"Your mind is a battlefield. Be its commander, not its soldier."
*********************
Irene kept staring and studying the mark in disbelief. "It doesn't look like a new mark." She said.
"No, it is not. It looks exactly like the previous mark. Almost as if it reappeared again." Zamiel explained. "And the urge to renew the mark has disappeared."
Irene was thoughtful for a while. "I have never heard of anything like this before." She finally spoke.
"Neither did I." He said.
He never heard of anything like this in the demon world before, that is why he came to her. Maybe being a witch, she knew something that he didn't.
"You are wondering if this has anything to do with the witch," she began, referring to Razia. "but I don't think so. There is nothing a witch or a spell could do to play with a sacred bond. I think this is more a force of nature."
Heaven and Zamiel looked at each other, then listened carefully to what Irene had to say.
"I know that to resist the urge long enough for it to disappear and the bond to break, there must be a stronger urge for something else. But in your case, when the urge disappeared, instead for the bond to break it renewed itself. Which leads me to think that the other urge that was stronger than the one to bite her is critical to why the mark renewed itself. Do you know why you decided to wait?"
There were many reasons to why he wanted to wait. He wanted the mark to mean something since the first time had been an unpleasant experience for both. He wanted Heaven to want the mark for other reasons than to ease his pain, but most of all he wanted to protect her from himself.
His mind was a dark place, with many dark memories. The bond would allow Heaven to see his memories and feel his emotions. He wanted to heal first before putting all that on her. She deserved better. But just when he was healing and moving forward, learning to live and be happy, her grandfather came back to remind her of his pain. Day after day he reminded him of his failure.
How was he supposed to heal when someone kept poking his wounds?
"Because I want to protect Heaven's happiness." He said.
Irene smiled and nodded as if it was the answer she expected. "And that is how the marking began. A mate's strongest urge is to protect his female, and that is why he marks her. The bond allows you to know when your mate is in danger. Your case is unique. You chose to protect her by not marking her, which is the root to why marking exists. So the mark renewed itself." She explained. "My mother taught me that you can't fight nature. It will either reward you or punish you."
Zamiel studied her for a while, not knowing what to say or believe.
"I am saying the nature is rewarding you for your selfless act." She told him.
Rewarding him? How was nature rewarding him?
First, he was forced by a spell to mate with Heaven against his will, and now nature forced a bond on him against his will. It wasn't that he didn't want to be bonded to Heaven. He just wanted to do it at the right time and now with him suffering even more she would see all those horrible images in his mind.
Irene noticed that he wasn't excited about it. "Nature is all about balance. When balance is lost, destruction follows. You were torturing yourself too much in order to protect someone else. When you destroy yourself, you can protect no one. This is nature helping you find a balance. You can't punish yourself for not being able to protect your loved ones."
The last sentence woke him up. How?
How did she know his deepest, darkest feelings that he didn't even admit to himself yet? The fear of being unable to protect, the fear of being someone's mate when being a mate meant being a protector, which he failed to be.
Yes. It was about him. No matter how many times he told himself he was worthy of being someone's mate, a voice inside him kept telling him he was unworthy. He was bad luck.
Suddenly he felt Heaven take his hand.
"Zamiel." She looked at him worriedly. "Are you alright? You look pale."
He squeezed her hand. "I am fine." He assured.
He looked at Irene, and she stared back at him. She was right. Nature was rewarding him because he was deserving. He deserved to be happy and find balance and peace. Nature gave him a second chance. Nature gave him Heaven and now bonded him to her. A bond stronger than any bond. That had to mean something. If nature believed in him and Heaven believed in him, it was time to believe in himself.
"I am more than fine. I am happy." He told her and he was.
Now he would not fight himself anymore. He would be with this wonderful woman without feeling worthless. She was a clever woman. If he was her choice, he could not be bad.
"I am happy too." She smiled.
Now they only had to get her grandfather out of the way.
Zamiel turned to Irene. "I brought Heaven here to tell her about the nightmares. She is having them too."
"Mother." Suddenly Heaven interrupted them and stood up when her mother came to the garden.
"Heaven." Her mother smiled, and Heaven went to hug her. "Oh darling, you look so tired. Did you eat? Did you sleep?"
"Mother, I am fine." Heaven assured her with a smile. "I feel better than ever. How are you?"
"I am fine, love." She said and then her gaze went to Zamiel, who already stood up to greet her.
"Your Majesty." He bowed.
Her mother suspected immediately that something was going on. She walked to the table, greeted him and then they sat down.
"What is happening?" She asked.