Chapter thirty three.
Zack's POV.
"What is it?"
"When will you tell me?"
"What are you hiding, Zack?"
"Is it about James?"
"You said something about being afraid to be with him, what does it mean? Is there any problem?"
Those were Susan's words when we got home on Sunday night. She was frustrated. I remember her, yelling at me when I don't answer. My thoughts were rubbish.
I don't even know what to think.
It is Monday. It is morning. I am staring at the ceilings, feeling numb. I have been in this same position, lying on the bed with my back since five-fifteen. I couldn't sleep, because of my thoughts.
I didn't receive any emails from Black Script, neither do I know what to do with James' issue. Susan is also there, frustrated at my acting yesterday. I knew I would have to explain things to her, but that yesterday just wasn't the time. I fucked up, big time.
Reopening my eyes after breathing in, I stand up and go to bathroom afterwards. I need to clean this mess in my head one by one, and that can stopped when I stopped being an asshole, or sleeping all day in here, thinking within the box, enraptured in the same moment.
Once I'm done, I get myself ready for outing, putting on a casual clothing that consists of just a red V-neck top and blue jeans.
I don't even bother brushing my hair, but only use my hands to rake through it. It actually does look nice when I finish with it.
In the kitchen, I find Susan there, cooking. I hadn't expected her to be awake at this time. It is exactly seven in the morning. She is brightly looking in her nightgown, as she listens to music, the booming sound in the background.
"Morning." I just say. My morning isn't that good, so...ooooh, I breath out.
"Good morning to you too this morning." Wow. She actually replies me. I thought we were fighting. "Did you have a nice night?"
"You know I didn't."
"Well, I did. So, I cooked pancakes for breakfast, will eat?" Then, she checks me out, "wow, looking all cute, casual, simple, yet a badass. Where are you going?"
I shake my head at her, then go for what I came here for initially, which is a bottle of water.
She is still smiling at me when I turn, expecting me to talk. Okay, maybe I should this time.
"To the Black Script. I didn't get a email, which is disturbing. Mr. Hitler made it assuring that I should get a email, and it should be before Monday."
"Wow, you met Hitler, himself?"
"Yeah? Why?"
"Just surprised. The man is a fucking Billionaire, and I heard that he keeps to himself. He is like a godfather, something of sort." Susan says, as she helps me pick two pancakes into a dish, and place it on the worktop table.
I mouth a thanks. "But the man is actually nice when I saw him. He even asked me some, well, some irrelevant questions, but other than that, he was a great man." That's my perspective and the way that I see the man, but then, after yesterday, seeing him again, I couldn't be so sure.
Well, Susan made it clear now that he keeps to himself and that he is a billionaire, I can't blame him for having men in black then. They would be for security reasons. They do kill people in parties like yesterday's, so maybe that's why he brought mercenaries. Okay, maybe I am defending him too much.
When I'm done with the food, I move outside and get into Susan's car. I've pleaded with her to let me take it out, and luckily for me, she accepted. Kicking on the engine, I drive out of the parking space and into the street.
My thoughts were my companions till I get to Black Script. I didn't even check my surroundings, I didn't even observe anything. There is no sun in the sky, everything cool as I enter through the front gate.
I make my way straight up to the registry, and call the blonde's attention even though she's acknowledged me.
"Hi,"
"Good morning. How can I help you, sir?" She didn't call me sir the last time. Oh, Zack!
Okay, pardon.
"Can I see Mr. Hitler, please?" I make my best to be polite in my tone, and needy at the same time.
She smiles even wider, "do you have an appointment," state simply, the blonde woman.
Oh, that's where I will have a problem. "No, but it's important."
"I can't let you in without a pass. I'm sorry, its protocol. But since you have an important case to deliver to him, you can let me know about it and I will divert it to him, maybe then, he will grant you a pass." She picks her words carefully. Wow.
"I want to know if the new selectees that were interviewed on Friday have been employed?" My tone is nervous in the background when I ask.
"Yes, through an email, each and every selectee has been appointed. Did you apply?"
Of course, I did. If I hadn't, would I be asking? More also, were you blind? Didn't you see my face when Mr. Hitler walked with me to the elevator?
Those are what I would have told her in another reality, but here, I just nod a yes.
She gives me a sorrowful face, something I hate. "Thanks. I'll take my leave."
"Thank you for having interest. Can I get your name, so maybe if you'll still be interested on new selection, I would inform you to reapply?"
She is damn kidding me right now. That won't be until next year. She is a freak at this moment.
"Thanks." I only say and leave.
I find my way outside hurriedly, my nerves breaking down already, my limps wanting to give up. This is bad. I wasted all my time. I should have stayed in the town with Mr. West and James, himself. I can't keep it in, so I run to the side of the company, and slide down the glassy surface of the skyscraper, my hands on my head, my brain gone from here.
I don't know how long I stayed, thinking again and again, regretting ever leaving. James was normal before we came here, before he saw Mr. Hitler's image on my laptop's screen.
Oh-mi-gosh, speaking of Mr. Hitler, and James. Jesus, I saw them yesterday. And on Friday, James went inside, and came back out angrily. I was sure he hadn't went to meet someone, a friend as he had claimed, but Mr. Hitler, himself. That is whom he went to meet. I get it now. James must have a hand in me, not getting this job. I am sure.
He was angry when he came out, and from the side mirror, I saw Mr. Hitler walk out of his newly bought company, and stared as James drove away. That must mean something. I think I'm moving closer to a clue, but, oh wait a minute, this only brings in more questions and baffling series. It seems like I just gave myself a whole new dimension to think more.
"You look like a mess down there." Says the thick, masculine voice of James'. Now, he is here to see me after getting me fired without even getting the Job in the first place...that is the best conclusion I can come up with.
"Time you'd show." I say and pick myself up. As I look at him, I feel like hitting him in the chest, and yelling at his face but all I do in reality is to stare at his smirking face.
"What are you doing here?" Like he has no clue? Wait, is he even crazy? Sure he must be a dummy this morning.
"What does it matter?"
"It does to..."
"Just shut the fuck up." I shout at him. Thank God, there is no one walking around, so they won't think I'm crazy. Well, if to think.at it with a whole new perspective, I might be.
"And if I don't?" He is talking straight, like he doesn't even care. Oh, God, that annoys me more. Is this even him? Is this even James?
"Just leave me be." I reply him, and walk away but unfortunately, he pulls me back, his intense eyes on me.
"What happened?"
"What you caused." I can't believe myself still talking to him, still replying him. "I wasn't given the job. I know you must be the cause. I saw you yesterday at the gala," yeah, I know I just blurt that out. It matters not to me right this minute, "I saw you with Mr. Hitler. I don't even trust you anymore, I don't think I ever know you. You keep things just too much inwardly. You were angry at him the other day," I meant Friday actually, "and then, you still went to the gala with him? And then, you got annoyed again. If I ask what it is, you won't tell me. I should just carry my miserable self away from you." Thanks for ruining me, I should add, but it would have made it more meany. I don't want to sound too meany.
When he says nothing, but looks down, I stride away, but before I can enter the car, he says, "don't leave, please. I'll tell you all you need to know."
"It is over, James. I have no reason to want to know anything further. No reason whatsoever. Always send my regards to Uncle." I intentionally added that, so he'd know that I mean it, that I have made up my mind to interfere with his matters anymore. I'll have to start all over again, seeking for job all over again. I had thought that Black Script is a sure bet, so I didn't apply elsewhere, so I can just divert to their invitation.
Oh, boy, I'll cry like crazy when I get home. I just hope Susan isn't around.
Inside the car, not having started the engine yet, I pick my phone and dial Susan's number. I didn't even look at the rear mirror to see if James is still there or gone.
"Hey, dear." Susan's voice calls me back to the now.
"Hey. Are you still home?"
"Yeah, sure, what's up?" Is she suspicion of anything? I hadn't sounded emotional.
"Nothing."
"Nothing? I expected a jubilation remark like, "hey sis, I got the job!" Something of sort." She is sure suspicious.
"I'm fine, really." I tell her, and she sighs. "Let me give you a call back."
Then, I cut the call when she says nothing.
One place my mind drifts off to immediately is a small bar where I can drink my sorrows away. I know that that's not helping, but then, what's helping in my life now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.