Irene was slowly getting used to spending time in the water kingdoms. She was still fascinated by many things and she had gotten to know a few people. All of them nice and welcoming. There was a particular water demon, Dorota, whom she had become friends with. She had never had female friends before, so this feeling was new to her.
Dorota was almost two hundred years old and a beautiful lady, inside and out. Her green hair was wavy and her eyes changed color, like every other water demon. She was elegant, smart and funny and already after their first meeting they got along really well.
Dorota showed her around the kingdom and introduced her to more people. Seeing all the women being friends and their children and grandchildren being friends made her feel envious and realize what she missed in life.
She was married off at a young age, separated from her family to be with a man who didn't care much for her. Then she met Lothaire, who fed her lies and isolated her even more. He never introduced her to other people, except for Roshan and Enoch, and he never took her places where she could meet people. She wished that she had taken that step herself, but her main focus had been to get her son back. And being both witch and demon, she didn't know who to befriend. Who would accept her? Where would she go? She felt like she belonged nowhere.
The only safe place for her to be was with Lothaire, and she hadn't been unhappy about it because she didn't know anything better.
Now she saw a community with families. People who have known each other since childhood, grew up together, spend time together sharing their happiness and worries. It was a beautiful thing to witness.
How come she never had a friend? She surrounded herself with plants and animals instead, when she wasn't with her family. She had no other purpose or hobby besides being a mother and a grandmother. What was her identity?
What did she like or dislike? What were her goals and dreams?
Talking to Euphorion made her realize that everything she did or said was always about her family. She knew what everyone liked to eat or do, or what they wanted to be, but she didn't know those things about herself. When she used to be alone, she would always think about her son, and when she got her son, she would always think about Lothaire. She never took time to just think about herself.
"You know… every time I ask you a question, the reply has to be something about your family." He told her one day.
"What is wrong with that?" she asked defensively.
He shook his head with a slight smile. "Nothing. I just want to know about you."
She was a grandmother. If she aged normally, that would show. What life did she have left to live and this man wouldn't have been looking at her if she looked like her true age. But then again, at his age, he would have been dead a very long time ago.
"There is nothing much to know about me," she said, noticing that sometimes he was interested in her and other times not.
It was consistent, so she thought maybe he was like that as a person. She hoped so, at least because she wasn't interested in him.
Another demon, an ancient one at that she didn't want to get involved with. She didn't need any man in her life. Euphorion was a good company, and she wanted it to remain that way until she got back home.
"I know nothing about having a family or being part of it. But loving yourself is part of being happy." He told her.
He mostly joked around and made her laugh, but whenever he said something serious, it stuck with her. Spending time with him made her find joy and herself. She took time to reflect and find happiness within herself.
Tonight she sat with him again in his roofless parlour. Because it was colder under the ocean, he made a fireplace and put on fire just for her and then they chatted about everything. Irene felt strangely comfortable with him, despite fighting it. She didn't want to trust someone again and get her heart broken. Making friends here made her both happy and worried.
But there was something about Euphorion that was so sincere. She could tell he spoke his mind. There was no filter between his mouth and brain. Whatever came to mind left his mouth. It was both funny and comforting.
They could sit and talk all night. Time with him passed by quickly. Irene couldn't remember just sitting and talking for hours with Lothaire or him, making her laugh so much.
Yes, they would have intense, passionate nights. He would give her anything she asked for, he would look out for her and protect her, but she couldn't remember just talking to him for hours about anything, or going on an adventure with him. They could have easily traveled around the world, but he didn't even show her the whole of Decresh.
Meanwhile, she was here she went on a tour around the ocean and visited every corner of the water kingdom.
She really hated making this comparison because she didn't want to think of Lothaire, but it became part of her reflection. To her, Lothaire became everything because he came at a vulnerable time in her life where no one showed her love or care except for him. She only had worse people to compare him to, so in her eyes he became the good one.
Now her days of being stupid and vulnerable came to an end. She felt more confident in herself than ever. Now it was time for her to go back home.
Euphorion had already told her he was only keeping her for safety's sake, but believed there wasn't much to worry about. If she wanted to go home, he thought she could.
Sometimes it looked like he was sad to send her away, and sometimes it felt like he just wanted to get rid of her. Again the confusingly contrasting emotions.
Getting to know herself during her stay in the water kingdom made her recognize the emotions in his eyes. It was like her own. She recognized the fear in his fascinating eyes, and she guessed that's why he distanced himself from her sometimes.
Everyone seemed to be close in the water kingdom, but he liked to be alone. You would think someone who has lived as long as him would have a family and many friends by now, but he didn't. He was alone, but unlike her he didn't seem lonely, and he taught her to like her own company.
"I think it is time for me to go back home." She told him.