After arriving at the villa we all set out to look for our rooms, as expected, the place is huge and very beautiful, it has five gigantic rooms, each one with air conditioning and its own bathroom, an entertainment room with beautiful sofas, and a huge flat screen, the kitchen is a pleasure to see, spacious and very clean, not to mention the sea view, it is beautiful!
Kahin refuses to sleep with me and does not hide it, he says it openly and that makes me feel bad, I do not care that he does not sleep with me, but the sensitivity and pain that I feel make that affect me.
When I see the room that touched me, I smile, it has a small porch, I go out and sit on the floor to appreciate the sea, it is sunset and it looks wonderful.
"Hello skinny" Carla, who is sitting next to me greets me as she hugs me, "do you want to talk about it?"
I shake my head, "I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about," I sigh and smile to reassure her.
"Nothing is okay, you don't always have to be strong Marilí, it's okay to cry from time to time, it's okay to fail at times, and even more important, it's okay to make mistakes, I know that Ian hurts you. Come on, cry and unburden yourself, I'll be here for you." Hearing the words of my friend is as if they open the shell in which I am stuck in and all my feelings come to the surface, the tears flow from my eyes. Hugging my friend tighter, I let the sobs come out all they want.
“We hurt each other Carla, I just wanted to help my mother, I didn't mean to deceive him, but him? He only cheated on me because an attractive woman got in his way, I loved him ... I loved him too much." My friend comforts me.
"He doesn't deserve your tears or your sadness, that guy was an idiot Marilí" the tone of her voice catches my attention, I look at her and she at me, "it was only enough to agree with Kahin to prove it."
I do not understand what she is saying, so I ask, "what are you talking about?" My friend looks away and looks in the direction of the sea.
"You know I never liked him, I always knew he was a jerk, but I had no way to prove it, not until Kahin called me and we saw each other, that girl was just a decoy and he fell on the spot" she looks at me, "Marili, the girl got all the information out of him, all his adventures, and the idiot told each and every one of them proud of himself."
Hearing that breaks my soul more, "was he cheating on me?" My friend nods with hatred.
"That idiot was fooling you from the beginning, it's like Kahin says, what man waits for a whole year for a woman for sex? Either he is one who really loves you, or is it one that betrays you, and you get the second, Kahin Hamann, that man for whom you make life miserable, he did you a favor."
A scream comes out of my throat, 'how is it possible that my sweet boyfriend was capable of doing something like that? Why would he do something like that to me?' "I'm devastated, I don't want to appear strong anymore, I can't handle this anymore Carla... My boyfriend was cheating on me and now I belong to Kahin like property, what else should I do so that people don't abuse me anymore? I am everything that Mom taught me, I am intelligent, I always make sure that I am one step ahead of anyone, I do not leave anyone and I always try to be perfect, why is that still not enough?" My friend says nothing, just strokes my hair.
"Girls?" Hearing Kahin's voice makes me shut up, I try to wipe my tears quickly but to no avail.
"What's going on?" My friend gets up, but I pull her, "you will be very skinny, what you do is not a sin nor is it bad" She lets go of me, now it's Kahin who sits next to me.
"You're crying? Did you really do it?" His question is sincere and shocking, but for some reason, it irritates me.
"Yes... I cry, I'm human okay? I also feel, it also hurts and although most of the time I avoid all this, I still feel it." I don't look at him, I can't, he wouldn't be able to understand my suffering.
"I'm sorry, it's just that you seem so insufferable and so..." I look him, hurt for believing that of me. He shut up immediately, "sorry" he clears his throat, I am putting him in an uncomfortable situation, my crying and the feeling with which I do it. I know he is not amused, I doubt that he has been in such a situation before, "it is not mandatory that you stay here, I am only here to have sex with you and nothing else, if you want you can go, it will pass and I will be the one from hours before," I feel him turn my head by my chin and he forces me to look at him, "I want to stay with you, I want to accompany you and help you make that pain disappear from you," gently, h wipe my tears, "that asshole doesn't deserve your tears, he doesn't deserve anything from you." He settles down and faces me, "when Carla told me about her suspicions, I couldn't stand idly by, I can't allow them to hurt you..." He is silent for a few seconds, his words confuse me.
"Why?" I ask him “why do you want to take care of me? You act like you want to protect me, but you do it the wrong way," now he is the one who looks away.
"I don't know...It's just that you... You... You're different and you create confusion in me that I don't understand and it gets more and more complicated," I nod without knowing what he's talking about, “I just want you to stop suffering for that idiot, he doesn't deserve it, I want you to smile in that wonderful way that you do, I want you to be the one that for an' A has a B, C, D and E'."
I smile at what he says."Thank you," I whisper between a sob, "thank you for trying to make me feel better, you are not the best in the field, but at least you have tried," I laugh at his face.
"And yes, there she is, rising from the ashes like a phoenix" he smiles and caresses my cheek, "this is how I like looking at you, this is the girl I like to argue with and get turned on."
I'm the one who rolls my eyes, "do not even think about it Hamann, you will not touch a hair on me nor do you think that I will not make you pay for that bad move you have made me," he kisses me, he kisses me in a delicate and cuddly way.
"I already told you, I did it because it was the only option to keep seeing you," he says between kisses.
"You can give me my freedom and still see me," I whisper between his lips, he turns away from me and denies, he looks into my eyes.
"I know you will disappear and I don't want to stop seeing you, I want to keep having you to myself..."
I grunt, I knew this was all a façade, "I hate that you act like things matter to you and it's only for your own convenience" I get up now furious, "have you ever done something that is really to help?" He tries to grab me, but I don't allow it, I walk into the room.