Chapter 65
ALICIA
"Stay still, Lis, your hair isn't going to fix itself." Clarissa pulls - hard - at strands of my hair but I don't feel it, all I want to do is sit and stare. "I'm just coming from downstairs, and you need to see all the men. They all look so handsome and dashing. Ash knows people, huh." There's a pause and another tug before she continues speaking. "Fancy hosting a party for senators and I'm invited - yippee!" Her excited squeal is accompanied by yet another hard tug, but I remain mum.
Without turning, I know her eyes have gotten that starry look in them whenever she talks about good-looking men. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell her not to act so excited in the presence of Night Eyes, but I honestly can't summon the words. She tugs at another strand and I know I'm going to have blisters on my scalp soon, but I don't care.
Through the mirror, I dart my eyes to the China dish and feel my eyes fill with tears. Clarissa's hands fall away from my hair. "Liiiss, not today, darling, please." She moves away from behind me and comes to stand in front of me. "I can't lie and tell you I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, but I can very much understand that you're hurting."
I jerk up and walk to the nightstand where the China dish is sitting. Behind me, Clarissa approaches, I can feel her tentative steps as I pick up the dish and clutch it to my chest. I close my eyes and try to squeeze back the tears but they still come out anyway.
My sister is dead because of Ash's maniac look-alike, and I'm all alone wide world. A hand lands on my shoulder and I let loose a whimper before Clarissa pulls me close and holds me tightly to her. Pressed close to her, this way, I'm able to let lose all my tears. When I finally come up for air some seconds after, I feel strangely free.
I swipe my face with the back of my palm and something sticky smears my nose and gets stuck to my hand. I'm an ugly crier, remember, so don't judge! A hankie materializes in my palm and I raise grateful eyes to Clarissa before blowing my nose and cleaning my hand.
I don't know what I would have done without Clarissa's support. She comes every day, commuting from her hostel to Ash's house, after school to see me. I decided to take a year off school - good advice from Ash - to sort myself out, and my pregnancy as well as to mourn.
I realize I'm still clutching the China dish with one hand when Clarissa tries to pry it away from my fingers, but I shake my head. "It's been three months, two weeks, and three hours since she died, Clar, yet the pain is still so rife, still so fresh like it was only yesterday she was murdered."
Clarissa nods but says nothing.
What can she say?
She's been like a mother hen to me ever since - so conciliatory, so patient, always consoling me and telling me it's normal to grieve and feel woe-begotten. She tries to pry the dish from my hand once more but my hand clutches it like a clamp. "I talk to her every day, you know." She nods, yet again, her eyes shining with understanding, but she tries to mask a streak of impatience. "Help me, Clar, because I can't seem to help myself anymore, I just-"
"There she is!" Ash's voice cuts across the long length of the room and I freeze. I don't want him to see me this way. I don't want to give him another reason to worry, what with his mad hatter of a twin brother lose, and a load of his businesses hanging, like a noose, around his neck. I don't want to taint how happy he is about my pregnancy, with my sadness.
No. I won't do that to him.
I swipe at my eyes and practically thrust the China dish into Clarissa's hand before I turn with a thousand-wattage smile pasted across my face. "Babe, you're here."
His strides eat up the distance between us and in a few seconds, he's before me. He cocks his head to the side as he studies my face with a finger tucked underneath his chin and another on his top lip. "Something is missing, I don't know what it is."
He's like a magician as he removes his other hand from behind him and produces a silver casing. He opens it with a flourish, never once taking his eyes off me. My eyes dip to what's inside it and I'm momentarily blindsided by the gasp emanating from Clarissa, or is it coming from me? I can't tell right now.
What I can tell is that I'm staring at an exquisite work of art nestled in between the layers of red silk. It's a bejeweled necklace - one that leaves me breathless. I watch his eyes dip to them, and I gasp this time.
Understand this - it's not the first time he's gifted me jewels, and it probably won't be the last, but the diamonds he brings out are one of the gaudiest as well as the classiest I've ever set my eyes on. They're in a mix of blue and green, the same color as my -
I release another gasp when I realize what Ash did. I raise my eyes at him but he's already watching me. "You did this for me?" Is all I'm able to grate out.
He says nothing except to smile. As he brings it out and puts it around my neck, it glitters as it catches the overhead lights. It settles in between my cleavage, heavy and precious, big and elegant, and I'm reminded that diamonds are indeed a girl's best friend.
Ash is a man with few words, but when he does speak, they're coated with clever intention. As he stares at me, he doesn't need to say much. He doesn't even need to tell me he loves me because his eyes - they're doing all the talking. The force of his emotions is laid bare to me and all I can do is part my lips and drink it all in.
He comes close to me - so close, I can smell his scent - cool water Davidoff - the only scent I'm able to fathom - and he wears it because of me. I can't help it, I lift a hand to his shoulder and he meets me halfway, snaking a hand around my waist as he draws me close and whispers into my ear. "Let me show you to the world."