Nandini
I wake up the following morning, disoriented, and with a slight headache.
Finding myself in an unfamiliar room, a jolt of fear passes through me, and I immediately sit up. But the very next second, the cognizance dawns on me, and I realize I was sleeping on the sofa in the corner of my husband’s room.
A husband who has made it clear that he won’t accept me as his wife.
That thought causes a wave of pain to wash through me.
Unable to sleep after what Manik told me last night, I had tossed and turned the entire night.
I was even tempted to leave this house, not wanting to be here for a second after what Manik said to me.
But then, I remembered I had nowhere else to go. I knew my parents would not take me back now as they had finally gotten rid of the daughter they never wanted. And I do not have any money too, so I cannot get a place to rent.
My eyes tear up as I look at Manik sleeping soundly on the bed.
I do not know why this keeps happening with me. I had hoped that after being unwanted by my parents my whole life, I would at least get a loving husband who would make me feel wanted.
But I was wrong.
Another relation in my life where I am just a burden, unwanted as I have always been.
I close my eyes, letting the tears slide down my cheeks.
Unable to control my sobs, I run to the bathroom, not wanting Manik to see me like this if he woke up.
Once inside, I close the door and slump against it.
I give myself a few minutes to cry. To let my angst pour out. Taking care not to mke too much noise.
After a while, I stand up straight, and wiping the tears, I washe my face.
"You will not cry anymore, Nandini. You have bore this your whole life. You just have to take one day at a time and keep moving on till the time you become independent," I say, looking at myself in the mirror on the wall above the sink.
Why did he marry me if he did not want to accept me as his wife?
That question has been plaguing my mind since last night, and I want to confront Manik about it.
But I cannot bring myself to do it because I have never been good with arguments and confrontations.
Being an introvert, I have always to keep communication with others to a minimum.
In fact, I only talk with the people with whom I am comfortable enough.
And that had only been Vivek. Other than my broter, I had no one else with whom I could share my problems and worries.
"And now, Vivek is not with me too," I whisper, feeling her eyes tearing up again.
However, this time, I immediately wipe my tears, willing myself to be strong.
"I cannot just keep wallowing in my grief. I need to do something to get out of this situation."
Last night, after thinking about what Manik said and what I need to do next, I decided I would get a job first, continue my study, and move out of this house after saving enough money to afford a new place.
I do not want to continue to live in a house with a husband who will never accept me as his wife.
Yes. The first step would be to get a job.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself, strengthening my resolve as I think about what I need to do to move away from this mess and start a new chapter in my life.
***********
Manik
Taking a towel from the cupboard, I am about to walk to the bathroom to get ready for the day when I see Nandini coming out of there.
She seems to be freshly showered, her wet hair clinging to her face, which almost makes me walk to her and tuck those stray hairs behind her ear.
Almost.
Without any makeup on her face, she looks mesmerizing.
I had not looked at her properly during our wedding and in the room last night, so I noticed only now the innocent quality on her face.
And her eyes. Those deep pools of hazel orbs, made me stare at them, wanting to discover her secrets hidden in the depths of those pools.
She averts her gaze from me, and I come out of his reverie, gritting my teeth and feeling angry at myself for staring at her.
After what Myra did to me, I had vowed never to let any girl affect me in any way.
So, although Nandini is my wife in front of the world, she is no one to me. She is just a girl I brought into my life to take revenge on Myra and Raghav.
'Never again.' I decide, wanting to smack myself for getting distracted, and start to walk toward the bathroom.
But I stop when a question crosses his mind.
Looking at Nandini, who is now sitting in front of the dressing table and getting ready, I start speaking. "Won't you ask me why I married you when I do not want to accept you as my wife?"
Her silence has been pricking my conscience since last night.
Nandini has not said a word to me. She has not thrown any tantrums, not shouted at me, not berated me for ruining her life.
She seems to have silently accepted that I will never give her any rights of being my wife, and that has surprised me.
I had expected her to demand some answers from me as any other girl would have done.
"I wanted to ask you last night, but then I realized it does not matter anymore." I hear her say.
She does not even look at me while saying that. Her whole focus in on the mirror as she brushes her hair.
I frown, slightly baffled by her calm demeanor. I had expected tantrums, tears, and anger, not this calm and even nonchalant attitude.
But then, I just shrug, feeling relieved at not having to justify my actions. Not that I would have bothered to give her any reason, but still, it is relieving that I won’t have to bear the tantrums and tears.
So, nodding at her reply, I enter the bathroom to get ready for the day.