Erin was fast asleep when the wave hit her. Pain, jagged like broken glass, sliced through her head. She was having one of those dreamlike visions and this time was more unpleasant than the last time.
The only thing she was thankful of was her brother not being in danger this time around.
What is happening? Where am i? She whispered silently to herself. She gasped as the wave hit her again. This time harder than the last time.
Erin buckled into herself with a whimper as a screaming sound pounded against her ears. She convulsed, then opened her eyes as the ache behind them lessened. That steady current of sound wasn’t screaming at all. It was the wind.
Looking down, she had to be a mile above the ground. She wanted to gasp, wanted to panic. Wanted to scream, but she couldn’t do anything other than observe.
This was a dream. One of those nightmares that felt so real, like the ones Grandma used to have. A wave of sorrow washed over her as she thought about how fast the insanity was happening. She’d wanted to experience the joy of being loved, having her own child, her own family before she went. She wanted to raise a child before the end of her life. Before the end of her clarity. Selfish.
She couldn’t speak and couldn’t move, but beside her, something enormous beat the air currents. Wings the color of fire flapped on either side of her, and when she looked down, four giant red claws were tucked close to her cream-colored belly scales.
She was a dragon.
Below, rocky crags and wilderness stretched as far as she could see. There weren’t homes or farmland or landing strips. The world was just…empty.
A deafening roar sounded from her throat as she tucked her wings and dove for the trees. Faster and faster she fell, and just as she thought she would hit the ground, a clicking sounded in her throat and she opened her mouth, releasing hellfire onto a clearing. She scooped up the burning ash, swallowed it down, and immediately she felt energized. Flapping her wings, she angled herself toward the setting sun and pushed her body harder, faster. The sense of urgency never left until she stretched her claws out and lowered herself to the ledge of a cliff face.
He was there waiting, her Julian, but his face was haggard. His eyes were dull and the color of pitch, tired and worried, and he looked as though he hadn’t slept in days.
“What are you doing here?” he asked in that strange language.
Her claws hit the rock, and she shattered inward, shrinking until she was on two bare feet again. Agony ripped at her heart because she was about to break his.
“I had to see you one last time.”
“One last time? What are you talking about?”
“Jul, he knows. Your father knows about us, and he’s threatened to never rest until you and all of your clan are charred and dead.”
“Chlorine, how did he find out about us?” His voice cracked with power as he glared at her.
“Because I uttered your name,” she admitted, cheeks burning with shame.
He’d told her once, “I’ll love you always.”
She’d told him then, and she meant it, “You won’t. You can’t. You love me now only because you haven’t seen the monster I am yet.” Now he would see her for how weak she really was.
“You uttered my name?” he said low, suspicion filling his eyes and sparking them to the bright silver color she was used to. “When, Chlorine?”
“When I was with him.”
Julian shook his head and backed away a step, and then another, the betrayal in his eyes like a lash against her soul.
“I’ve been his all along. It wasn’t my choice. Your mother she—”
“No.”
“Listen to me, please,” she said, sobbing as warm tears trailed down her face. Monster, monster, monster. “I didn’t choose him, Julian. You have to believe me.”
“Yet you’ve visited my bed all this time. You’ve endangered my people. You’ve endangered me!”
“I am a Blackwing! What can I do other than to obey The king’s rule?”
“You’re a fucking fire-breather, Chlorine! A powerful seer and a fire-breather. Stronger than any warlock on this earth even the king who is my fucking father!you know this and you can’t convince me that the choice wasn’t yours. You aren’t some weak female.”
“I’m pregnant!”
Julian drew back as if he’d been slapped. His face crumpled, and he shook his head in denial. “No, Chloe. No. You have another century before you’re ready to bear offspring. You’re too young.”
“It’s early still, but I’ll have to stop Changing soon to protect my offspring. I’m pregnant, Julian, and I don’t know if my eggs belong to you or to…”
“My farher,” he gritted out, eyes blazing. “Jesus. I could be having a son or younger brother and i don’t even know yet. Chloe...Did my father force you? Did he force you?!!”
Her voice was nothing but a whispered admission of how utterly she’d failed and betrayed him. “No.” She wished her answer was different, but she was the vilest of monsters. “I came to tell you goodbye. It isn’t safe to see you anymore. The king steadily watches me now, and I don’t want him finding you or your people.” She wiped her damp cheeks with the back of her hand and tried to hide the depth of her heartbreak. She’d failed her people and herself, but worst of all, she’d failed Julian. He was too good, too caring. He’d fought for hundreds of years to keep his people safe, but the mighty Julian Ferrari, ruler of the Bloodrunners, had fallen for someone beneath him. He’d fallen for her. And so out of the malice his father had for him, he’d set out to take the one thing Julian had all to himself. The love of his life.
“Was it all a lie?” he asked, voice bleak.
“No. I love you. If I’d had a choice, it would’ve been you.”
Disgusted, he closed his eyes and angled his face away from her. “I never want to see you again.”
His words cut through her middle, and she cried out in pain. She wished she could die now. She wished her death wasn’t meant for when she would bear offspring she would never see hatch. She wished she could jump off these cliffs and end her suffering. He would be better off if she’d never existed, but that wasn’t her fate. Her fate was to fly away from the man she loved and endure the continuing wrath of a mate who had many conquests just like her.
“What if the eggs are yours?”
Julian slid her a dangerous glare. “You’re one of the mates of my father, Chlorine. Do you think he would let me take offspring from him? You’ve taken my chance at fathering young with you, no matter if they’re mine or not. Your eggs and your death will help build That bastard’s army.”
“Julian,” she said in a broken whisper, tears dripping from her cheeks.
“Leave.” He wouldn’t look at her anymore, and the muscles in his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth harder. “I said leave!”
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, then turned and jumped from the cliff. For a moment, she spread her arms and let the wind catch her, but the rocks below wouldn’t kill her. Her skin was hard as stone. She Changed and spread her wings at the last moment, then flew away from Julian without a single look behind her.
She couldn’t stomach seeing the betrayal etched into his beautiful face again.
I’ll love you always.
You won’t.
You can’t.
****
The remnants of that awful dream and the headache that had come along with it had Erin stumbling down the hallway. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep in Julian's lair, but she’d woken all alone and cold to the drip drip of water falling from the stone wall.
The dream had broken her heart.
“Chlorine,” Dream Julian had called her. It was the same name he had uttered the first time she’d met Julian. The hallways were dark, even when she reached the pristine white marble ones, but Erin knew where he was. She was drawn to him, as if they were tethered with an invisible string. She turned this way and that in a haze until she reached the top of an old stone spiraling staircase that led down to oblivion for all she knew. There was the soft glow of candlelight, or perhaps torchlight, below, and there he waited for her.
The rounded stone wall was cold and unforgiving under her palm as she descended the stairs. When she finally reached the bottom, she froze, unable to comprehend what was before her.
Julian was on his knees in the middle of a cavernous room, staring at a collage of painted canvases, stacked in layers of disarray and covered heavily with dust. Every painting was of the same subject.
Her. Erin struggled to understand her sight but couldn’t. It was hard to.
***