Erin smiled as she gazed at the beautiful man in front of her. Julian Ferrari. A vampire, a dragon, a warlock all in one person.
How did she get so lucky to be with this amazon of a man?? She was so so lucky. “I want pancakes,” Erin said with a wide smile. “I want to be able to tell everyone I was fed by a Vampire slash Dragon warlock.”
“As opposed to being fed willingly to a Vampire slash Dragon warlock?” Julian asked with a deep chuckle that reverberated under her cheek. He was lying comfortably on his back, tugging at her wild curls as she rested her face against his chest. She was actually getting used to Julian's heat now, and even the darkness of his lair. It was nice in here, sequestered away from the rest of the world. It could be burning to the ground for all she knew, but in here, she was safe and warm and Julian's.
She traced his uneven skin around a darker scar. “What happened to you?”
His nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply. “It’s nothing. Just some wound from years ago. Don’t ask me about it because i do not have the ability to recall. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”
He eased out from under her and off the bed, then sauntered to a single door she hadn’t noticed before. When he turned on the light inside the room, she could see rows of suits and clean-pressed shirts lined up. As he began to dress, she pulled the covers over her body to make up for Julian's lost warmth.
War. Something about his flippant response niggled at her mind, as if a memory was clicking into place that she didn’t understand or realize quite yet. Unsettled, she watched him stride toward the door as he buttoned up a starched, white shirt over dark gray dress pants. Damn, the man could wear a suit, but his passive mask was secured back onto his face. She hated seeing the look of indifference after the last hour they’d shared.
“Julian?”
He turned at the door, but hesitated to meet her eyes. She wanted to tell him how much being with him here had meant to her. She wanted to tell him how hard she was falling for him, and how much she appreciated him letting her in, even if it was just for a little while. His dead gaze made her cowardly though, so instead, she murmured, “You have a file on me. Can I see it?”
“Why?” he asked, not even bothering to deny it.
She gathered the pillow more securely under her head and admitted, “I’m curious about what information you’ll have about me. You seem so interested in me, yet distant. I’m starting to wonder if you need me for something particularly.”
Seconds of silence ticked on between them before Julian dipped his chin once. “As you wish. But Erin, you’re here only because i want you to be here. Not for any other reason.”
After he left, Erin debated getting dressed, but decided against it. She’d been comfortable in her own skin with him and wanted that feeling back. He’d seemed completely content to lie with her for hours until she’d asked him about his past. About his scars. He might have let her in a little, but Julian was far from an open book and would likely always be that way. Something about that made her chest ache.
He wasn’t gone more than ten minutes and returned with a tray stacked high with food and a beige file dangling from his hand. He kicked the door closed behind him and set his wares on the bed.
“Will you undress again?” she asked, as he hesitated by the bedside.
He shook his head slowly and sat on the edge of the mattress, his now dark gaze on her.
“Is it because I asked about your scars?”
A single nod, and then he stared off at the door as if he wanted to escape her. “It’s best not to scratch at me, Dangerous Erin Those ghosts you are able to see so easily are better left alone.”
Erin looked around the room at the mention of them, but it was only her and Julian here now. “I’m sorry.”
Julian looked troubled, but rewarded her with unbuttoning his shirt and yanking the material off his shoulders. The pants stayed in place, but at least she had access to his warm torso again as he settled against the headboard beside her. Tray between them, they ate in silence, and when she’d had her fill, she pulled the file into her lap.
Julian picked up a remote from the end table near the bed and pushed a button that lifted one of the blackout panels. She gasped at the view. His room was overlooking the beautiful evergreen forest. Blinking hard at what a turn her life had taken in the last few days, she squinted against the saturated sunlight filtering through the wall-to-ceiling window.
She read her file out loud. “Erin Dexter. Birthdate, ten twenty of nineteen ninety-eight. Powder lineage…” her voice trailed off.
“Read on.”
“Powder witch lineage began six generations ago.” She hadn’t even known when her family had gone bear shifter. “Green eyes, red hair, five-foot-five, curvy figure.” Here someone had scribbled, this one feels important. She looked at Julian and quirked her eyebrows.
He shook his head and muttered, “That is Seb’s writing.”
Huh. She continued. “One red-headed female born to each generation. Dominant powder witch and shifter. Alpha of the Red Claws. Lost…” Her voice faded to nothing. She shouldn’t have asked to see this. It was nothing she didn’t already know. She’d lived it. Barely survived this part, in fact. Her voice shook as she read on. “Lost her parents Charles Dexter and Sarah Myer, to an explosion on an offshore drilling rig. Didn’t recover.” She huffed a sad and humorless laugh. Didn’t recover. Her or her crew? Didn’t matter. It was true on both accounts.
“Why didn’t you find another crew?” Julian asked low. He wouldn’t look at her anymore. His attention was on a loose thread on the comforter that he wrapped around and around his finger.
Julian lifted one shoulder in a helpless shrug. “I just couldn’t risk losing anyone like that again.”
“Because you were afraid to lose them?”
Her lip trembled, and her vision blurred with tears. Blinking hard, she nodded her head. She couldn’t trust her words right now. She couldn’t trust her words about her crew ever. Burying them had broken all the good things she’d liked about herself. She’d lived a half-life ever since. Her choice.
“Is the hole they left why you want a child?”
“No,” she rasped through a tightening throat. “We wanted a new sibling before my dad and mom died. They tried and tried. We had all these plans. We didn’t even want to know who the father was between the two of them because we would all be a family, raising our cub, and it wouldn’t matter. And then when I…” Her voice broke, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “When I got the call about the accident, all of our dreams of having a family were gone. Just,”—she snapped her fingers—“gone like that. Everything was gone. And after a few years of living this empty, lonely life, I wanted to feel again. I wanted to love someone, but in a safe way, you know? I wanted to be a mother as badly as I ever had, but I’d missed out on bonding to another male after I lost my mom and dad. So I tried the doctor’s way until my savings ran out. Pretty pathetic, huh?”
Julian sighed and draped his arm over her shoulders, then pulled her tight against his side. Turning his head, he rested his chin on top of her hair. “I would’ve done the same thing.”
Erin's shoulders sagged, and a sob worked its way up her throat. “It feels good to say all that out loud and not carry it alone anymore.”
“Dangerous Erin,” he said softly.
He’d called her that several times now, and she winced against the moniker. She wanted to tell him he was wrong, and that she wasn’t dangerous to him at all. She wanted to tell him to stop calling her that and go back to calling her love as he had earlier. She wanted to tell him he was wrong about her, and that she would never hurt him, but when she opened her mouth to explain all of this, the words stuck in her throat. Why? Because she suddenly understood him.
I would’ve done the same thing, he’d said.
He had done the same thing.
Something in his past had brought him to his knees and made it easy for him to shut down his emotions. To turn his face into a lineless, emotionless mask.
He didn’t want her talking about his past or breaking down his walls, and she understood his hesitation. She was terrified of him for the same reasons.
The life of a fearful young girl had clashed with that of a stone-cold vampire-dragon, and somehow along the way, they’d become one in the same.
He could call her “Dangerous Erin” all he wanted to. Because now, she’d opened up her heart to him and given him the ability to hurt her.
Now, he was the most Dangerous Julian. Vampire dragon warlock who could turn her insides into mush if he so wished.
*****