“Earth to Katherine. Earth to Katherine” I turned to see Asher smiling. “Sorry, what?” I replied looking confused. “I have called you about three times, you seemed lost in a world of your own” He said.
“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking” I replied.
“Well, penny for your thoughts?” he asked.
“I doubt they are worth that much” I said.
“Really? Well, if you ask me, I would say anything that’s got you so spaced out must be worth quite a lot” Asher replied smiling.
“Yeah right” I said smiling back at him. “It’s nothing, really” I said.
“If you say so” he replied still smiling.
We chatted for a while about a few things. He told me about his job and his family. Turns out, he owns a chain of hotels and bars in about six countries.
“Wow. Handsome and a business tycoon” I thought.
The conversation in the living room flowed for about an hour more, before Devon announced that he had to leave if he was going to make it back to New York on time.
We all said goodbye as he and Katy walked outside to say their goodbyes. Asher excused himself and went upstairs with Kaden and Ian to unpack and shower. Haley soon went up too and I was left alone with Paige.
She struck up a conversation asking me how studies were going. We talked for quite some time before Katy came back in, and Paige followed her upstairs to discuss the bridesmaids dresses.
When they left, I turned on the TV and laid back on the couch to watch Friends, I was on the 4th season. I have finished the entire show twice, but I love the TV show so much that I usually joke about watching it even when I am old and grey.
I watched Friends till it was time for dinner and everyone came back down to deliberate on what we would have. After about a thirty minutes of debating, we all decided it was pizza. I really wanted to take a walk, so I offered to go pick them up. But, surprisingly Paige offered to go with me saying she would like to get out of the house for a while and get some fresh air. I could not say no.
We agreed to walk there rather than take my car since the pizza place was just down the road. We had just left the house when Paige asked “Why don’t you share beds?”.
That question stopped me in my tracks as it always struck a nerve whenever it was asked. “Umm, nothing. I just prefer to sleep on the floor” I replied.
“Yeah right” she said. I did not reply her.
“Sure, you can give everyone else that answer and they will accept it. But, I know there's more to it.” She said
“I understand that you hardly know me, but you can tell me anything. Trust me, I will understand.” She continued.
“Understand what? What do you mean?” I asked confused.
She glanced at me for a second before she said “I know no one just decides that they don’t like to share beds. And your sister never said anything about it, and believe me, she talks about you a lot. So, I doubt it’s an illness or even a condition or else she would have told us. So, I’m guessing something must have happened to you to make you decide not to share beds.”
“So, do you mind telling me what happened?” she asked.
I was taken aback No one had ever asked me that question. Well, at least, like that. Never had that question been asked in such a concerned and caring manner.
Sure, my sister had asked this question, but in such an accusing tone that I made up my mind never to tell anyone what had happened. Actually, the day I decided never to share my problems with anyone was that day, and since then, a lot has happened, but I never told anyone anything, I just worked through them all by myself. The truth is, I am very proud of how far I have come, very proud that I am still living, because to tell you the truth, I have contemplated suicide more than once. It’s not something I am proud of, but I have a lot to be proud of.
What she said to me caused the memories I had pushed to the back of my mind to start resurfacing. It all came rushing back, the memories started flashing by in my head. The pain, the screams, the face, the dread, the fear, they all flashed right before my eyes.
I blinked a few times before I regained my composure. Thankfully, we had just arrived at the pizza place. I cleared my throat and said “We are here”. I pulled the handle on the door and walked in, then held it open for her to come through. “Thanks” she said.
We went up to the counter to place our order. We all had already decided on what we were having, so I just recited our order, “One large meat lover's pizza with extra cheese, and one large margherita pizza, well done, and please, hold the onions on both.”
“Got it. You can go sit we will call you up when it’s ready.” The cashier said after I had swiped my card.
We walked over to a booth by the window and sat there.
After about a minute, Paige turned to me and said, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“If you don’t want to, I will understand. Although, I know that talking about it will make you feel better, and I am speaking from experience.” she continued.
“I might not be able to offer a solution or make it better, but that will be one less thing on your mind once you get it off your chest. Trust me”. She finished.
I kept mute, I did not even look at her, I just kept staring out the window. I have never told anyone what happened on that day, I have kept it in for so long. I didn’t think I could share it with anyone, so I didn’t say a word.
But, then again, I was having this sudden urge to tell her, to open up to her. But, I stuck to my close mouthed ways.