Ana nodded at the clock. Fifteen minutes early. Kate had been already on the set, coming from the gym after burning some calories; a very admirable act, if Ana could add. But the helpless girl Kate was, she forgot to order her daily caffeine shot. And if she deprived, no one could wake her up, shooting be damned.
That was why Ana ran around the town like a headless chicken.
She knew Portland like the back of her hand. She and Kate were actually staying at her old apartment in Vancouver. The old place was recently refurbished, albeit still reeking college atmosphere. They signed the lease for three months for the duration of the filming. With Kate's steady job, and Ana had a steady income, they had a decent apartment in LA. It felt nice to have a place they could call home, despite their job required living flexibility. But, for another one month, Washington would be their base camp.
With a grumble, she pulled the damn heavy front door (which come in handy when she needed to throw Kate's one-night stand partner out once upon a time). She was just locking the door before, "Fuck!"
She forgot the car key.
She was barely walking through the door when someone touched her shoulder, greeting her warmly.
"Good morning, Miss Thompson."
It was him, Eric Miller, the up-and-coming actor who worked alongside Kate in this movie. Damn. Wasn't it too early for him to shatter her vulnerable mood?
She turned around facing him with a fake smile, one he replied tenfold. Minus the fake.
Oh, God, his smile was blinding as always. Pull yourself together, Thompson.
"Good morning, Mr. Miller."
"Did you have a good night?"
"Yes, I did, thank you for asking." Why was he staring like that? Was there something strange on her face? Smudged lipstick, maybe? She peeked at her phone. Nope, all clear.
"I am sorry for cancelling our dinner last night and not being able to see you went home. I had an impromptu meeting with the directors," he said with those pleading eyes. Nope, no use, Miller.
"I bet you did," she muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing. I said it's quite alright, Mr. Miller. I called a cab last night."
"Good," he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. It was this exact expression that had got her last night, when she had accepted his offer to take her home before cancelling it at the last minute. She shook the unfamiliar disappointment feeling.
"I was hoping you could go with me, tonight? For a dinner?"
That caught her off guard.
What was this man trying to do? Canceling at the last minute like the last time?
"Um, I don't know, Mr. Miller."
"Eric. Call me Eric."
Ugh. How could Ana say not to that smile? Well, she said it anyway. "I am sorry, but I always called a colleague formally, sir."
"Please?" Shit, he really could put puppy eyes to shame with that look. In fact, he could rob her empty right about now.
She sighed, already sensing an imminent headache. "Okay, Eric."
His face lightened up, and if she didn't know any better, she would bet he'd jump with glee right now. "Great!" he laughed so beautifully she had to shut her mouth close lest her jaw hit the floor. "I'll pick you out at seven?"
Hm. So, this was his plan. Well, let him plan all he wanted.
"What? I mean, okay, I'll call you Eric. I wasn't agreeing having a dinner."
His face fell. "Oh, but I thought—"
"With all due respect, Mr. Miller, I really have to refuse."
"Miss Thompson, I promise. This time I won't cancel. I have all night free."
She mustered a small smile. "Thank you for the offer, but I have an important meeting tonight."
His eyes darkened. "You're having a date?"
"Sort of." With bullet journal and Kate's social media accounts that is.
"But—"
"Have a good day, Mr. Miller," she gave him a nod then, ignoring his excuse, entering Kate's trailer and locking the door. She tried dismissing her clenched heart at his crestfallen face.
"He was looking at you the entire time," Kate announced the elephant in the room.
They were standing in the corner of the set, Kate had just finished her part in the scene and waiting for a wrap or pick-up, depending on the director's order. They watched Eric with his co-star, acting cozy in front of a fake fireplace. And sure enough, whenever he changed shots, his eyes always strayed to Ana.
"Maybe he found something funny in my face." She checked in the mirror for good measure. Nope, still clear.
"Oh, don't be a cold-hearted witch, Ana. You know what I meant. He didn't do that on purpose. In fact, he really would do anything to have a dinner alone with you."
She knew it. Ana also knew he couldn't put down execs' invitation. It would be beneficial for his career. But she couldn't help feeling a little insignificant and rejected. It went back to her bleak conscience, full of old wounds and doubts.
"He sure had a funny way about asking me."
"I'd say you're disappointed but don't have a damn gut to tell him. Am I right?" Ana just frowned at her. "Quit with this passive-aggressive crap, Thompson."
"Piss off, Kate. Since when this concerns you?"
Kate sighed loudly. "Look, I am only trying to help. He just wanted to know you better, okay? But you always have this great wall you put up to protect yourself," she squinted her eyes at Ana, already looked like a mighty judge. "I thought it was temporary, but when every guy who interested in you in the college told me how icy you were toward them. I know your goddamn wall will prevent you from experiencing a real life."
She knew it was true. But she couldn't help it. Could she? Ana shut the thought off, instead clapping her hands half-heartedly.
"Wow, quite the speech, Kate. You borrowed some words from your character?"
"Oh, shut it. You know I am right, and one day, you would thank me. For a hopeless romantic, you sure have an inclination to stop your own love story," she chuckled.
"It's not worth it. He would find me boring along the way, and where would that end up?" she rubbed her face. "I don't want to waste my time. If it's doomed from the start, why try it anyway?"
"Because you'll end up with so many what-ifs in your old, lonely days."
She lifted her shoulders. "I'll take the risk."
Kate gave her a somber look. "No, Ana, you're not. You won't take a risk, and that's the true problem."
Ana scowled so much these days; her forehead actually felt stiff.
The man was an unyielding force, she would give him that. Never had a day passed before him greeting her good morning, occasionally sent her a cup of coffee or two, and text her goodnight. The reason why he knew her phone number was actually Kate's handiwork.
"I took a pity on him, Ana. And he was so kind to bring me coffee."
Thanks, Kate. Your loyalty is truly unquestionable. Grrr.
"Here you go, Miss Thompson."
Eric Miller. A small cup of hot tea in his hand. A damned smile and wind-tousled hair. Added to that, the glimmering sunset as the background after his outdoor scene made everything seemed golden. He looked positively sinful and tempting, while managing to give her his boyish charm.
Eric sure put an entirely new meaning to magic hour.
Damn him.
"Thank you."
She accepted the tea, wondering on his capability to locate her in the back of the big van. She was taking a much-needed breather and soaking in the beautiful scenery of the old mansion near the lake. Too bad Kate had to shoot since Ana knew she would love to take a picture here.
"You're welcome," Eric shrugged like giving her a drink after such tiresome day was not a big deal. "I hope I got it right. English breakfast tea, weak, no sugar."
That brought her to stop huffing the steam off from her tea. She frowned. "How did you know?"
"I noted your order when we grabbed a breakfast the other day."
Weird. And a bit stalkerish. She maintained her narrowed eyes, sipping the tea carefully. "Hm, how very… thoughtful of you."
"I made it myself."
"Oh?"
"Yes, earlier at the food truck."
Ana almost smiled at that. So Eric Miller knew how to brew a perfect tea. "You sure there's nothing in this?"
"I am not a serial killer, Miss Thompson," he held up his hands. His face was full of mischief, however. "Not today anyway."
"Not funny," Ana grumbled.
They fell into silence. Well, not so quiet as the rest of the film crew surrounding the location was busy taking the close-up.
"What do you think about this movie?"
"What?"
Eric moved closer to where she stood, gazing at her intensely. "You once told me that you love classic lit. What do you think of this take?"
"This reimagine and modern version of Jane Eyre?" he nodded. "Honestly, I can't wait to watch the final edit."
He looked surprised. "You like it so far?"
"Yes. You're all acting amazingly. However, I can't tell if I will love the movie from the bits and parts of little scenes I saw here and there, I have to look at the entire part."
He hummed, "Most of people would say they love the novel more than the movie."
Ana contemplated his words for a moment. "That's all right, I think. Everyone has an opinion. We all know most movies only covered the big parts of the story, but it is smaller parts that make readers commit to the novel. It's the feeling when you read, like you live through the character's life. And sometimes movies didn't have that much time to convey everything in the novel."
"And you're okay with that?"
She shrugged. "It's one of my favorite books, so I'll be lying if I don't have a high expectation. But seeing how seriously the production, and how dedicated you-we-all are, I think this movie will make a big impact on how we perceive life."
"I see," Eric scratched his chin. "I did my part with that in mind. I tried my all. I just hope my portraying of the man did him justice."
"Oh yeah. You auditioned for the second male lead, but got the first lead instead," she tilted her head, smiling warmly at him, hoping that he could feel her excitement. "What did you feel when you know that?"
"Thrilled. Exhilarated," he beamed at Ana, and her heart skipped a beat. "Actually, Rochester's personality is challenging. I don't feel like him sometimes."
"But you're perfect!"
"Reading the novel really helped. I guess reading Jane's thoughts awakened something in me, a dark part I didn't know I possess."
She laughed. "You sure have a dark side, Mr. Miller."
He sighed. "I know I would like having some deep talks with you, Ana. You're so easy to talk to."
He looked at her with an expression that could make even the coldest heart melted. Like he was trying to tell her something intimate with his eyes. Like he was looking at his whole world.
She used to wonder what it felt like to be the object of this kind of gaze. But the books didn't do it justice. It felt so, so much…
She looked away, sipping at her cup slowly. Somehow, she knew the heat in her face was not from the steam of her now cold tea.