Pale face covered in wounds.
Tubes going into his mouth to hook him to a ventilator.
Kail was barely breathing, but despite the desperate situation, he still looked like a beautiful deity underneath the blue moon.
Silje stared at him. She looked calm on the outside, but she felt her heart breaking on the inside.
The noises from the medical devices were disturbing, making her frown.
“Are you happy now? You made me into this weak woman. You made me feel such strong emotions… Fine, I will admit it. Looking at you like this is killing me. You once told me that I drove you to madness. You are doing the same to me… You flew halfway across the world to chase me and you have caused me so much pain. Are you happy now? Answer me! Kail!”
Silence.
It felt like she was standing in a cold graveyard. Watching him looking helpless, Silje put her hand on her chest and said to him slowly, “You won. You have ruined me, so you got what you wanted. You’ve made me say things I would’ve never said before. Watching you like this… My heart aches so painfully. I am trying to pretend to be fine with all this, but I’m not. I’m not okay.”
Silje continued quietly, “If you weren’t on your deathbed, I wouldn’t be able to say things like this to you. I am a coward, and you are the one who made me this way, Kail. I… I am begging you… to live. Please…”
Silje rubbed her cheek against his slowly. She caressed his hair and while looking down at him, she kissed his pale cold cheek.
Thankfully, his skin still had some warmth, and she kissed his cheeks again and again. Silje wanted to confirm that he was still with her, that he was still alive. She felt desperate, but oddly enough, her face still looked calm.
In fact, she looked determined.
“…”
When the silence stretched out, however, Silje started to lose her composure.
Click.
She picked up her purse and walked towards the door. She looked cold and uncaring like an ice queen.
The sound of her high heels echoed throughout the room and when she reached the door, she opened it but slammed it shut without leaving.
She turned around and walked back to him.
“You made me cross the line for the first time in my life. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve followed my plan. I would’ve continued to work in Norway to achieve my independence. But… everything changed because of you.”
Large teardrops rolled down from her eyes silently.
Silky black hair and attractive features.
Silje Kim was recognized by some of the doctors and nurses and they murmured among themselves about what a cold beauty she was.
The gorgeous model Silje Kim was crying silently for a man.
She never wanted to admit it. It was an emotion that was buried deep inside of her, but she now felt necessary to reveal it to him. Her voice trembled.
“I never thought it would happen to me, but because of you, I fell in love and I had a baby. Our baby… But I failed to protect our baby and I ran away. This is what you did to me. You have changed my life completely… I was put in an impossible situation, but I tried my best to endure it all. To survive in this world… Until now.”
Silje confessed to him quietly.
“But looking at you like this… Watching you die made something inside of me crumble. I’m sure I will go on living just fine even if you are gone from this world, but my heart will forever be frozen. I will live an empty life. You have turned me into this weak emotional woman. Are you satisfied now? Answer me.”
Silje bit her lips to stop herself from crying. She paled as she glared at Kail’s face.
“I will never forgive you. I can’t! Do you think I would thank you if you left me like this?”
Black tears.
Her mascara-tinged black tears rolled down her cheeks and Silje dabbed them away with her sleeves. Silje bit her lips again and murmured, “This is so like you to hurt me like this. To die like this… How cruel and frustrating.”
Silje was sad.
Kail continued to be silent, and Silje rubbed her cheek against his again. She kissed him and tried to get closer to him.
She knew she was being ridiculous, but Silje craved his warmth frantically. At this moment, she needed him. She needed his soul to be hers.
When visiting hours were over, Silje had to be dragged out by a nurse.
Even as she was pulled away from him, she murmured, “Are you happy now? You have ruined me. Is this your revenge?”
Kail’s love. Kail’s revenge.
***
“A long long time ago, a Sami girl lived in the cold northern land. The Eskimo girl drank reindeer blood and sang every day. She sang that her love will come back from his death. She sang the Requiem of Soul over and over again. She continued to sing and pray while her dead lover remained frozen. His body roamed among the icebergs until he reached the world of gods, thanks to the girl’s song.”
Silje continued speaking quietly in the hospital room.
“The girl didn’t care that no one answered her song. She didn’t care that her body died slowly in the cold. She didn’t mind the pain and the loneliness because her lover’s blood ran deep within her. Isn’t it strange? Although it was cold outside, she still felt warm. It was because she knew she would be with him forever. The girl knew that no matter what happened, her lover would come back to her.”
She looked at Kail who was still deathly pale. He looked like he really was dead.
It seemed hopeless. It didn’t seem like he would ever wake up.
Would she able to let him go?
Silje asked herself.
Not yet.
Her heart said to her that it was not possible, and this meant that Silje had to do what she had to do.
She knew what to do.
Slowly, she opened her clutch and took out a small pair of scissors.
They were brow shaping scissors and holding it silently, she looked down at Kail.