He kissed her hard. Punishing. He wanted to punish her for being so wickedly sexy without her even knowing it. She is like a seductress masked with a convincing mask of innocence. Very convincing. But he is sure she doesn't know anything about her true effect on him at what she was doing right now. He felt like his demons are trying to break loose, and his willpower to wait for the right time was wearing off as seduction dances around him. Teasing. Enticing him to indulge. As if a demon inside him whispers, "She asked for it, go on. You will be a bad husband if you turn her down." While his sanity is boosting his determination saying, "She doesn't know what she is asking for, you waited for a long time, why not wait a little bit more, she will hate you if she becomes too bruised to even walk down the aisle!" He pulled her up to sit on his lap and hold her tight. He needed to restrain his hands from roaming and rubbing her legs and feet. He clasped both his hands with her.
“Anna... Anna" He chanted her name. He agonizingly called her name in a very hoarse voice. "We can’t do it today." Even the only thought of what his words were meant to say burns him. A certain and specific part of his anatomy can definitely stand witness to that claim. Irrefutable. He wanted to curse, but he is also worried it would turn her off about him. And as a refined man that he is, he had never really been fond of using such foul language unless he is very, very angry. But today, he realized one thing, he realized why most people curse during their intimate time with their partner. It's the feeling of intoxicating pleasure that overwhelms one's mind. The word may originally be foul and revolting, but it seems to pop out during intimacy due to an indescribable feeling of euphoria. Still, he bit his tongue, refraining those words to be released.
"But.... we can try something else. Similar to what you want. Just similar, not the real thing. How about that?” He wrapped her in his hot embrace. He can no longer hide his arousal as his manhood stands in snappy attention inside his pants.
“Why can’t we do it today? Why?” She insisted. Confused. She was looking so wickedly seductive while her eyes are pitifully looking at him. As if he was just making an excuse by saying so when the fact is he is not willing because he wasn't interested. She felt like she was offering herself while he is refusing. She couldn't help her tears cloud her sight. She felt she was disrespecting herself by doing such things as asking him to make love to her.
Jayson was so turned on with her crystal clear purity that he was having a hard time convincing his sexual urges to back down.
"Tell me first," he caressed her softly, comforting her not to cry. He felt his heart ached, gazing at her pitiful look. "Why do you wanna do it today? Then I will tell you why we can’t," with difficulty, he tried to smile normally. He must look awful doing so, but good thing her back was on him. She can't see his face right now. Calming himself, even just a little as he playfully touched her by running his hands up and down her left arms with his fingertips slightly touching her skin. He still wanted to hold his reins and handle the situation for the best results he can manage despite his raging desire to satisfy her wishes.
“What if I can't satisfy you and you cheat on me with other women?" she worriedly answered in a soft voice.
Jayson chuckled at her reason and pecked kisses on her hands.
“I promise I won’t." He raised his right hand as a sign of oath. "And as for the reason we can’t do it today..." He took a deep breath. He wasn't so sure his sanity was holding on. His imaginations are running wild and crazy. His voice was almost raspy when he continued. "The reason is that you will feel sore after, and it might be difficult for you to walk down the aisle tomorrow. Because I am going to make love to you until you are satisfied, and then I will be satisfied.” He playfully and teasingly touched as he answered her.
She was a bit terrified. But then she has heard first times do hurt. Only she didn't know the extent of that pain. She was half-convinced but still half disappointed. All her emotions were sticking out like a sore thumb on her face.
“But we can try something we can both enjoy, would you like that?”Jayson suggested. He can still please her in ways without actually penetrating her. That would be the only reason she could be sore anyway. And like a child granted of her wishes, her face beamed. She hurriedly nodded her head which made him smile wider.
"Oh, dear!" he turned her around, seated on his lap facing him. He wiped her tear-clouded eyes. He wanted to make sure she knew his honest thoughts. "You should know that I am not in any way, never in any way, rejecting you. God knows how much I want to make love to you. Prove to you that this matter will never be an issue in our lives as a couple. And I will never cheat on you. I will only be yours as you will only be mine. Okay?"
"You don't know that yet," still she reasoned. She isn't so confident she can fulfill his needs. She doesn't know much about sex from personal experience. So she was still worried and reluctant.
"Well, I have to make sure I meet your needs and satisfaction." He politely answered.
"I do not doubt that, even for a single thought." She answered. "I worry I might disappoint you. I really have no hands-on knowledge about this matrimonial duty. I should have indulged himself, just like my friends."