Amanda
For the first few months of our trials we just felt "Nothing"
Not being able to get pregnant in the next six months was getting me "frustrated" but not "alarming" because i knew...
“Infertility is a couple's inability to achieve pregnancy after a year of unprotected intercourse”.
So we still chilled and continued our Romeo and Juliet's life style.
But after 15months, the issue shook my faith.
I was crumbling and felt very isolated with my inability to conceive.
Ademi was getting scared and worried day by day, when he realized "going to my plaza" which is my favorite thing became my worst enemy.
Don't blame me!
"Anytime I decide to go, I kept coming across pregnant women,
Even about 4 of my employees were also pregnant"
Every little girl hawking on the streets were pregnant to me.
Even my own televisions and phones #betrayed# me....
"Every movie is about pregnancy"
"Facebook, Twitter even Instagram were also adding petrol inside fire"
Tunde was the one that insisted we stop our self-imposed platitudes ( An often quoted-saying that is supposed to be meaningful but has become unoriginal).
"It will happen on God's own timing"
We then went to the hospital for check up or something and just like that...
"I was diagnosed
CANDIDIASIS."
The word sounded Spanish or the name of one "hideout" in another planet.
Until Ahmed (Dr.), Tunde's friend working in Baba's hospital gave explanations.
“Candidiasis is a Vulvovaginal infection caused by a FUNGAL called Candida.”
He said according to the test results,it has been in my viginal for over a year but gave no symptom {Asymptomatic}.
Although the infection can occur and give rapid symptoms for people with low immunity; so was treated immediately.
“But Mrs Amanda Adeboye's own was as a result of long term use of ORAL CONTRACEPTIVES”
All those times we wanted to enjoy our early years of marriage;
Tunde and I concluded on using those pills.
"I used them for 2 years,
2 months, 2 weeks and 9days"
I cried like never before; hubby took me home, made sure I ate and rested well. So we could commence treatment ASAP.
*********
Thinking I was the only one crying;
Stood up to pee in the middle of the night and was hearing faint sobs.
I quickly eased and clean up then gently (without slippers), following the noise;
Only for the to see Ademi, on the floor in the sitting room, crying like a new born whose mother abandoned.
He was talking to himself and crying at the same time.
..."I am the cause"; was actually the only thing I heard...
"I am also the cause" then he looked up..
Oh! I didn't know i said that aloud.
Then went sitting by his side on the floor...
"I also wanted to enjoy marriage without distractions. I brought the idea" I reminded him.
We both cried till our eyes were tired, and slept in the sitting room.
Waking in the morning, Ademi had already prepared breakfast, and pasted the inscribed word on the wall
"Remain strong for our babies and cry no more"
Wondering where he was, I heard his voice behind me
'That means nobody is allowed to shed tears, because of this issue..... Get dressed and let's go tackle this candy, cassa, can drink erhm... Cardi-whatever'
*********
Getting to the hospital, for treatment to commence;
A nurse educated hubby and I,
Her education included
*Assisting each other in reducing stress
*Encouraging each other
*Cooperation and support which fosters understanding.
Because, as she mentioned; “the treatments are expensive, time-consuming, invasive and stressful , so we need to work together in order to deal with the process.”
We thanked her and Tunde even offered her some money but she refused... Saying 'she was only doing her job'.
If only our relatives gave us more time; they would definitely see our kids......
If only...... If only...., just a little time.
But I'm bothered because they were close and never even pressurized us....
Why the sudden change of attitude???....
"I don't understand what's going on"