Nobody had spoken to me for almost two hours, I couldn't blame them. I wasn't going to speak to myself either. I felt rotten, for letting my anger take the best of me, I wanted to kick and scream, but who was I screaming at? Who was I aiming to kick? Because I was to blame, I let myself get lost in my frustrations and anger. I always knew how to keep my temper in check, almost nothing ticked me off.
I was so ashamed of myself, I couldn't believe I said such terrible words to a person. Just because I was angry, it was no excuse. I was a terrible person.
We looked for Joseph everywhere on the property, we couldn't find him, we heard from the security that a "brooding guy" took a cab and left.
So we drove back home, ending the picnic when it barely even started. I sat at the back of the van, shrinking myself inside the seat, to feel small, telling myself that they couldn't see me, and didn't hate me.
"I have never seen you angry in my life... I almost thought you never got angry, nice to see you are human too." Gabby whispered to me, breaking the silent treatment. She didn't look like she hated me, she looked.. impressed. I was glad she was talking to me anyway, i didn't like the silent treatment so much.
"I feel terrible... In front his sister too." I tell her, not risking the chance to steal a glance at Lucy.
"You didn't do anything wrong in my book though, you stood up for yourself. He started it, he was basically calling you a loser, you stood up for you, I like that." Lucy said, surprising the both Gabby and I.
I blinked a thousand times in confusion.
"You aren't mad at me?"
"Why should I be? If he didn't bait you, you wouldn't have reacted. He had it coming." She said shrugging casually.
"I honestly don't know what to say, but I didn't mean it, I promise I didn't." I apologise sincerely.
She smiled,
"I'll have to thank you, maybe this thing you said would get to him, and he would start taking life a little more seriously." She said softly.
I didn't understand that, but as long as she was wasn't mad at me, I was fine. Now her brother though, he is a different story.
We stopped in front of the Wilson's house, and Lucy got down, thanking my parents profusely and apologizing for her brother's behavior while my parents apologized for my own unruly behavior.
"Thank you for everything Mrs Anderson, I had a good time, I hadn't seen a cat fight in too long, I'm glad I got to see them cat fight today." Lucy said laughing.
"See you in school on Monday Carrie, hopefully you open the new journalism club then."
"Yeah, I planned to open it on Monday... I'll help you hand out the fliers and posters, and recruit a few people if you want." I tell her.
She clapped excitedly.
"That's brilliant Carrie, thank you."
That was the last thing she said before dashing inside her house, the house that the angry Joseph resided. He was probably in there right now, steaming and thinking of different ways to kill me.
I swallowed.
Slowly, we moved everything from the van to inside the car. I dreaded what my parents were going to say to me, what would they say? I haven't had a reason for them to be mad at me before. I didn't know what to do.
"Carolyn, can we talk to you for a second?" Dad asked as I was about to sneak upstairs.
I shared a look with Gabby, she mouthed, 'good luck' to me before dashing upstairs. That's when I knew I was in deep trouble, because she was used to this, she knew how heavy her punishment was going to be from the tone of their voices, and now she knows the way my punishment was going to be. I guess I'd really need that luck.
They sat on the sofa opposite me, I sat down on the literal edge of the sofa. My head bowed.
"What you did today, it's akin to pride... Looking down on people from your place... You remember what I said about pride right?" Dad asked.
I nodded,it was almost his anthem.
"But it is true you stood up for yourself, he had no right to speak to you in that manner, he was wrong, he was trying to put you down for doing what you love. But you were wrong too, you had no right to judge him either. He might be going through a phase.. " Mom added.
I was confused now, was I being scolded or not?
"Actually, we don't know what to do either, we haven't seen you angry before, and you weren't totally wrong, and we can't even ground you because you don't even leave the house, we can't take away your phone because all you know are your books. And for the first time we are actually having this kind of thing with you and not Gabby.!!" Mom ended her speech in excitement.
I looked from dad to her, they were actually serious.. I had no punishment.
"Can I go to my room now?" I asked them.
They just nodded distractedly. I sighed and went up the stairs.
"You get in trouble, they become happy?? How is this life so unfair? You are really the Golden child Carolyn." Gabby said frowning from the top of the stairs.
I ignored her and went in my room. I plopped down on the bed. Rolling over to look at my window facing his, he might be there right now. In his room, still mad at me. Probably shirtless.
What am I thinking? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I decided to call my best friends. They'd make me feel less of the way I am feeling now.
"Hey guys! What's up.?" I asked.
"We went to have milkshake.. what's up with you?" Sophie asked me.
I sighed,
"What is it? Another calculus that doesn't make sense but later will because you are Carolyn Anderson?" Andrina asked dryly.
"I made a mistake guys, a really huge one."
"What mistake can be huger than buying a darker shade of pink instead of the light one you like?" Sophie asked, I assume she was rolling her eyes.
"I made someone extremely mad... like extremely mad.."
"He lost to you in a spelling bee competition? Is he getting stalkerish?" Andrina asked.
I almost groan.
"Let me speak, please."
For the next few seconds only me spoke.
"I made Joseph Wilson mad."
"What do you mean? He is happy." Sophie said, confusion lacing her tone.
"I'm serious."
"We are serious too, he and Debbie walked in here a few minutes ago for milkshake too."
I ran to the window, his blinds were shut, I couldn't see. I felt anger bubble in my chest...anger.. and jealousy.
"You can see if you want."
I saw I had a message, when I opened it, it was from Sophie, a picture of both of them, Joseph and Debbie... Smiling.
I think my heart stopped beating too.