Chapter 89: The mother
"...her name is Merri..." Panashe told her. "Merrigold, and her brother is James. I do not know much about them but I've only met Merrigold. She is nice."
Jenny only nodded. Having already given up, she had no expectations not for today or for tomorrow or the days to come. When she had been informed of being purchased, she had wondered why? She was of no monetary worth. Not with her looks having faded and her skin withered with old age. Eyes slowing sinking in from hard days work. Her hands covered in blisters. Her body with scars, some healing some very old, some fading. Panashe could tell that Merrigold's mother was once upon a time a very beautiful woman in her days. Merrigold clearly resembled so much of her mother's good looks. From the shape of her face and the prominent doll face. The woman was as under weight as a rail, twiggy slender and malnourished but still managed to maintain her hourglass figure.
"Do they treat her good?" The woman finally spoke up. She had not felt comfortable enough. Trying to beware of her surroundings. She did not want to trust them so soon. The white man who had a black mistress residing in the house. Something seemed off to Jenny. She had never seen such, even the white man's mother treated the black woman fondly. The two even had a son who ran around a few times, he was a well mannered boy but something did not sit well with Jenny. Why were they so kind, nice and... it was suspicious. Did they really have her daughter? It was hard to believe. Quite questionable. No one was kind unless they benefited off it. Did they really know her daughter? Jenny shook her thoughts away, which daughter? She had as many children as eleven all taken away and put up for sale. At this point she could not remember. Could this Merri be one of them? Was there a time where she was not pregnant in her miserable lifetime. It was harsh terms to get accustomed to. Still skeptical, Jenny tried her best to be pleasant in their beautiful home. She had not eaten in days, water.... oh that tasty toothsome water. Just a dewdrop was good enough to awaken her whole lifeless eyes. That's all she had kept asking for... water water and more water. Food was a luxury but water was a heavenly need.
Panashe only gave the woman a smile. "I suppose I can not be one to speak for her."
"She must hate me for bringing her into this wrathful world..." Jenny mumbled.
"I'm very doubtful."
"Do they treat you good?"
Panashe nodded. "Yes.... I suppose but it hasn't always been that way. I know it could be worse. I'm only grateful."
Jenny smiled, letting her guard down a bit. She drank her water, bony fingers still jittery, looked around the pleasantly big dining room. Eyeing the new clothes, lady Martha and Panashe had gifted her with. Fortunately Lady Martha had to leave for her Thursday reading brunch with her other gray-haired friends.
"I've had eleven... if I'm not mistaken." She voiced. "All taken away from me."
Panashe's eyes threatened to water. The sympathy she felt for Jenny was beyond anything imaginable. Her heart sinked, thinking of any possibility that her son Christian could have been taken away from her. Never seeing him again, watching him grow... it hurt her. Not wanting to pry, Panashe only nodded. "I'm very sorry to hear that."
Jenny have her a smile. "I pray for them every single night." She said almost as a whisper. "...wherever they're..."
"I can only hope that your prayers are heard."
"Hopefully."
There was awkward silence before she spoke again. "I've been with them all and seen it all. The white, the fair skinned, the barbaric..."
Panashe nodded not having it in her to look at this woman and not feel emotional. She had clearly been through so much horror. Her sunken eyes told a story. How she had managed to hold on and live for this long was a miracle.
"My first Master was Mr Jones, he owned a hostel with many of us girls. We got many visits, as many as three or four a day." She reminisced. "Is Merrigold black like you and I?"
"Yes, I assume." Panashe muttered a bit unsure. Merrigold was as dark as could be but her hair said otherwise.
"Forgive me, I'm only trying to recall which one she could have been."
"Of course." Panashe gave her a subtle smile trying not to see judgmental.
"How old is she?"
"In her twenties, I would be lying if I had to be specific."
Jenny chuckled, ending it with a loud sigh. "I can only hope she is twenty-five..."
"Why?" Panashe asked.
Jenny looked away, a smile tucked on her lips. "Of all the children taken away from me... there was one, I shared with someone very special."
"I can only imagine..."
"His name was Aleeki but Master Jones called him Alexander being the prideful maniac he was; always wanted to rename everyone to his liking. Aleeki helped with the garden here and there out in the yard, he was Master Jones errand boy. He was from Somaliland so he said and also a compulsive liar but I'd like to take his word judging from his hair texture and appearance as a whole. He was such a liar. That I will never forget. I have a scarce memory of the past but I promised myself I'd never forget that part. It was the happiest, I'd ever been in my entire life. He fathered one of my children... before he ran off to the next for better opportunities." Wiping a few tears away. "I will never forget the morning he left with no goodbye. Master Jones had woken us all with a ruckus. Giving each and everyone eight whiplashes until we revealed Aleeki's where about's... none of us knew." With a sigh. "I never saw him again. He never cared. He lied, he never cared to stay for me. He knew, I was with child but assumed it was one of the many men who came to visit me each at the hostel. The least he could have done was run away with me. Everything would have been different, I was willing to risk it all. I could have raised Merri if she is my daughter, else where. It would be hard but anything better than the hostel."
"How awful..." Panashe comforted her. "Do you assume Merri could be Aleeki's daughter?"
"That was years, I'm not good with numbers either... forgive me. I'd assume if she has lengthy soft curls and dark smooth skin; she is Aleeki's daughter."
"Well you will be able to found out today..."
"I can only hope she doesn't resent me. Overall, I've had more white men father most of my kids than black men."
"She wouldn't, she will be so delighted to meet you."
"I can only pray, I'm already nervous as it is. Uh...you mentioned my having a son? Her older brother?"
"Yes, William tells me his name is James."
"James..." Jenny smiled. "I never had the privilege of naming any of them. Master Jones would wrap them up and take them away... I'd never see them again."
"What an evil vile man..."
"He sure was... he fathered four of my eleven children if I'm not mistaken."
Panashe was at a loss for words.
"What was your life like before Master Jones?"
"I wouldn't know, Master Jones is all I've ever known."
Panashe was astounded. There were no words she could ever mutter to assure and comfort this woman.
"How is Merrigold's living conditions?" Jenny asked.
"She recently gave birth." Panashe announced. "To twins, we will all visit them today."
"Oh goodness... please tell me it isn't a white man's offspring..? I'd be gutted to know my daughter has had no different life than mine back at the hostel. I loathe them so so much—" Jenny broke into tears. "I hate those white men, I hate them with my life. So many times, I tried to kill Master Jones... it would kill me to know my daughter has been through the very same horror... I hate them so much. I could never bare the sight of them."
"I'm afraid... they're... I'm sorry..."
Jenny sniffled, she could not help it. "I'd assume it would have been best if you never searched for me. It would have been best if I did not know them. It's so hard, so hard to know that this was all my doing."
"It's not... you had no control over anything..."
"I'm not a mother, I could never be a mother."
"But you're, Merri and James have been yearning to know you their entire lives."
"Oh my dear lord, this is all too much for me. Who is that bastard that impregnated my daughter, I do not want to see his face. I will only be barbaric with anger."
Panashe was silent. "Uh...he is the same young man that purchased you..."
"Oh..."
"His name is Austin." Panashe did not want to say much. It wouldn't be right if she spoiled everything. It was only right if Merrigold told her mother herself how everything came about. From the horrid incidences of loss and molestation to what it was now. Even Panashe was confused but it seemed only Merri and Austin knew what they had between them and no other person outside the relation could understand.
Jenny only nodded and drank her water. Something told Panashe, Merrigold's mother was upset and not pleased at all.