CHAPTER 16
"But that can only be possible if he truly loved you as he claimed. He will never let go of everything just because of a baby when he doesn't love you", I emphasized, wanting to keep the conversation going and she looked at me before nodding with a smile.
I still did not want to agree that her story was worse than mine. "But why will he say he would have let go if you had told him? Must a baby be the only reason to let go of every other thing? Why didn't he let go of that woman if he truly loved you?"
She didn't answer. There was a smug smile on her face. I would see the sadness laced there. I felt bad for digging up the past because it was obvious she was still hurting.
"Who would have known what would have happened if you had told him on time? That would have proved his love for you." Nina uttered.
"I didn't want to tie any man down with my pregnancy." I opposed it.
"That is what you don't get, Daisy. Gone are those days. We all have our lives to live and every decision we make has its consequences which we will suffer alone. If he decides to stick to you because of the pregnancy and not because he loves you, that's his problem, not yours."
"There are times in life when we just have to think of ourselves first. Amar regretted marrying Lakshmi for years. He couldn't bring himself to touch her or have sex with her for years. I, on the other hand, regretted keeping my pregnancy away from him till his wedding night. I had always envisioned our home with Amar. I wanted no man but him. I couldn't bring myself to go out for dates with any other man. I was hoping he would come back but he never did." Nina was talking with passion.
"Sometimes, love doesn't determine who you spend the rest of your life with. Despite the distance, Daisy, our love grew like a flower but it didn't prevail in the end. When Lakshmi gave birth 10 years later, I almost committed suicide. I gave up on living. The sacrifices I had made were all in vain. My father said I was a disgrace when he discovered I was pregnant. He disowned me and I went to live with my mother till she died. I couldn't go back to my writing because I was really ashamed of myself. Two things kept me going, Daisy."
I was watching her and listening attentively. Her eyes were becoming teary. I offered to answer. "Your love for him kept you going."
She nodded. "And my passion for writing. So my question to you is do you love him? Do you miss him despite the anger you feel towards him?"
I began to cry when she asked me that question. "Every fu*king minutes of the day, I think of him. I love the asshole."
She chuckled. "Here I am, Nina Gomez, the best-selling author", she spread her arms out in a funny way. She looked like someone playing on a stage. But I couldn't bring myself to smile.
She embraced me and said, "Daisy, I no longer believe in happily ever after."
****
"Miss Nina Gomez, welcome", a man with broad shoulders and a genuine smile on his face, stood up immediately as we entered the hall opposite Nina's office.
She said that was where the guests were hosted in the entire building. It was like a conference hall but not too large to occupy more than 50 people.
The building comprises offices of several people, ranging from artists, writers, poets, editors, freelancers, amongst others.
The office Nina secured for herself on the last floor was more like a hideout. Most of the people there were upcoming, whereas Nina's name was widely known. I couldn't help but wonder why she loves to keep her affairs private.
When I asked her before we entered the hall, she only laughed.
When I was in New York, I came across her book in a store I went to with Maria. The title was fascinating and before I could pick it up, Maria beat me to it. Nina was Maria's role model and she googled some information about Nina.
The information on the internet was limited. Her picture was nowhere on the internet but her name was known. Nina walks on the street without the fear of the paparazzi and she does her things without anyone's interference.
If Maria gets to know I am in her role model's home, she will gladly come over, I thought.
She was in love with Nina's style of writing. Most of Nina's books in Maria's collection were general fiction, full of suspense, desire, longing, crimes, and thrilling scenes.
There was no happily ever after, I just realized that after Nina made that statement that she no longer believes in happily ever after.
But that was the reality of the world we live in. Not every one of my stories will end up on happy notes, some will end up on bad and sad notes. Most of Nina's book ends up on sad notes and sometimes they are neutral.
I could remember one of her books which I exchanged with Maria. It was a romantic fiction of a younger man who was in love and lusted after a woman 8 years older than him. Their relationship wasn't defined and he was scared of showing her to the world.
When he eventually summoned up the courage to show her to the world, people began to make jest of him and his mother cursed him. That was when he knew it was time to define his relationship with her. He loved her and he voiced it out. She loved him too but was ready to sacrifice that love for his future.
She ran away to some other country without leaving any traces. He was devastated and after a while, he went in search of her. They eventually met but it was still undefined.
The end of the story brought up a lot of questions in my mind. "Why did fate bring them back again if they weren't meant to be together?"
I was hoping to ask Nina after the meeting. Then I asked myself if I also believe in happily ever after but I couldn't bring myself to answer that one question in my mind.
The only thing I told myself was, "Here I am, pregnant with no boyfriend, no relatives, no friend, no lover, am I supposed to still believe in happily ever after? Will mine be different from others? Am I supposed to believe mine will end happily ever after, unlike Nina's?
I couldn't answer the questions either. If mine is to end up happily, then It means my life will take a different turn and dimension, because my father is gone forever, same with mother. My baby father is nowhere to be found out and the JD Telecommunications Firm is gone too, I thought as I braced myself up for what is to come.
"Good day, Mr. Gonzalez '' Nina shook the man's hand as I entered the office fully with my protruding belly. I could see the looks of surprise, shock, and disappointment on the three men's faces.
Nina must have told them she was coming with her daughter, not a pregnant woman.