"Let me have a drink, it's okay. I'll just take care of me thanks anyway for serving me food." I smiled and said I was Andrea because it seemed like the depth of what she was thinking.
"H-Ha? All right, that's not it." She answered and turned around.
I was left alone and I looked at the phone that had just been ringing. Why is Smael calling? I lay down again while looking at the ceiling.
How can I tell you Smael I'm pregnant? Will you accept it? What will be your reaction, will you be angry with me? Will you hate this child of yours?
I was so attached to my still-thin heart. After all, I found out I was pregnant because I bought Mom Emma a pregnancy test. I was so happy to see the result. I was stunned by what someone remembered.
Why did Smael get me pregnant right away? Why not Francis? Even if Francis and I only have sex once, there is also a possibility that I will get pregnant.
I closed my eyes because my head suddenly hurt at the thought, I hope what I have in mind is not right. I thought of taking a bath and I left the room. I even looked at the other door where Smael's room was, wondering if he was there.
I just turned around and started walking up the stairs, I stopped walking because I saw Smael and his face was serious. I can’t read anything in the expression on his face and think he hasn’t slept yet.
"Smael," I said softly his name as he just passed me. But he stopped.
"I want to tell you something." I didn’t say it right away because he might be surprised.
"Don't do it now." He answered weakly.
"All right." I just answered because he might be tired, he continued to walk straight to his room.
Next time maybe because maybe it's not the time yet.
I went downstairs and I went to the kitchen, I saw them busy and they didn’t notice me enter. I sat there stunned.
"Elisa, it's you. How do you feel?" Mother Emma immediately asked me.
"I'm ok," I replied even though I was feeling really sad I don't know.
"Why did Andrea throw away the milk earlier?" Brenda asked in surprise.
"Ha? Ah, I didn't drink it because I'm sick of the smell." I answered and Mother Emma approached me.
"It's like that when you're pregnant and conceiving, maybe your child will be a boy." Smiling Mother Emma said.
I suddenly smiled as did Brenda, I looked at my stomach and immediately thought that if it was a man, he was probably as handsome as his father.
"Yes Mother Emma, I'm sure he's handsome," Brenda said with a smile.
"Where is Andrea?" I ask because I haven’t seen it here.
"Oh my, it's just there. Andrea has her world." Brenda said laughing.
I just smiled and fell silent again as I sat down.
"Do you want something to eat today?" Mother Emma asked.
I just shook my head because I had no appetite. After all, the truth of the matter was that I just wanted to see and be with Smael.
----------
I sat quietly here on the bed. I just realized that Christine was next to me. She hugged me but ignored me. I have this in mind because of Elisa, especially Mr. Chavez. I already hurt Elisa, I just hope Smael doesn't do that. Because he is known to be a playboy. Even if I wasn’t for him, just don’t be Mr. Chavez because the life of that man is chaotic. What will Elisa's life be like in a mafia-like, Mr. Chavez?
I learned his identity because of one of the cops I knew. It is said that many want to arrest him but not enough evidence, he is also ruthless if he kills.
"It's good that Elisa is pregnant while I'm not yet. We have sex almost every day but why?"
I was stuck in thought because of what Christine said, but I ignored her because I didn’t know why I felt this way. Especially when I found out that Elisa was pregnant, while that was what we both hoped for then.
Why didn’t I get her pregnant during the time we were both together?
"I don't have a problem with my mattress, especially with our race, or maybe you?"
I turned to Christine and I didn’t like what she said. I looked at her.
"Because, even if you didn't get Elisa pregnant, it means you have a disability. Does it mean you can't give me a child? Are you barren then?"
I suddenly strangled Christine because of what she told me and I could not accept that I was told that I was incapable of having a child or rather that I was barren.
"What! F-Francis. I can't breathe!"
My eyes widened in anger and Christine's words kept running through my mind, but I suddenly woke up to see her blushing and troubled face.
"Forgive me, C-Christine." I stuttered as she gripped her neck. I didn't know what to do, I got caught in my head because I didn't expect to be able to do that.
"Y-you're shameless! You're useless. You're going to kill me! Fuck you! Get out!"
I left the room and leave the house on my own, I don't know why I did that to Christine. All I knew was that all of a sudden there was an onslaught of anger in my chest because I couldn’t accept being told I was barren and useless. My mind can't accept that Elisa is pregnant now, because I didn't do that to her either.
I didn’t know where I was going, my feet were barefoot as I idly walked along the side of the road.