ALICIA
Any moment now. . .
Boom. boom.
Any moment now. . .
Boom boom.
Any moment now . . . I'll be caught and taken home, and then I won't be able to help Ash not act out my vendetta. I shake my head to rid it of the clouds gathering as my heart beats like it actually wants to pop out. I tiptoe toward the ramshackle building. The gun I'm holding with my two hands in front of me is heavy, a testament to how dangerous what I'm about to do is.
Euphoria and anxiety take their toll on me the closer I creep to the building. I stop at the side and lean against the crumbling plaster before looking around. No one is running toward me to stop me, and neither do I hear anyone calling my name. My plans are working out. . . so far, but I won't celebrate yet until I'm inside.
I take a deep breath and tiptoe to where I believe the room Ash and his twin are fighting it out, then I stop and listen. I don't hear any sound so I take a step closer. I don't get very far before I stumble on a stone. I almost fall, if not for my quick reflexes. I reach out and grab a hold of the stone pillar with my right hand and try to steady my breathing which is like a roaring in my ears.
The gun lies limply in my left hand, almost falling off. I lift it in the air, noting how my hands are shaking. I huff silently to myself and clasp it in my two hands, gripping it tightly.
Enough stalling, Alicia, it's time for some action.
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, exhaling from my mouth. When next I open my eyes, I feel better, so I edge closer and step inside the room. No one's here. I realize I must have miscalculated the room they were in. I surge forward, slowing my steps only when I'm standing on the threshold of the other room I definitely know they're in.
This time, I hear some noise. It sounds like a scuffle actually. My heart beat which had been coming under control begins to speed up. With the gun pointed in front of me, I charge inside, and -
I honestly don't know what I thought when I decided to steal Koldis' gun. I don't even know what I thought when I stormed in here, but I definitely did not expect to see an image of Ash, split into two, without any shirt on, hands locked at the wrists, heads hunched, staring at each other. They remind me of two fighting bulls with locked horns, butting each other.
They remain this way, heads bent, eyes unwaveringly locked on each other, until one of them grunts and pulls back. I can't for the life of me know which is the real Ash. They're both wearing black jean pants - I hadn't realized this before - until the one that moved back throws his head back and laughs maniacally.
It's the mad hatter - his laughter echoes all around, and I notice there's something different about it. He sounds unhinged like he's lost his marbles. I'm most definitely sure he's lost them. He bares his teeth and sneers at Ash. "You think just because you have your men surrounding this building, you're going to walk out of this alive?"
Something similar to an electric current slithers down my back. I recognize it as a forewarning or foreshadowing, call it whatever you like, but that feeling of a dark omen slams back inside me. I stifle a whimper and watch as the gun in my hand wavers. Ash's men are too confident of him, and they won't do a damn thing to intercept this fight because he willed it, he gave them the order to step away.
An order is an order, after all, but me - I'm not one of his men. I'm a woman who wants to see the love of her life and her baby's father alive and in one piece. It's going to end here. It's going to end with me. As I walk forward, my left foot hits a stone, and I almost stumble for the second time.
Now, I'm not a suspicious person, but two times in a space of a few minutes is just pushing it. The bad feeling wells up in my throat, threatening to come out as vomit but I swallow it down. I blink repeatedly, trying to free my eyes of sweat which is breaking out all over my face and body, faster than it's ever done before.
I gather myself and watch as the mad hatter holds a five-liter plastic container in the air and pours out some of the content all over his body. He pours the remaining onto the floor and I don't understand what his insane mind has conjured up this time.
He can't say he doesn't see me standing and pointing a gun at him, surely. I've been here for the better part of five minutes and even though I haven't announced my presence, I'm in the direct line of his vision. All the while, Ash says nothing except to stand and watch him.
Do something. My mind screams. You can take him out with your gun. It continues to silently plead, but of course, Ash just stands there, waiting for his mad hatter of a twin to finish whatever the fuck he's doing and get back to fighting him. It makes me wonder who's really the insane one between the two of them.
That's when the smell hits me. Whatever liquid, mad hatter doused himself with is pungent and making me feel like throwing up. It's also a familiar smell that I try to pinpoint but whenever my mind thinks it's getting a hold of it, it skitters away, almost as if it's scared to fathom it.
Think, Alicia, why would mad hatter pour a certain liquid on himself as well as the floor?
My eyes almost bulge out when it hits me. Literally hits me, and I stumble back. It's petroleum. He plans on lighting up this whole building and blowing himself and Ash up. Tears well up in my eyes and I blink them away.
Not if I can help it.
Mad hatter locks hands with Ash once more, and they grapple. It's now or never to end this madness, but just as I aim at mad hatter, he moves, or Ash moves, and, I don't know who kicks who, but one goes tumbling onto the floor, taking the other one with him. They begin hitting each other on the face and chest and rolling.
My hand begins to shake, because how the fuck do I shoot mad hatter. I don't even know who is who anymore. Their figures blur on the ground as they continue to hit each other and roll. Grunts from them have begun to echo all around, and I can't take the torture on my body, on my soul.
Fuck it - I aim at the figures still rolling around, close my eyes, remove the safety, just like Ash taught me. . . and shoot.