As I was convincing myself to stay in the present situation and not to get lost in my dreamland where I would imagine that if I said yes to Charles for the question which he asked, he would tell me that he loved me. No matter how badly I wanted to be that girl who he started to love, I needed to be in touch with reality where I stood no chance to be with him in any more way than we were at that time.
So, I quickly answered that question which he asked me in the way that I felt right because if I was not getting my love, it didn’t mean he should also not get his. It would have been very bad of me if I had come in between a couple who wanted to be together.
Deep inside I was thinking about the girl who was going to get very, very lucky with Charles telling her that he loved her. Little something in me had reservations if the girl had the same feelings for him because if she did not, then I would still stand a chance.
“You should definitely open up to her about your feelings,” I answered while giving him not a very broad smile but still broader than my natural smile, and he smiled back at me. It was tough for me to say something which I did not actually mean and that also to the man I was hoping to have babies with in life someday.
Once we reached home, we hugged each other before we went to our rooms. The hug that day felt something different. The way he hugged me, he had his open palms touching almost all of my back, and they stayed for a much longer time. Also, the pressure he hugged me with was more than all the times he had done before. It felt to me as if he was covering himself with his forehead placed on my shoulder when he usually stood straight and hugged me.
So, I slid both my hands to his upper back from his waist where they were actually. I stroked his back to comfort him. And he felt emotional to me, and I had never seen him in such a state. It just made me want to make sure that he was okay. Hence, I asked, "Are you fine?"
"I have never talked about my school crush. I still feel bad for her," he said.
“The worst is that I knew all about that guy, and I didn’t tell her about him because I wanted them to break up, which would have given me the opportunity to give her my shoulder to cry on,” he added and his voice sounded as if he would start crying any moment.
I held his hand and led him up the stairs. When we reached the first floor, I took him to my room because I had not seen him cry for all those months, and I thought he wouldn’t want his servants to see him like the way he was after drinking quite a lot at the restaurant. It was not that I had never seen him tipsy, I had, but not to that extent.
As soon as we entered the room, Charles straight away went to sit on the bed as if it was he who slept in it. I pulled up a chair to sit near him because sitting on the bed didn't feel right. So, I sat on the chair instead. He looked at me as if he was expecting me to sit on the bed with him, and I didn’t know what to do.
Of course, I wanted to sit on the bed with him, maybe with our bodies touching each other because of the way that I felt for him. But I didn’t want to take undue advantage of the situation just because he was drunk and wouldn’t have realized that I wasn’t the girl whom he loved.
That was another reason for me to hold myself from getting too close to him. It had been only a couple of hours since he told me that he had started loving some girl. And it would have been very wrong of me to ignore that to do what I wanted to do with him.
In the time that I was thinking all of those things, I remember, he came a little forward towards me from where he was sitting and pulled me on the bed by holding my hand with a firm grip. An innocent smile captured my face because that was exactly what I wanted from him, and alcohol would take be blamed, but my wish came true.
As I got myself to sit comfortably on the bed, it felt to me as if all the time was wasted when Charles pulled me one more time. It was difficult for me to move, and that made me fall on him. To straighten back up, at the moment that I looked up, his face was right above mine.
Even though there was a distance between our faces and mine was below his, but the way he looked at me told me that there was a high possibility of me getting lucky that night. It would be a lie if I said that I didn’t want it to happen because I wished for it ever since the day that I met him, but something in me told me that it wasn’t the right thing to do.
So, I quickly looked back down and straightened my back to sit straight on the bed. His eyes were fixed at mine, and in my head I was thinking about the girl who he had started loving. I so wanted to be that girl only to lick his entire body; he looked irresistible and shit hot in the formals that he was wearing since morning.
His shirt had tucked out from one side, and his hair was messy despite the hair gel which he had put on in the morning, his eyes were hungry for more, and all those things made me give him a desperately look. That is when it took him no time to ask, “Olive, do you love me?”