said in a deep voice.
He stepped closer to me. His hand reaches up both my cheeks and wipes away my tears. I opened my mouth to let in a small breath as tears drain in my eyes.
“It’s you whom I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I know we didn’t have a good start, but I promise to make things right this time. Just give us a try.”
I pursed my lips, feeling my throat dry up to the next word he said.
“Marry me, Margaux.”
I sighed. That was the word I was most afraid to hear again. The word gave me so much pain and agony. I fell in love once. Unfortunately, I fell for the wrong one. I gave my all, I almost left nothing for myself, but that was not enough.
“I am ready to marry you and build a family with you and our son,” he now said in a hushed voice.
I closed my eyes tightly and bowed. I also tried to hold his hand to lower it.
“I-I’m sorry. I can’t marry you . . .” I stuttered.
I finally walked away and tried to turn my back on him, but his firm grip stopped me. His arms wrap around my back, and in one gentle pull, our skin touches. His hands move over my skin that made my legs crumble.
I drew out short pants and shoved him off. But his arms seemed to be iron, and I was only tightly bound.
“I know you still love me, Margaux. You can’t lie to me,” he muttered under his breath.
I was overwhelmed. My throat started to tighten. His grip on me made it even harder for me to barely breathe.
“You promised to marry, Elliesse,” I mumbled shakily.
He chuckled, a splintering laugh that sent a shiver on me. I quickly averted my eyes from him because of his burning stare.
“I did not promise her anything. That was just an arranged marriage, and I already canceled the wedding,” he said in a low voice.
I closed my eyes and struggled with the trembling of my two knees. Gradually Elliesse’s words came back to me. She admitted to me that she was pregnant then, but the truth is not. What about the share of their company to Saavedra’s? Is all that true? I only know so little about Lawrence’s background, I never had a chance to get to know him well, and that is what I deeply regret now.
I want to, but many things were holding me back. My past relationship with Lester is one of them. I want to focus on Clarence first, and the other one holding me back is Peter. What will he say after he has sacrificed his whole time for us? I do not want to hurt him, and I don’t want to see him hurt.
“No, I’m sorry! I can’t marry you!” I shook my head many times. I let in a small breath as I hold my tears to fall.
His jaw clenched so tightly, and his eyes were holding a wave of total anger. It looks like he cannot accept what I said.
“Please, leave us alone . . .” I said in my weaker voice.
“You’re unbelievable,” he said while shaking his head. “You let me love you that night. You kissed me that night. Don’t tell me . . . it’s because of that man?! Are you in love with him? Are you?!” he said through gritted teeth.
“No!” I replied quickly.
But he does not seem to believe. His expression didn’t show any big changes. My heart raced as I took a glance at his pitch-black eyes, teeth grinding, and balled up his fist so hard that blue veins protruded.
“I’m sorry,” I utter slowly.
The room sank into silence. I wiped away the tears. I want to retract what I said, but I know it will be better for both of us.
Not a second after, Lawrence pulls me to him. My palms landed directly on his wide chest. He bent down and looked at me. His eyes were deep and burning. I can’t breathe properly. My whole body was feeling tingly at this point. If he continues this, I will not be able to stand by what I said.