"You acted prematurely, Officer Schneider. The target was already compromised and mentally shaken, incapable of fighting back. Eliminating him was unnecessary. Capturing him alive would’ve provided far more value to Germany."
The moment they returned to the hotel room, Klaus didn’t even allow Julius a moment to sit down before launching into a long, pointed reprimand.
Julius stood near the door without protest, letting the words wash over him.
"You acted emotionally. Do you understand the implications? We could’ve had him alive and drawn out potential information. You threw away months of planning because you lost your composure at the worst possible moment."
That was how it seemed to Klaus. But Julius didn’t defend himself, simply accepting the barrage of words.
"If the operation hadn’t succeeded, and if it hadn’t been your design, I would’ve had you on probation without a second thought—"
"It was necessary, sir."
Klaus’s brows drew together. "What?"
"There is no room for Lukas Meinhardt in this world."
"...."
Klaus stared at him, taken aback. Julius had always been cooperative. It was
precisely why Klaus tolerated his eccentricities to an extent and why he entrusted him with sensitive assignments.
But this was the first time Julius had spoken against him so directly.
"Get your act together, Officer Schneider. I’ll overlook the fact that you contacted the Revenant Knights, as long as they remain nothing more than bystanders to the operation. But there is a process to everything, and I’m sure you’re well aware of that."
"...."
"You don’t get to improvise whenever you feel like it. You don’t get to bring in outside forces without clearance. And you definitely don’t get to jeopardize the chain of command because your emotions got the better of you."
"...."
"Do you understand, Officer Schneider?"
"Yes, sir."
With that, Klaus’s scolding ended. There wasn’t much left for him to criticize. Aside from the way Julius had chosen to end things, the operation itself had been executed perfectly. And for that, Klaus had Julius to thank.
"Next time," Klaus added, "don’t withhold information. If necessary, I’ll secure the clearance myself to request the Revenant Knights’ assistance."
He wasn’t a fool. Klaus, of course, understood that if it had only been the two of them facing Lukas that night, the outcome wouldn’t have been favorable. Even with preparation, Lukas Meinhardt clearly wasn’t an opponent anyone sane wanted to confront directly.
That behemoth of crystalline flesh and rage was a sight Klaus would remember long after this mission was archived, despite all his years serving the Directorate.
"It really makes you wonder how many more are hiding out there."
* * *
Julius paced down the hotel hallway and finally reached for his phone. For the past three months, he had cut off all contact from the outside world, fully immersing himself so deeply into the role that even he began to blur the line between truth and disguise.
There were days he genuinely woke up believing he was Jeremy Stinken, an ordinary elementary school teacher living a quiet life in Hamburg.
That was the danger of deep-cover missions. The longer one lived inside another man’s skin, the easier it became to drown in it.
The phone rang once, then twice, until finally, a click.
——Hello, Mister Schneider?
It was Isolde.
"Yes, Doctor. It’s been a while. Why did you call?"
Of all the numbers Julius had cut off, hers was the only one he kept unblocked. And Isolde, understanding the nature of his undercover work, hadn’t attempted to contact him in the past three months either.
——Pardon? I did? I don’t remember... Ah. Anne!
"...."
——I’m so sorry, Mister Schneider. It must’ve been Anne playing with my phone. I didn’t know she would call you. I’m truly sorry.
"...Is that so? It’s alright. Where’s Anneliese? May I speak with her?"
——Just a moment.
Julius’s hands trembled as he held the phone. The faces of the twins from earlier flashed before him. For reasons he didn’t want to examine, the memory had shaken him more than he expected.
Despite everything he had endured, something inside him had changed after regression. He thought he had mastered the art of detachment, that he had learned to sever emotion from duty completely.
But tonight had proved otherwise.
And what disgusted him most was the nature of that reaction. The pity that had surfaced. The hesitation in his hands. The ache that struck him when he saw the fear in their little faces.
They were Glasshearts. Half human or not, they were still Glasshearts.
He closed his eyes, clenching his teeth as a certain voice resurfaced in the back of his mind.
——Mister, you really get all edgy whenever I mention Glasshearts, huh?
’They’re the reason we ended up like this.’
——That’s not fair, don’t you think? You can’t blame an entire race for what a few did.
’You really speak too freely, Anneliese. You should learn when to shut your mouth.’
——Nuh-uh. I have every reason to kill you, Mister, and it would be justified. It was you and the higher-ups who killed my mom. But I don’t hold it against you, do I? Why? Because I know Mister was never involved in it, even if he was part of Dream.
’....’
He had no answer for her at the time. He still had none now.
——They’re just as human as us, those Glasshearts.
’You must be mentally ill. Are you autistic?’
——....
That day, Anneliese had gone silent.
She did not argue, did not tease him, did not even look in his direction after muttering that she really was mentally ill. Julius remembered feeling confused at the time, wondering why she reacted so strongly. He thought she simply had a thin temper or an overdramatic streak.
But now, he finally understood why those words had struck her so deeply.
——Hello, Mister?
A small voice echoed through the phone, pulling him back to the present. Julius held the device closer to his ear.
"Ah, hello? Is this Anneliese?"
——Uh-huh! It’s Anne! Where is Mister?
"Oh, wow."
Julius let out a chuckle. In just three months, Anneliese’s speech had improved tremendously. Before he left for the assignment, Anneliese struggled with several German sounds.
It must have been Isolde’s SIBYL.
Julius leaned against the wall, listening to the little girl chatter through the phone. The improvement truly shocked him in an exaggerated way. It was strange, hearing how quickly she had grown in just a few months, as if the world had moved forward without him.
——Mister, why haven’t you been visiting Anne?
Her tone was clearer now, in the way a child her age should sound. For a reason he refused to name, Julius’s eyes stung. It crawled up his chest slowly until it pressed heavily against his throat.
"Yeah? I’ll come visit you soon. I’ve just been... busy."
——What’s wrong with your voice, Mister?
"My voice...? Ah... what’s wrong with it? I’m... just glad. Really glad..."
——Glad? Uhm, Anne doesn’t know that word. But Mister sounds sad. Mommy gives Anne chocolate when Anne is sad. Does Mister want chocolates too?
"Chocolates? Yeah, why not? Hah... Haha..."
Julius slid down the wall until he sat on the cold floor, one hand covering his face. In the back of his mind, he saw two little girls screaming for their father. Two little girls reaching out for someone he had already taken from them.
Those twins who had trusted him as if he were a second parent. Those twins who had looked up to him with bright eyes. Those twins who would wake up tomorrow without a father.
——Can you teach Anne German when you visit, Mister? Anne thinks Mister is really good at German.
"Yeah, yeah. Definitely. I will. As much as you want... Helga..."
A sob escaped his lips. He pressed a hand against his mouth, but it did nothing. The sound still escaped. The image of their faces would not leave him.
——Who’s Helga?
"Yeah... Alina, you have to fix your erasing habits. It makes the paper really dirty..."
——Mister? Who are Helga and Alina?
"Yeah, yeah. Teacher is sorry, he’s really sorry... You two are such good children. You didn’t deserve the grades I took from you. I’m sorry, okay? You two were the best students in class."
His voice fell apart by the last word, trembling, cracking, and collapsing entirely.
——Uhm, Mister Schneider? Anne says she’s going to sleep. Have you said what you needed to say?
Julius wiped his face with the back of his hand.
"Hello, Doctor. Yeah... yeah. Tell Anne I said goodnight."
There was a pause on the other end.
——Is something the matter?
"Something the matter...? I’m just... lost," he muttered. "Really lost... and I don’t like it..."
His fingers tightened around the phone as his voice cracked again.
"I don’t like this. Losing control over myself. I don’t like it at all..."
The illusion he had built for himself began to crack in places he could no longer hide.
Julius had always believed that detachment was his greatest strength. He had convinced himself he could break families apart with not a single shred of mercy. That he could approach every assignment with cold clarity, that he could deprive children of their parents and parents of their children without ever shaking.
It was how the Directorate operated, after all, and he had played the role with terrifying perfection for a whole decade.
But that belief had been the biggest lie he had ever sold himself. Back then, and even now.
"When did I grow this soft...?"
Which one really was Julius Sebastian Schneider?
[AN]
End of Volume 1.