Jim is the instructor of Bricks, Pipes, Anything Sharp, famed for his unmatched creativity in turning the useless into weapons. He made a career on brutality, on proving that with enough imagination, anything could kill. Cadets spoke of him as the man who could murder armies with nothing but a dining set.
But the story of Jim’s heart, the moment he fell in love, did not happen in the Citadel. It happened on the battlefield.
During the Legion’s campaigns, Jim fought alongside Alorna Peace in a skirmish against Princedom forces. The fighting was vicious, close-quarters, steel and blood in the mud. Jim was doing what he did best, breaking bones with rusted rebar, choking men with belts torn from their own uniforms, when he stopped cold.
Because Alorna was there.
He watched her rip eyes out of the skull of an enemy soldier with her bare hands. Then, with cold precision, she used the man’s own eyeballs to suffocate him.
Jim, the master of improvised killing, froze. And then he laughed. Not at her, not at the absurdity of it, but at the recognition: she had surpassed him.
His words, In that moment:
“I’ve met the goddess of violence. And her name is Alorna Peace. Someday I will marry her”
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From that moment, he was lost.
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Jim has tried everything, each attempt more absurd than the last.
The Instructors’ Bets
The other instructors watch every attempt like spectators at a pit fight. They don’t place formal pools; they bet between one another with Bragging rights, favors, keeping score on who can predict Jim’s latest failure.
To them, Jim’s persistence isn’t tragic. It’s hilarious. Every “date attempt” is a private show Alorna answering in flawless stick figures, Jim refusing to give up, and the rest of them tallying victories in their own little ledger.