Her memory was a whirling kaleidoscope she wished she could forget...
"Mommy, when will my prince come and see me?" she asked in a tiny voice. Her eighth birthday was a week ago, but her parents didn't have time to celebrate it.
Ana was hoping her mom would invite the prince from her favorite book to her birthday. Perhaps it was a surprise?
However, the look her mom gave her right now shattered her dream.
"There's no such thing, Ana. Finish your breakfast."
"What—but, mom, you promised."
"I never said such thing and don't you dare speak up to me. This is my home and you must listen to what I tell you."
"Mom—"
"No, you spent so much time with your Dad that you're behaving like this. You have to obey me, if not I'll go away and you'll lose a mother. Do you want that?"
"No, Mom. I love you, please don't go."
She fought back her tears when her mother crouched down in front of her, stroking her hair.
"Good girl. I do love you, too, sweetheart, when you're my quiet and obedient Ana."
"Daddy, when will Mom come home? She's not going away because I'm bad, is she?"
Her daddy just looked at her with those red, dazed eyes. It was as if he wasn't there. Ana slowly gathered the empty bottles on the table in front of him into the trash bag.
"You won't leave me, right, Daddy?
He, too, didn't have the answer.
"Why are you reading this?" her mother snatched the novel from her. "True love? Really, Ana? I told you there's nothing like that in this world. Look at your dad."
"What's wrong with him?" she countered defensively. One of the diners looked up at her with a scowl, so she bit her lip.
Her mother just perused at the menu, clicking her tongue distastefully. "Everything is wrong with him. But don't you worry your little head. I want you to meet my work colleague today, so stop reading this at once."
Her mom was just handing her the book when someone arrived at their table and she jumped to hug him. She smiled at Ana.
"Ana, this is Steven."
The bulky man with a crooked smile peered down at her fourteen self. "My, my, you're not so pretty, aren't you? One glance at you and I'm surprised that you are Carla's daughter."
"Steven," her mom hit his arm playfully. "You'll make her sad."
"Oh, no," the man feigned a pout, "we don't want that. But consider this an advice from a man, honey, try being like your mom, and you'll have men throwing themselves at you."
"Steven."
Ana didn't remember the rest of the night except for her mother's high-pitch laugh and that man's snide remarks.
Ana was about to turn from the hallway when she heard one of the students mention her name. She curiously peered to a group of boys hiding under the big tree in the school yard. One of them was her classmate, who happened to ask her for a date this morning. She smiled, remembering that.
I wish José is here so I can tell him my crush know that I exist!
"Do you like her? Annie Thompson, I mean. She has a great body, that one."
"You asked her this morning, didn't you?"
Ana didn't hear the answer, but one of his friends exclaimed in a restrained voice, "You lucky bastard!"
"She's so shy, so I'll give it two or three dates until I'll try more," he bragged. "Oh, the things I want to do to her. Until then, I'll make sure she accepts my intention."
"Your intention? The date or her ass?"
"You know which one."
That day, Ana learned two things about boys. One, they're highly inappropriate. And two, a swift kick to their nether region guaranteed a satisfying high-pitched shriek.
"What the hell, Thompson, how dare you injured Paul like that?! He has a match tomorrow!"
Ana looked at the girls with disdain. "Last time I check, he would make a good singer with his tenor voice. Tell him to forget basketball and join then choir instead."
"You're such a bitch. Stay away from him, you're so ugly to be his girlfriend anyway."
Lesson number three, girls didn't always stick together.
"Well, if you're useful for once in your entire life, I'd make a decent wife!"
"Don't talk shit, woman. You're cheating on me. You've been cheating on me behind my back all this time when I try my damnedest to provide for you and Annie!"
"Wake up, Ray. You're practically living on my money. What did you do except wallowing in your self-pity?"
"It's not my fault that I got fired!"
Ana tuned out their screaming. Picking her notebook and pencil, she plugged in her earphones and listening to anything but her parents, numbing her feeling.
She swore she would never be like them.
"Why are you reading so much about true love shit?" one of her high school classmates asked.
Because it's easy to read and pretend you could have that someone who will love you for you, and you could give him your heart because he gave his to you. That you're not alone in this world.
"I just like the plot."
"But, Kate, he was your boyfriend for, like, two years!"
"So? It couldn't last, Ana. He knew what my job is."
"What do you mean?"
"No one is genuine in this industry, Ana. It's a business after all. You have to know that."
The hand that he offered for her to shake. His manly scent. Those eyes. Those big, kind eyes: gray, stormy, molten. It stirred something deep in her soul.
"I believe we've met before. The first time I arrived on the set? I remember you. You're Miss Thompson, right?"
"Oh, um, yeah. Hello."
His hand engulfed her tiny one, warmth seeped into her skin.
"It's nice to meet you, Miss Thompson."
"Ana. Just call me Ana."
And then the man smiled.
And she was lost.