Whattt!
I don't even realize that I shouted out this word.
I stare at Danner in horror, I can't believe my ears. Did he really just say I want to marry him? God help me, since when did I make him aware of that or at least make him feel like I want him as my husband? Danner clearly sees things flying!
Listen, he is a drop- down gorgeous guy, his sex is heavenly, and, in his arms, I feel safe and at home. I've built my life around him, given him immensely profound privileges in my personal and business life, but that doesn't bind me to anything.
And yes, Danner is definitely husband material, but not for me.
I don't want to marry Danner.
My feelings for him are not deeply enough to consider a marriage with him. Life still has too much to offer me, I'm barely 22, the future has a lot more in store for me. Why should I commit myself to one man when several can make me happy?
Nope, not me. I'll let this cup pass me by.
I am still staring at him open-mouthed, shocked by his statement. "Danner, Danner....", I stutter in a hopeless attempt to refuse him unscathed. Because the last thing I want is to hurt him, especially now that he's confessed his love to me.
I don't love Danner.
But I want to save our agreement, we know each other through and through, we know how to satisfy one another perfectly. "Danner, listen," I try again, "We've known each other for a few years, I don't want you to get hurt. But to me, our relationship as it is now, is so perfect. Any change is a risk that we'll hurt each other and eventually break up. Let's keep it this way please, we are in a good place."
What I wanted to avoid, I now see playing out on his face. I don't think there is a good concept for rejecting a marriage proposal. Pain and disappointment are etched on his face, he continues to stare at me wordlessly.
"Danner, I'm so sorry if I gave you any idea that we're ready for a change, but to be honest, I'm fine with the status we have now."
Still silence.
"Danner, please, I don't want to lose you. You know how important you are to me".
I am now in the humiliating position of begging my longtime boyfriend not to abandon me. My biggest fear, however, is that he will present me with the choice: marriage or break up. That's going to be a tough one, I hope he doesn't think of boxing me in.
His silence is murderous, I can't bear it because I don't know what's going through his head. Come on, did he really think I was wedding-hungry? I never demanded anything from him in all those years, never created any expectation in him.
"Since Dordrich came into your life, you treat me like a second-class escort. You loved me before, you used to talk with me about everything that’s going on in your life, private and business. But the last few days you have closed yourself off from me spiritually, only when you're horny you know where to find me, otherwise not", Danner now comes out furious.
I'm startled.
"Why are you saying that?", I cut him off, not wanting to involve Dordrich in this. "It was you who let me down the last time. And then you shut yourself off from me for two days while I did everything I could to contact you."
My voice sounds almost pleading, I'm bad at arguing.
Danner grabs me by the shoulders off the bed and makes me stand in front of him. His face is twisted with envy. "Is that so, Loraine? Let me tell you then, I saw you and Dordrich in the parking lot kissing as if your life depended on it. You hung on him, lay plastered on him. That's what you always do with me alone. Even those experiments that you had with other men wasn't as emotional as you were with Dordrich."
A deep sigh escapes me, why didn't I think of that when I didn't see him appear and he refused my calls. It was so obvious anyway, he certainly drove up when Dordrich and I were at it. Indeed, we had made no effort to be discreet either. Now I can’t blame him for being angry and wanting more security.
How do I fix this now? Marrying Danner is a no-no option. If I want to keep him, I know I'll have to make some concessions, I'm seriously in the wrong. "Can we talk it out, Danner? Tell me what I can do to make it up to you", I whisper to him in the tone that I know will get him done everything.
Seductively I stroke his muscular body, to his hard buttocks and thighs. His shaft immediately stiffens, and I close it in completely with my hands. With seductive slow movements I spoil him, his breath catches in his throat. I lift my lips to him, and thankfully, he takes them full in his mouth, his hands go around my face.
'The bird has been caught', my head buzzes.
But then he raises his head and looks at me deeply. "Not this time Loraine. You've gone too far, the pain I feel is too deep to wash away with a sex session. I want more".
Oh my God, Danner is negotiating!!
Why is my female enchantment not working now? Danner was always weak to it. "Say it!", I whisper seductively nibbling at his lower lip as my hands continue to work him.
"Marry me!", he demands groaning.
"Exclusive relationship", I virtually throw on the table.
"Engagement", he makes a counteroffer, almost out of breath.
"Expanding our arrangement", I try again, wriggling against him.
"Engagement," he repeats his offer.
I'm racking my brain for alternatives, but I'm running out of options.
"Deal!"