CHAPTER 15
Daisy's POV
"Baby", Nina called as I quickly let my hair down, brushing it.
"Yes, mom. I'm coming", I replied and wore my heels, took a hold of my handbag, and went out of the room.
"We are going to be late", she said when I got downstairs.
"Sorry, mom", I apologized, pulling my skirt down to give room for my belly.
"Are you comfortable in that dress?" She asked, peering at me.
"It's ok, mom. Let's go", I said with a smile and flung my bag into my hand.
The dress I was wearing was part of those Nina shopped for me, three months after I was discharged from the hospital. It was one of my favorites. I barely went out and that was the first time I wore the dress because it was an important occasion.
Nina asked me to follow her to the office to meet her editor and one publishing company coming to sign a contract for one of her books. I was anxious because I didn't know what was expected of me over there. I still hadn't told Nina that I was halfway through with my book.
We got into the car and the driver, Richard, drove out of the house. We were all silent for a while as I kept wondering what meeting an editor would feel like.
"My son is really finding it hard in China," Nina said, all of a sudden. I could see the crimson look on her face.
"Why?" I asked. She had informed me about her son whom she had coerced into going to a school in China just to be close to his father.
"I guess he is finding it hard to adapt to their lifestyle. He has never been out of America before", she explained.
"Maybe you should tell him to come back home", I suggested, putting my arms over her shoulder.
"Daisy, you don't get it. He barely knows what fatherly love is like. I want him to experience that."
"I thought you said his father is an Indian?"
"Yes, he is but he is currently in China. He works there."
"Your son is really lucky to have you. I'm sure he misses you."
"I miss him too. We've not been together since he was 15. He was in New York all along and I believe he is used to not having me around. I want him to experience that fatherly love, he needs it. When he grows up and starts having kids of his own, he won't deprive them of that love which he was deprived of."
"That is a reminder to me too", I sighed as she gazed at me in confusion. Then I offered to explain. "My baby doesn't have a father."
"Oh! That's not what I mean."
"It's ok. I'm sure he will get used to the place very soon. He has never seen his father before so I guess he is still a stranger to him."
She exhaled deeply and I continued. "Your son is lucky, you know? He knows his father exists, that alone is enough. He is used to you which is why he is finding it very hard to cope over there."
"I don't even know if my baby's father exists or not. We met only twice and he disappeared into thin air."
"I and Amar met only once. We haven't seen each other since then, even though I heard so much about him from my dad's friend, even before we eventually met."
"But you two were still communicating even after he left America '', I told her. " I don't even know if mine is a human or not. I barely know him. We were not in a relationship. Sometimes, I feel bad for what happened between us because I know my baby won't grow up to know his father. I'm sure your son isn't the first person on earth going through that so I believe he can do without it. Don't force him."
"Daisy", she called me as a tear dropped from my eyes. I could see the driver, Richard, looking at me from the rear mirror with sympathy.
"You two might have run into each other if you were still in New York '', I didn't know if Nina was trying to console me with the statement.
"I don't want to blame you for what happened because I was also in your shoes years ago. Amar left the next morning even before I woke up, but not without leaving his contact card on the table for me. Love and giving birth involve two people's lives. If he didn't think of contacting you or dropping his card as Amar did, you should have looked for him. He deserves to know he is going to have a baby with you. That is enough to make him stick to you."
"Stick to me because of the baby and not because we love each other?" I shook my head in tears.
Nina shook hers too. "That's not what I mean. Sex itself creates a bond between two people and a child strengthens the bond. Even if he doesn't love you, that bond between you two can make him love you. When I discovered I was pregnant, I was more than excited to inform him because I know he will finally be mine. I was so sure he'd come over to America and we would begin to raise a family together, but as fate would have it, he informed me of his marriage before I could tell him the good news."
"You were excited because the feeling is mutual. This is totally different from my situation", I argued with Nina as she used her thumb to wipe my tears. I wasn't seeing the connection between our stories. I felt mine was more pathetic.
She touched my shoulders. "Love? Yes, we love each other but we didn't end up together. What was betrothed and I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my pregnancy until the night of his wedding. He was mad at me for keeping such news away from him, until that day. He said that was enough to stop him from venturing into a loveless marriage. But I did that for a purpose, I didn't want to be selfish. What then is love when you aren't with the love you know? Do you get my point?"
I didn't get her point but I nodded anyway. After a moment of silence, I thought of what she said again and I began to see sense in it. "If you had told him before he tied the knot with the other lady, he would have come running to you?"
Nina smiled in agreement.