Maxi glowered at him through her teary vision. Riftan’s dark eyes blazed beneath his disheveled front locks, damp from the bombardment of snow earlier.
“What exactly do you want from me?” he said, his jaw tightening.
With one hand clutching the tree trunk behind her, Riftan leaned in until their noses were almost touching. She could feel his arm trembling ever so faintly.
“Do you want me to act as though you never left me, as though I was never abandoned? Like I haven’t lived the past three years in despair? Is that it? Do you truly think me capable of that?”
His broad shoulders heaved as he suppressed his flaring rage.
Losing the battle, he shouted bitterly, “How can you be so calm?! Why are you unaffected by any of this? Do you not see me barely holding myself together through this madness? Goddammit. Is that why you test my patience at every corner? Because you’re truly unaware of my torment?”
A thud resounded above her head as his gauntleted fist smashed against the tree.
“Do you have any idea how—”
Maxi recoiled as he clenched her forearm. Riftan promptly released her, looking deeply ashamed. After scrubbing his face as if scraping up the last of his patience, he backed away from her. She could see him trying to smother his emotions again.
Maxi latched onto his cloak. “S-Stop hiding! I truly hate it when you do that!”
His eyes desperately searched her face.
Tightening her grip so he could not escape, she cried, “Can you not simply talk to me?”
Her voice took on a desperate plea as she went on.
“Explain… s-so I can understand! Even if it’s resentment… I would r-rather… you tell me your true feelings. I hate… being ignored like this.”
Riftan’s lips quivered. He took in a ragged breath, and his next words seemed to tumble out.
“What do you want to hear from me? About how miserable I’ve been? How much I resented you and loathed myself? Is that what you wish to hear? You have no idea how much I—”
He stopped abruptly, his face flushing at the embarrassment of having revealed his inner thoughts. She watched as he stubbornly tried to withdraw again. At that moment, she realized the last three years had hardened the walls around his heart.
Riftan raked his hair back and gazed down at her, his eyes shining with resentment. “Did it have to be this way? Could we not have reunited by another means? I kept telling myself, when you came back, I would not speak things I’d regret. That I’d never again let you leave my side. And to make that possible… I…”
He trailed off, clutching his forehead. He glanced at the ground before looking back at Maxi.
“Why is it that you always push me to my limits?”
Maxi faltered when she saw the hurt in his eyes. Had he only expressed anger, she would have fought back. Against his pain, however, she was utterly powerless.
“Th-This is… not what I wanted either,” she managed to strangle out. “If I had known it would be this dangerous… I wouldn’t have agreed to join the expedition. I did not mean to drag you into such an arduous journey. I-I merely… wanted to leave the island as soon as possible…”
“I collected them all,” he went on. “Stones belong to the person who makes the kill.”
The sorcerer swept his gaze over the Temple Knights as if daring anyone to contest his claim. The knights continued putting away their weapons as if they had not heard.
Riftan led Maxi past, toward where Rem and Talon were tethered. Wolf carcasses littered the ground around them. As she glanced nervously over the creatures, Riftan hoisted her up and placed her in Rem’s saddle. She hastily called out as he turned to his steed.
“R-Riftan… what we were talking about earlier…”
“Later,” he said brusquely. “Now is not the time.”
Maxi’s face flushed bright red. It finally dawned on her what a sight it must have been earlier. Mortified, she glanced around before looking back at him with the most unbothered expression she could muster. She nodded. He mounted Talon right away, then swept his eyes over her as if to check how she was doing. Evidently satisfied, he turned around and trotted to Hebaron.
She saw Sir Hebaron snicker and playfully say something to him. Abashed, Maxi hurried Rem over to the mages. As her anxiety began to grow again, she glanced behind her shoulder at Riftan once more. He had been on the verge of opening up to her. It scared her how quickly he could freeze over.
It can’t be helped until we’re out of this.
She was silently reassuring herself while gnawing her lip when Anette approached on her horse.
“He didn’t admonish you physically, did he?” she said, her voice full of concern.
Eyes widening, Maxi furiously shook her head. “O-Of course not! R-Riftan would never do such a thing!”
“Good.”
Anette furrowed her brow and looked Maxi up and down. Terrified that her friend might guess what she and Riftan had been up to in the forest, she yanked her hood over her head. Her lips were still numb, and her breasts throbbed from unsated desire. These physical responses filled her with shame. Was she too lustful?
She was caught up in her embarrassment when she realized the mages were watching her. Quickly adjusting her expression, she mumbled an apology.
“Anyway… I-I am sorry for causing a scene earlier.”
“Well, it was bound to happen,” Anette chuckled, patting Maxi on the shoulder. “It was worth it if you got everything off your chest. Bottling up your feelings can cause illness, you know.”
Maxi responded with an awkward laugh. Just then, Miriam’s irritated voice interrupted them.
“If you’re finished with your stage play, then let us get on. I have no desire to make camp in monster territory.”
Feeling properly admonished, Maxi trotted to the rest of the party. When the Temple Knights finished purifying the monster carcasses, they promptly set out over the mountain.
She turned Riftan’s words over in her head as she rode through the wind, which was growing fiercer by the minute. Her decision to leave may have cut him deeper than she thought. She suddenly recalled the tragic story of his mother.
Riftan had sworn to himself he would never end up like her. Could it be that he still believed Maxi would drive him to the same fate as his mother? Staring silently at him from afar, she shook off her swirling thoughts.
Everything will be all right. He said we would talk again later.
They had much to discuss, so she had to be patient. The only thing that should be on her mind now was safely completing the task at hand.