I took a deep breath inside the car, making sure to replace the air freshener with a scent I like. I don't want to risk feeling nauseous or dizzy because of a scent I dislike. Oh goodness, seriously. This makes me feel like I'm changing my habits a little—or rather, a lot. Even when it comes to food, I've become picky. I'll only eat what I have in mind. If not, well... don't expect me to touch it.
I arrived at the office basement earlier than usual. I need to prepare because I'm sure Krystal will ask all sorts of questions later. And I have to answer honestly, right? I'll just leave out the part about my plans. I'll make it seem like it's due to work exhaustion. Easy, right?
Even if Krystal decides to fire me, by then, maybe the fetus in my womb would have naturally disappeared. Starting today, I'm determined to make it vanish as soon as possible. No need for pills or anything. Since my return, I've read many articles about the dangers of aborting at such an early stage. Especially with the use of drugs. It could have serious consequences for me as the pregnant woman.
No. No. I'm already making myself tired enough. The effects of exhaustion can be a frightening specter for most early-stage pregnant women. Including me. While others are careful to avoid exhaustion, what am I looking for in the ends of the earth? What does exhaustion even look like?
I glanced at my reflection from the rear-view mirror. Not bad. I managed to cooperate this morning, meaning I didn't feel nauseous. My belly is still somewhat flat, but I'm being cautious. I wear a knee-length dress paired with a formal blazer so it doesn't look too casual. I tied my long hair up high. My makeup is of the natural kind. I don't like overdoing it.
I'm ready.
Well, not really, but I can't delay it anymore. It's a workday. I already replied to Krystal's message hours ago, letting her know that I could come in on Monday. I try to motivate myself by gripping the straps of my worn-out bag on my shoulder tightly. I walk as usual.
"Hi, Anya."
My heart feels like it's about to leap out of my chest. When I turn around, I finally let out a relieved exhale. I was too preoccupied with thoughts of Krystal that I didn't notice who was calling me. "Hi," I replied.
"Are you feeling better? You still look pale, though." Kelvin walks beside me. From his facial expression, I know he's genuinely concerned about me. Which means he's being sincere.
I chuckle softly in response. "No, I'm fine. Staying too long at the hospital didn't help with my recovery."
"Because I didn't visit, right?" he jokes, and I welcome it with a small laugh. "Why can't I visit? I won't disturb you, seriously. But I was really worried, Anya."
"Thanks, Vin. But I really needed the rest."
Now it's his turn to laugh, making his eyes squint.
"Not because Naomi forbade it, right?"
We both laugh together again.
"Don't keep rejecting me, huh? At least let me be your friend. You can be friends with Doni, so why not me?"
Oh gosh! Doni is a big exception in my life, you know! But I'm reluctant to respond to Kelvin's words. I choose to smile instead of answering.
"You'll regret it if I'm no longer here."
Huh?!
I turn to him, furrowing my brow. "Why?"
He just smiles in response, then gestures for me to enter the open elevator first.
"You're not usually with Naomi or Doni. Where are they?"
***
"Hey, have you had breakfast?" Krystal suddenly asks as I return from the restroom. After putting my bag down, I headed to the restroom because I suddenly felt an urgent need to pee. As if something is pressing too tightly on my abdomen. I'm confused myself. Is that normal?
"Yes, I have, Ma'am."
Krystal gives a skeptical look. "Just eat, okay? Don't faint again here."
I stay silent, accepting a full plate of sweet-smelling layer cakes that she handed me. Then the woman with black hair returns to her office without saying anything else to me. Part of me says it's still too early to initiate a heavy conversation like my case. Another part is grateful that at least Krystal isn't giving me any weird looks.
The day goes smoothly, too smoothly. Krystal doesn't bother me too much. My work from last week was done perfectly. I just need a bit more data from the finance department for the report that Krystal requested before the incident where I fainted. I don't want to waste the time I have. Because who knows, even if I'm relaxed now, tomorrow I might be swamped with piles of documents and meetings outside.
Who knows? I, who hold Krystal's agenda, can twist and turn to balance it. When I look, it's five minutes to lunchtime. I'm grateful that I've managed to get through the day without any weird feelings, even though I have to smell the scent of eucalyptus oil quite frequently. I suddenly remember Kelvin's words from earlier. Normally, Naomi would have been busy chatting with me since morning. Or Dona would have been making a fuss, asking for breakfast or at least asking what I want for breakfast.
This time, my phone is quiet without any notifications. Are they both mad? Why? Because of my decision? Is that it? I've analyzed and thought about it thoroughly, weighing the pros and cons and my future ahead. The choice I made is the best path.
Maybe there's no harm in sending them a message first. But before I could even reach for my phone, the intercom buzzed.
"Hello?" I know who's calling. The number zero on the button lights up, indicating that Krystal's extension is connected to mine.
"Let's have lunch outside, Ya. Bring your laptop, we might be here until evening. I have an appointment afterward."
I tried to recall all of Krystal's agendas for today. None of them indicated that she had an appointment after lunch. And with me, too. Suddenly, my heart started pounding rapidly. Is this when Krystal will talk about what she mentioned at the hospital the other day?
"Alright, Ma'am," I replied weakly. Despite that, I can't waste time dwelling on the worst possibilities I might face. I have to quickly tidy up my things and grab my laptop. I double-checked the contents of my bag to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. Then I put on high heels. I'm sure Krystal will be meeting with a client somewhere in a building.
"Ready, Anya?"
I jump in surprise to find Krystal already standing in front of my desk.
"Yes, Ma'am."
I submit.
***