"Yes, I am Suo Lun, I am that bastard!"
Upon getting this answer, Yan Nai’er’s tears couldn’t be stopped; they just kept streaming endlessly.
She didn’t cry out loud, but her delicate body began to convulse, and her tear-blurred eyes remained fixed on Suo Lun.
This silent weeping pained Suo Lun’s heart almost to the point of twisting.
He was not the real Suo Lun, nor had he shared that love with Yan Nai’er. But at this moment, he completely immersed himself in Suo Lun’s identity, as if he were the scoundrel who had led her on and then abandoned her, the man who had hurt her so badly that she was left in shambles.
He reached out tentatively to wipe away the tears on her face, but halfway through, he found himself unable to reach any further.
Yan Nai’er was so overcome with grief that she could hardly speak. Several minutes later, she looked at Suo Lun hoarsely asked, "Why?"
Her "why" was entirely in Yan Nai’er’s naive voice, the cold frostiness of Yan Shuang had vanished without a trace.
Her "why" was abrupt, but Suo Lun understood immediately what she meant to ask.
Why did he abandon her? Was she not beautiful enough, or did she not do enough?
Suo Lun closed his eyes and let his emotions fill the role of the prodigal Suo Lun, his voice trembling, "You... were like an angel that had descended to earth by accident, so beautiful, so pure. I was attracted to your beauty, and I pursued you recklessly, not out of love but out of a playboy’s desire to conquer that beauty."
Yan Nai’er said, "So what? If there’s no love in the beginning, it can still turn into true love later on."
Suo Lun said, "The more I spent time with you, the beauty of your soul was like a vortex, drawing me in, making me afraid, making me despise my vulgarity. I am such a vile and filthy person, how could I be worthy of your beautiful soul. I’ve thought countless times about just curbing my philandering ways and spending a lifetime with you. But... a child who loves to play could never settle his heart. Moreover, I couldn’t truly marry you because I had a marriage arrangement with Gui Qinshao. Whenever I saw that innocent love in your eyes, I would remember that when I started pursuing you, it was with the intention to play with your feelings. I even had planned to break up with you after sleeping with you twenty times. But as I watched your naive, beautiful ways, my sense of guilt grew. I couldn’t give you a future, so it’s better to end the pain quickly than to let it drag on. A scum like me... doesn’t deserve an angel like you. You should be protected for a lifetime by a man like Liu Chen, treasured and cherished."
At this point, Yan Nai’er’s tears surged again, and she couldn’t help but start to cry out loud, covering her mouth with her hands, struggling to suppress her sobs, causing her entire delicate body to tremble violently.
"And I was afraid... I would truly fall in love with you, and that would be a complete tragedy for me and for my family," Suo Lun gasped for air, "So I not only broke up with you decisively, but to cut off all paths for myself, I immediately pursued Princess Zhining. Then, like a child who loves to play, I was drawn to another beautiful woman and dove in even more crazily. I pursued Princess Zhining so fervently because I knew there was no future for us, and we didn’t need one."
Every sentence Suo Lun spoke was the truth. Not his truth, but the truth of that profligate Suo Lun.
Eventually, Suo Lun, the scum, had the opportunity to fully take advantage of Yan Nai’er. Because she was desperate to salvage their relationship, she had let go of her pride and conservatism and actively tried to please Suo Lun.
However, Suo Lun didn’t even touch her but instead dodged her quickly.
By that time, he was already treasuring and protecting Yan Nai’er’s pearl-like purity, not willing to tarnish or hurt her any further.
And indeed, a swift end to the pain was better than a drawn-out one, so he broke up decisively.
This breakup was in itself a form of protection, because a scoundrel like him had no future with Yan Nai’er, so she had to be set free.
But he still wasn’t mature enough, turning this protective farewell into a greater harm.
That scum Suo Lun must have thought that way, like a movie villain who, upon seeing a cute and pure baby infant, would feel compassion, not bear to harm it, and instead would go to great lengths to protect it.
Yan Nai’er, who had only recently escaped from her father’s side, was so innocent she was like an untainted pearl. Thus, she attracted a carefree, boundlessly talented man like Liu Chen. But, due to his deep love for her, Liu Chen was overly cautious, fearing the slightest scare to her, which made him incapable of touching her heart.
But Suo Lun, the scum, was different; he charged recklessly, like a wild boar that didn’t care if it was ordinary cabbage or priceless jade cabbage—it would just ravage first and think later.
Tragically, this jade cabbage was too pure and was thus harshly ravaged.
Of course, Suo Lun, the wild boar, had the chance to devour this jade cabbage completely, but ultimately he realized its incalculable value and couldn’t bear to harm it, carefully placing the cabbage back in the garden.
Like all abandoned girls, they all want an answer, the reason why they were abandoned.
Now, Yan Nai’er had her answer. But for some reason, her heart felt even more grief.