CHAPTER 35 Heart Throbs
I LOOKED UP at him, and Lawrence gave me a blank stare. His expression was hard to read. I don’t know if I should be happy with what he said, but I failed to see the sparkle in his eyes as before. His handsome face was cold without a trace of humanity. I immediately felt apprehensive and anxious.
I thought he already canceled the engagement? Then what are they talking about?
“Really? So you’re not sure about Elliesse yet?!” Cindy exclaimed. She seemed even more surprised by what he said.
“Oops, I’m sorry!” She did apologize after and fired back at me.
“Well, we’re not in a hurry. We enjoy each other’s company, right, babe?” Elliesse grabbed his arm and looked up at his sudden seriousness.
He did not answer, but instead, he sipped the glass he was holding. He leaned back on the couch and just let Elliesse hug him.
I swallow hard, I want to look away, but there seems to be a magnet trying to get my eyes back on him. I sighed defeatedly.
What is wrong with you, Margaux?
I want to rebuke myself because I can’t help but do that every time his lips open.
“How about the two of you? We heard that you are getting along?” Carrick asked Peter.
“We’re dating,” Peter confidently said and held my hand at the table.
I swallowed again, and a strong heat rose beneath my cold eyes. I didn’t dare to speak because it’s true, we are dating.
“It looks like they have more there,” Lawrence well annunciates and mocked, an insulting mocked.
The whole room felt shut-in. I got cold from sitting down, I wanted to refute what he said and say nothing happened with Peter and me, but my heart was so tired that I didn’t want to speak.
“Really?! Maybe you two will get married earlier!” Carrick nodded again.
“Margaux and I still have a lot of plans. Actually, we plan to travel together abroad,” Peter declared. He seemed certain of what he was saying.
“Is that true, bestie?!” Cindy rolled her eyes at me.
I cough shortly, and even I was shocked by what Peter said. Because he never mentioned it to me once.
“Yeah, we already plan those two,” I said casually.
I turned to look at Peter, who had a wide smile on his face.
I also couldn’t help but glance at Lawrence. His face was still warm and vicious, but unfortunately, I couldn’t make out his emotion from those dark eyes.
“I also want to travel with you, babe.” Elliesse pouted her lips and entangled her arms around Lawrence’s firm midriff body.
I rolled my eyes and focused again on the food. Is this some kind of a joke or what? That was so hypothetically funny, huh!
“Sure . . . once we’re get married,” Lawrence answered.
I closed my eyes in despair and dug my nails into my palm. I am strangled in pain. His words are like a dagger trying to touch my heart. I breathe slowly, trying to alleviate the pain brought by what he said.
“Hey, are you alright?” Peter asked me gently.
“Yeah, I’m just going to the bathroom.”
I stood up straight and walked the path to the bathroom. I could feel my muscles trembling as I walked away. Every step feels like a nail bomb exploding in my heart. There is no stopping the pain with every step away.
I shake my head and shut my eyes firmly in front of the mirror.
No, this is not you, Margaux. You’re a strong woman. You do not just send your emotions. You don’t give up easily. You fight for what is right.
One by one, I shed tears at the corner of my eye. Even if I stop it, it’s too late because it will drip completely, and I wipe it violently.
I also can’t help but think of the words Lawrence uttered earlier. If so, will the marriage really continue? Isn’t this what I want to happen? I should be happy, but I don’t think I can do that. I can’t be happy for both of them.
I was immediately relieved when the door suddenly opened. I swallowed hard when I saw Elliesse, hurriedly went inside and placing down her purse carefully at my side.
She straightened the loose hair before facing me. She wrapped her arms around her chest confidently.
“So, how are you?” she asked with a hint of humor.
“I’m good,” I quickly said.
I also quickly parted my hair and distracted myself by rummaging through what was in the purse I was carrying.
“You are? You look like you are not okay.” She stared straight into my two eyes.
I lower down my lashes, not ready to lose the battle.
Her smirked grew while fishing around something in her purse. “Come on! There are no people around us. You can take off your mask,” she bluntly said, then put on some lipstick.
“Excuse me?”
She shakes her head, “Didn’t you heard about the news? You are famous for being plastic,” she accused and gave me a loud laugh.
I scoffed, “Sorry, I haven’t heard about it because I don’t like to live by gossiping about other people’s lives,” I bluff and shrug a bit.
She stopped laughing. The smile on her lips instantly vanished, so I took a step closer to him.
“Why don’t you mind your own business instead of spreading fake news, huh?!” I sarcastically said.
She was obviously surprised by what I said but recovered immediately. High forehead to face me. She eyed me boldly and lifted her lips crustily before she spoke.
“I will not stop what you said, ’cause I do not stomp down to your level. And may I remind you that you will never win because I already have him,” she mere whisper at my ears.
I pursed my lips. I could not speak immediately because of the sharp words she released.
“By the way, just put your mask back on! It looks like you’ll need to wear that again when you go back inside,” she added. Without saying a word, she turned her back on me and left.
Again I was left hanging and speechless at the same time.
***
I CAME OUT of the bathroom as if I had nothing to do with myself, nothing entered my mind now but the child I was going to give birth with.
I drew a deep breath, pinning my back against the hall. I closed my eyes tightly to relieve the pain in my heart, but the more I thought about it, the deeper the wound is.
“Margaux?”
I quickly turned to Cindy. I immediately cleared my thoughts and smiled at her.
“Is there a problem? Peter was waiting for you.” She gently stroked my arm.
“Uh, no, there are quite a few people in the bathroom,” I trailed off.
I started to step on my feet to escape her critical eyes, but she stopped my arm.
“Wait, Margaux.”
I looked up and closed my eyes tightly before facing her. “I’m fine, Cindy. You have nothing to worry about me,” I said, then tried to smile.
“You’re not.”