Caspian waited in the hallway with Jael, the air between them tense.
Caspian was actively ignoring his thoughts, he was a little scared of paying attention to them.
They didn’t stand outside the living room for very long when Gage came trudging out.
He looked totally crushed, Jael sticking to his side as they went down the hallway, leaving Caspian in front of the door.
Asher was on the other side of the door, and if he went in, they would be all alone together.
Their drawn-out confrontation was even scarier after the moment they just had with his dad.
But even more than that, Asher wasn’t in a good place. If Gage had looked that bad, he had to be feeling worse.
That was enough to get Caspian to open the door and walk in.
He silently sat on the plush carpeting beside Asher and then patted his thighs softly, "Want to rest your head on my legs?"
The offer was soft and tentative.
Asher hadn’t even recognized his presence when he walked in so he half-expected to be turned down.
Instead, the Alpha took his offer, gingerly resting his head as he was told, powerful arms wrapping around his waist.
Caspian’s hands greedily sank into Asher’s hair, quietly offering comfort.
Asher curled up into him like he was trying to make himself smaller and for the first time, Caspian wished he was much bigger just for that.
Minutes passed by silently, their quiet breathing in tandem, the antique clock loud in the living room.
"You have to tell me to let you go," Asher broke the silence after at least half an hour had passed by.
Caspian was beginning to believe that the Alpha had fallen asleep, getting startled by his words.
It didn’t help that Asher spoke directly into his stomach where the Alpha had tucked his face, fighting the urge to laugh from being tickled.
"I have nowhere to go," Caspian resumed caressing Asher’s hair.
Asher said something that could be anything from a curse to a groan of pain but it was muffled.
He turned on his back so that they could hold eye contact, his expression desperate. "I’m a weak man, Caspian."
"Hardly," Caspian laughed softly, pushing his wild hair back from his face. "There has to be a solution-"
"Gage said there isn’t," Asher said brashly, his brows furrowed. "There’s no cure."
"Then we’ll figure something out that works," Caspian said lightly.
Asher covered his hand in his hair with his, hazel-gold eyes burning. "I’ll kill you."
The words were spoken with a heartbroken finality, like they were sinking into Asher’s head for the first time.
"I know that," Caspian said quietly, looking away from Asher to stare at the blank screen.
"You know after my parents died, I didn’t really care if I lived or died. Simply existing is a terrible way to live, even dying for a cause is better."
"I don’t want you to die for me." Asher groaned out.
"Then don’t kill me," Caspian said lightly.
At the look Asher shot him, Caspian tugged lightly on his hair to scold him. "Don’t give me that look."
"I need you to be more serious." Asher countered.
"I am," Caspian tried to say seriously but his smile ruined it.
"Oh for fuck’s sake." Asher muttered, trying to sit up.
Caspian stopped him physically, pushing him back down. "Why don’t you tell me everything," He suggested, tampering his tone to sound more serious.
"I went to a doctor," Asher started his often-told narrative.
Caspian listened intently, content to sit on the floor with Asher and play with his hair.
"And I thought I found a cure," He chuckled bitterly.
"What was it?" Caspian asked patiently.
Asher hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Being around you messes with my rut medications, and marking you should fix that."
"That’s a relief, my broken rib was just starting to heal," He teased.
"You’re... you don’t need to use humor to soften the fact that I should be thrown in jail," Asher said in self-loathing.
"But that’s how I feel," He laughed, "You’re the one being too grim about this."
"What?" Asher mumbled, finding it hard to believe his ears.
"Broken ribs will heal," Caspian said calmly.
"But I could rip your neck out," Asher tried to sit up again and this time, Caspian didn’t stop him.
"You did that once before, and I’m fine," He countered again.
Asher had to shut his mouth because he knew he would splutter if he had to speak.
Once again, the overwhelming thought that he didn’t deserve Caspian filled his head.
"I know what I’m getting into, Asher," Caspian said slowly to get it into the Alpha’s head.
Asher didn’t quite look like he believed him, and Caspian could see why but he had no plans to give in either.
"And if I lose control?" Asher plainly spelled out the hard limit.
Caspian shrugged, "I’ll keep Jael on speed dial. He held you down once, he can do it again."
Asher gave him a look of bewilderment, needing to get up to pace.
He had no counters to Caspian’s solution because although his life was at risk, he provided very logical solutions.
Caspian propped his elbow on the seat of the couch and watched Asher pace from one end of the room to the other.
It had been just a week and yet he looked gaunt like he hadn’t been eating and sleeping enough, he couldn’t have that.
While Caspian was scheming up ways to get Asher to eat, the Alpha was having a meltdown.
He had been through a rollercoaster of emotions in the span of a couple of hours.
Learning the details surrounding his mom’s death didn’t change much, his father had still been the cause of her death.
And he was forced to face the fact that it would happen to him too...
He had been expecting the conversation with Caspian to be short and cruel. No one would choose to stay after hearing that they could be killed at any time.