At Silje’s outburst, Olga exploded, “Yes! I am saying that! I don’t care about you! Did you really think you would be accepted if you gave birth to Rolf Bruntland’s grandchild? All I feel is appreciation for Ingrid. She took care of everything. If she didn’t, I would’ve done it myself.”
Olga’s words hurt, but Silje didn’t believe Olga meant what she said.
It was because Olga’s red eyes were filling up with tears.
Silje thought that perhaps her adoptive mother felt more hurt than herself. No mother in the world would feel fine if their daughter got hurt. Silje felt even more sorry and guilty.
Panting angrily, Olga handed Silje a plane ticket.
“I won’t say anymore. Silje, you remember your aunt who lives in New York, right? Aunt Skina? She sends us Christmas cards every year. Go live with your aunt. I have already confirmed with her that you are going. It has been taken care of.”
Olga’s face reddened even more as she stared at Silje. She continued, “Silje, there was a savings account in your name with a monthly deposit for many years and I withdrew everything. It was over 5,000 krones and I wired it to your aunt already, so go live there with her for a while. After some time, I will call you once I figure out what to do with you. You may have to stay in New York forever or perhaps, you can come back to Norway someday. But right now, you need to leave Norway. You can’t live here! I can’t let anyone find out about you. You should live somewhere else for a few years, alright?”
“But Mom…”
Silje wanted to say no, but Olga wouldn’t let her speak. She added, “If you have any conscience left, you should be thankful that I am doing this for you. Silje, don’t you get it? Despite what you have done to our family, I am still not disowning you. How many years did we raise you? If you feel sorry at all, this is what you need to do. Go to New York, Silje.”
And just like that, it was decided.
Limping heavily, Silje got into the taxi with Olga’s help and returned home. In her dark bedroom, she laid on her bed and didn’t move for a very long time. She was in her familiar room, but it felt different. Silje stared at the white curtain that danced whenever the wind seeped through the closed window. She knew she would never be able to go back to being an innocent girl anymore.
So this was how it was going to end. Her womb was scraped clean, and her baby cut into pieces.
Before she could even heal, Silje was to be sent away to a far away place.
She bit her lips quietly. She couldn’t feel any worse.
“Silje, you got on an airplane when you were a baby and came to live with us in Norway. We were told that you were born in Seoul. We don’t know who your birth parents are.”
Silje was adopted when she was only a baby. She was abandoned by her parents, so she didn’t know exactly where or when she was born.
She had a happy childhood in Norway. When she was little, she was just like any other little girl. She was pouty and demanding, but soon, Silje learned that she was not like the other girls. She had to grow up quickly and learned not to cry. No one had to tell her that she looked different than her white parents. Silje instinctively knew that if she made trouble, she was going to be abandoned again.
Of course, her adoptive parents loved her in their own way, but the difference in their appearances was enough for Silje to build a wall around her. They weren’t her real parents.
She could be abandoned again.
Silje knew she had to be careful at all times, and she was so close to getting out of her unhappy life.
So close…
But it was all over. And now, she even lost a precious life that was growing inside of her.
Forever.
It was bad enough that she had to live as an adopted child in this land, but Silje also ended up losing a baby in the most violent way.
Was this her fate?
Silje was so devastated that she couldn’t even cry anymore.
She lost her baby, lost it forever and she will never be able to get it back. She couldn’t go back in time, and she couldn’t make it better. Silje blinked her reddened eyes and murmured to herself.
“I am not fit to be a mother, since I lost my own child… I lost an innocent precious life I was supposed to protect.”
She loved Kail and that was why despite all the risks, Silje accepted him.
And they made a baby together.
There was no way Silje could be forgiven for this. It was mainly her fault. She lost their baby…
When she agreed to date Kail, Silje knew it wasn’t going to be a normal average relationship. Kail was different.
Wild and animalistic.
He was a Bruntland who grew up like a wildling in Greenland with his grandfather.
However, this was not what she expected. Silje shouldn’t have lost her innocent baby in the most barbaric way.
This was all her fault.
‘Silje! Silje!’
She felt like she could hear Kail calling out for her from somewhere.
The beautiful happy times they spent together seemed like a distant memory now. They were madly in love with each other.
The time in the secret summer forest…
The intense understanding they felt for each other…
And now, she had to live with it all. She had no choice.
Giving up her life was not an option. Her lost baby would not want that for her.
Silje sighed deeply in pain. If she had to live this life, she had to endure the pain that came with it. It was unbearable right now, like being in the ocean during a storm, but someday, things will calm down.
In time, Silje believed she could perhaps find some peace.
But not now.
Her mind tried to understand and make sense of it, but her body reacted differently.
“Gyaa!! Ahh! Kkk!”
She tried to calm down, but this was the most pain Silje ever felt in her life. Her little body couldn’t take it anymore, and she went into a seizure.
“Ahhh! Gg… No…! My… baby!”
She had no control over her body.
“Ahhh… M…my…baby!”
Silje went through three seizures that night.
Her hands and feet became stiff and numb, and her entire body turned white. She panted, and when she finally looked like she was suffocating, Olga said to Valter emotionlessly, “Valter, take your sister to the hospital.”