Sophie POV:-
I went to the kitchen and leaned on the counter and began to let out deep breaths to calm myself. Amid heartbreaking truths and the labyrinth of the mystifying realities which never occured to me; another strangely beautiful emotion aroused in me which I am not ready to accept.
What I learned today was too much for me to bear, that's why I also didn't push him to tell me everything. But I don’t understand why Mother didn’t tell me, she should have told me. That’s why she tried to convince me to marry Christian but why can’t she tell me bluntly about it? Is there something more unbearable? Honestly,I don’t think anything would be more horror-stuck than being sold to some rich without being aware of it and this guy has known you ever since the beginning while you knew absolutely nothing about him.
Just how complicated our relationship is?
A feeling of abhor filled me, The bastard known as my father sold me to him. How dare he do this. I swear if we met ever again, I will kill him and Christian was just fulfilling his promise while pushing me away to love him that's why affictions were built between us. He promised his mother to marry me but he liked Merlin but when she cheated, he came to me. In a sense, I am not less than a second option- it broke my heart.
What about me?
I am just being used as a toy fulfil lust, treated as a second option unaware of her own self. Why me..? I never got to fulfill my dreams. First, bearing the burden of our home expenses and now having a loveless life.
I looked at my hands devoid. What am I? Do I have a life on my own? Can I feel? Is there anything good in my life? Mother who hides things from me, brother that thinks I am a Gold-Digger, Husband who doesn't love me? Why do I have to suffer this? Was my tears worth this pain?
But nothing will happen if I don't try to do anything. After Christian will tell me everything, I'll see what I can do. Whether I can bear the weight and continue from this point or perhaps I should leave everyone and live my life, away from them, away from the secrets… It all depends on the day where I’ll come to know everything.
I sighed but then I felt my cheeks heating up as my face flushed when I remembered what happened a few moments ago. My heart began to race as I began to pant. I put a hand over my chest to calm my racing heart. What happened to me? When did his touch felt.. calming? No! It can't be. It can never be!
But why?
Why did it feel good when his lips made contact with mine. These are the same lips that left me humiliated, how can I like this touch? His words echoed in my mind, stirring it.
"Please don't cry. Your cries hurt me. It's unbearable.."
I felt blood rushing to my cheeks as a blush crept upon them. What happened to me? Why did his words of in-depth fondness give me eerie satisfaction and solace?
I shook my head and After struggling for a while, I inhaled deeply, not wanting to think about it and left for the grocery shop.
"Ma'am, I'll drop you off." Josh offered but I refused and went on my own. Why do I need a driver just to go to a grocery shop? Emitting a deep heave, I brought some ice-cream for me and chocolates for him. A wide smile formed on my lips when I brought them.
Stop thinking like this!
I walked out as a person quickly went to me,
"Ma'am can you please hold this?" He said passing me a cigarette.
"No." I said with a frown.
"Please. My mother is nearby, she doesn't like me smoking." He pleaded.
"Then stop doing this for her. This act of yours can never please her." I advised.
"I am trying. Please hold this. Not for me but for my old mother. Please." He begged, I awkwardly took the cigarette and looked away, feeling disgusted by it's smell. He ate a few peppermints and ran away. But, after a few seconds he came with a smile,
"Actually, you are right. Throw this away, I'll try." I threw it away and passed him a smile.
"Thank you." He smiled and left. I stood nervously. What just happened?
It's hard to swallow that you can leave your addictions by some words of a stranger. I shrugged my shoulders and didn't think about it, he got it that it's injurious to health, nothing else matters.
I went home. My heart skipped a beat when I walked towards our room. How can I face him? No, He kissed me, he should be shy, why would I be?
With a deep breath, I formed a stoic face and walked inside, "I'm back." I said monotonously and sat beside him. He looked at me for a second and let out a sigh. How dare he?
"Sophie, when a stranger gives you something, you are not supposed to take it." He scolds me like I am a child. "What?" I was confused.
"Come here." He motioned me to come closer. He saw a picture of me holding a cigarette. My eyes widened in disbelief, my mouth gaped. Who took this picture and that guy, he did that on purpose? Christian looked at the pictures with slight anger,
"Christian, I didn't hold it on purpose. I don't smoke." I panicked, in that pic it seems like I am smoking. Why, When and how?
"Hey, calm down, I trust you. You haven't touched alcohol yet, how can you smoke?" He reassured me. And I calmed down.
"I didn't know you could panic. It must mean you care about what I think of you, right?" He said with a smirk, he was teasing but somewhere he was happy.
"I don't know.." I said looking somewhere else. He laughed a little, "Here's your chocolate." I handed him, trying to avoid any further conversation about it.
"Tell me. What actually happened?" He asked seriously out of the sudden. I was startled a bit but told him about what happened, it wasn't much of a deal, even if a pic of mine smoking was made. I don’t care.
"It's Merlin. She just wants to degrade you by spreading rumors. But, don't worry. I'll take care, nothing like this happens again." He smiled. "Why would she do it?" I asked timidly. What does she want from me?
"Who knows?" he said but I feel like somewhere in his heart he knows. He shrugged his shoulders and laid on the bed while putting his hand below his head, he looked so handsome like this. In fact, his every reflex made him look exquisite.
"Do.. you still love her?" I asked and instantly regretted it. I bit my lips looking away, a sudden fear took over me of hearing yes. I don't care then why I do?
He looked at me as I mumbled a 'sorry'. He didn't even expect me to say that.
"I loved her with all my heart. That's why when she cheated, my desire for love or loyalty shattered." He said sadly looking at the ceiling void. His sadness was felt by me. I felt a sudden knot in my heart.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I said looking away.
"It's alright. You must be intrigued." He laughed off. And I continued to look away.