Chapter 59
ALICIA
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to care if I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to keep.
Wrong prayer.
If I die now, Father in Heaven please accept my sou-
No, no, no, lord, please, no, I don't wanna die, at least not just yet.
A shot rings out, and I crank an eye open. I don't feel any pain, still, I open my second eye and pat my body down checking for a wound or even blood. Relief pours through me when I don't find any, but as I look up, shock spirals through me when I see two men squaring off, guns pointed at each other.
I wonder if, maybe it's a trick of the light or the dizziness assailing me, but after a few seconds of staring aghast at the scene before me, I confirm it - There are indeed two men.
Ash is standing like a white knight in shining armor opposite the man I can now clearly see is not just a look-alike but his split image. Different clothes but the same face.
Ash's mother - wherever she is - has some serious explanations to give Ash. Both of her sons, actually, because - damn - I'm staring at identical twins, and it's freaking me out.
They stare at each other, not saying a word. The saying - as silent as a graveyard - wells up in my mind at how quiet everywhere is. I watch as Ash's face contorts. "Who the fuck are you?"
The man says nothing except to cock his gun and aim it at Ash's head. The sound of a car pulling up distracts me so much that I turn my head away from them. By the time I turn back, Ash's twin is nowhere to be seen and Ash is standing there looking like he's just witnessed an apparition.
From the corner of my eyes, I see the car coming to a halt as Night Eyes comes down with a shaken-up Clarissa beside him. Rip isn't far behind, and all I want to do is kick myself at my sheer stupidity. I could have gotten Clarissa killed. I almost got killed, and then where would that have left my revenge mission. . .
Six feet deep, and a grieving best friend. Maybe a boyfriend as well.
I expect Clarissa to completely ignore me or give me the stink-eye, what bowls me over is how she rushes over to me and clutches me by the neck. She's shaken up, yes, but she's consoling me, telling me everything will be fine.
"Thanks, bestie!" I say shaking my head. "But I should never have put you in harm's way, it was stupid of me."
She shushes me with a hug and assures me she's fine,
and what are besties for?
This girl - she's got such a big heart.
Once we break apart, I look up to see Ash standing in front of me with a cold expression on his face. He says nothing as I stare at him, waiting for a comment, a rebuff - something, anything - but he says nothing, except to return my stare. This makes me feel even worse than I'm feeling.
I should never have left the way I did. I should have told him about the note. I should have told him I was pregnant, I should tell him I'm pregnant, and now I have a lot of explaining to do.
I sink my head in my hands and try my damndest to reign in the waterworks by swiping at my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, but a tear still escapes. I raise my head and smile tremulously at Ash in a bid to break the ice standing between us. "I'm sorry."
"And I'm disappointed." He says immediately and walks away from me. I look to Clarissa who's been standing beside me this whole time. She squeezes my hand and mouths for me to go after him. I nod and do as she says, although I feel like a lamb being led to its slaughter as I follow Ash.
There are two separate cars - It seems Ash first came in one when he found out I'd left the house, and Night Eyes and Rip followed in a second one. I'm suddenly glad Night Eyes and Rip informed him, because if Ash hadn't come in time. . . I shake my head to dispel it of ill-thoughts and quicken my steps after him.
I don't want to further incur his anger. I can feel it rolling off him in waves as I slide inside the car and belt up. Night Eyes walks over to Ash and informs him that he wants to take Clarissa home, but just before I can close my eyes and rest my head, she comes to me and gives me another hug. We don't exchange any more words before she flashes me a shaky smile and follows Night eyes to the other car.
Riding with Ash is like riding with an ice block. I try to diffuse the tense atmosphere by bringing up small talk but it looks like I'm talking to myself. He doesn't respond, doesn't say a word, and doesn't even act like there's anyone else in the car with him. I'm left with questions swimming in my head, like how come he didn't know he had a twin brother, and let's not forget the fact that he wants to kill him.
It's obvious Ash's childhood wasn't stellar or anything close to it, because anytime I asked about his parents, he clamped up and I'd said nothing, because when he's in that mood, it's like talking to a rock, like now.
I'm just wondering how long he'll stay silent, how long he'll stay mad at me, how long he'll remain impassive in the face of the truth. His brother - twin brother - is rack raving insane and needs to be taken out.
I'm still ruminating on all of this when he drives through the gate and heads straight for the spacious garage housing his many other choice cars. As soon as he's turned off the engine, he turns to me. "Get down!"
I scramble out, not wanting to incur his wrath any further, and quick-walk inside the house. Instead of going to the room, I take the lift to the basement where the gym is. I need to clear my head, I need to ruminate on what next to do.
Who am I kidding?
I need to wait for Ash to calm down before I broach - rather - tell him that I'm pregnant for him. I wonder what he'll say. Would he tell me to go fuck myself or get an abortion?
I don't have long to wait.
I hear footsteps on the stone floor indicating the arrival of someone, but instead of facing whoever is coming, like a child playing hide and seek, I duck behind one of the machines. I should have known that won't do anything for me.
"Your attempt at hiding is laughable at best." Ash's voice filters over to where I'm crouched.
I stand up and slowly turn around to see him watching me with a raised brow. I want to say something until I notice the suitcase in his hand. "Who's traveling?"
"You!"
That's when I realize it actually is my suitcase he's holding. My heart bottoms out. Is it what I think it is? "Wh. . what are you trying to tell me?"
"This isn't working, Alicia, I just . . ." He shakes his head sorrowfully. "Can't do this anymore." And my heart shatters from his words as I blink back tears crowding my eyes. "Can't you see - I almost lost you today." He begins to pace and gesticulate."I just. . . "Another sorrowful shake of his head. "I've never felt. . . and you came along. . . and then." Yet another shake of his head as he turns to face me fully, his gaze tinged with sorrow. "You need to disappear."
"Wh. . . what?" Now, it's my turn to sound incoherent. "What. . . do you mean disappear? Where. . . I go? I've got no one. . . whole wide world. . . you. Have you forgotten. . . my sister. . .dead, and-"
"Which is the very reason I need to set you free so you can live your life far away from me without any hookups." He replies, moving close to me and cupping my face. This gesture causes my eyes to flutter close as I breathe him in - his smell I've come to love so much. "This life I've steeped you into isn't just fair to -"
I count to three and open my eyes before blurting out. "I'm pregnant!"