I was lost for the next few days, working but barely living. My guilt was eating me constantly. The need to talk to someone and unburden myself was paramount. There was no escape from calling Jigar. I made up my mind, picked up my phone and tapped the dial. He picked up after numerous attempts.
"You're alive." The man was at his sarcastic best.
"Breathing," I replied.
"Hey, what's wrong?" The concern was evident. He was back to being my caring friend as soon as he sensed trouble from my answer.
"I don't know."
"O...kay."
"How is your film turning out?" It was better to talk about work than my feelings.
"Post-production stage, planning to release it by the end of next month. We are yet to announce the date of release and probably then the promotions will kick in."
"That's great news." I was feeling genuinely happy about his success.
"So..." I was at a loss again, wondering what to ask next to keep the conversation going. He filled in the space with more details about work.
"I am beginning to work on a Hindi feature film next with Jindal. The script has been locked. We are planning to begin pre-production by the end of this month."
"Oh my God! You are en route to becoming a big Bollywood producer." I said excitedly elated at Jigar's career going great guns.
He remained quiet despite my outburst allowing the silence to hang for ages. It gave me time to compose myself. I finally gathered the courage to speak and told him everything, barring no details, leaving no conversation out.
"I never actually considered her a friend when she was alive, but she thought of me as one. She asked for help... she gave me...hints and...warnings on numerous occasions about things... going awry in her life,...but I never paid any heed. I let her die because I didn't want to listen." I choked at these words. I took a deep breath feeling tired with all the heavy heartedness.
"Do you want to die along with her?" He asked earnestly.
"No!" I shrieked.
"Then don't kill yourself by taking this guilt trip every day. You can't save them all." He spoke again with a lot of trepidation in his voice. "You saved me Abhi, saved me from the pits of hell and self-destruction. You listened to me patiently. Where I stand in life today is because of you, so, don't do this to yourself."
A "hmmm," escaped my mouth not believing in its entirety.
"Can I trust you to not hurt my friend?"
"Yes," I said pouting my face. "Thank you."
"What for?" He asked good-humoredly. "Listen I got to go for the final edit, I will call you back tonight."
"Okay," I hummed as he dropped the call.
I don't know if I was going to heed his advice. My mind wouldn't stop until I had a few facts straight. I wasn't ready to give up on myself so easily. I walked to the HR department hoping to get Manto's parents' number. I would call them and...I had no clue what I would talk to them but I was going to figure this out later. The more important thing in the present was finding their number.
The HR department was next to the camera department. Though I had been here numerous times, I noticed the hierarchy in the sitting arrangement today. I found Sameer and waved to him. He was quick to acknowledge and waved back with a wide grin on his face.
The HR who handled the details of the interns was a newbie.
"Hi,' She was so cheerful that she came across as phoney. HRs are the most treacherous sort. They pack the most powerful punches in the sweetest sugar-coated formulas possible.
"How can I help you?" She continued.
"I needed a small favour."
"Uh..huh..." She had still not dropped her cheery pretence.
"I need to know Manto I mean Manpreet Singh's parents' number."
She looked at me for a second then continued to stare at her computer screen. I noticed she was not sure.
"Do you mind talking to my Head? I am not sure what the protocol is but if he agrees I have no problem sharing the details.
"Cool. Just guide me to his cabin."
"Sure. The first left to the main door."
"Thanks," I mumbled. I didn't know if this was a good idea. But I had prepared my story well in advance. I wanted to be a part of Manto's shradh and I needed their number to know the details.
I found the cabin and knocked. On entering the office the only thing I could register was the mess. Papers were strewn all over, across his desk, on the floor, files were scattered while he was buried deep in reading something on the screen.
"What do you need?" He didn't beat around the bush and came straight to the point.
"Ummmm...I wanted to ask if I can get Manpreet Singh's number."
"What's your name?"
"Abhilasha Bhayani."
"Right the girl who saw her..." he cut himself from stating the obvious. "Sit." He commanded.
He continued to gaze at the screen, clicked the mouse a couple of times before tearing his gaze to meet mine.
"The number is..."
I took out my phone to note down the number. His cell buzzed and he excused himself, turning the screen towards me to note down. He left his cabin. I scrolled the screen to check for any other numbers available. The touchpad was was super sensitive because I messed it up. While trying to close the window, I accidentally ended up opening his messenger running in the background. A quick message from Rohit did not escape my eyes. I opened his inbox to the trail and found my heart lurched in my mouth. Rohit had messaged the HR head to erase all records of complaints. This was sent a few days ago. I quickly trained my eyes to beware of the door while I took the liberty to read more. This was unethical and...oh my god...
I closed the window and rushed out. I had to speak to Agam.