My head hurt incredibly. I had a feeling he was about to explode. My eyes were closed. I didn't have the strength to open it. I heard the sound of a steady beeping. It was as regular as my heartbeat. I was lying on something comfortable, like a bed, that I could feel. Just like I could feel every limb in my body in pain.
After a while I managed to open my eyes. At first my vision was blurry, but then my eyes adjusted to the light. I recognized Thiago. He sat next to my bed and held my hand. He seemed to be asleep.
My gaze swept across the room. We were in a hospital. That also explained all the IVs on my body and the cardiac monitoring.
What just happened to me? I remember the evening. How I stood in front of the big hall with Thiago. He ran in and disappeared behind the door. Then I got dizzy. I had pain. My memories go no further.
I felt how exhausted I was. So I closed my eyes again and fell asleep.
The next time I woke up, I was awakened by loud voices. I kept my eyes closed for now. I could clearly recognize Thiago's voice and Andy's... ...they were arguing.
Andy: go now, get the hell out. I don't want your face to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up, it would only upset her unnecessarily and she needs rest .
Thiago: Quiet ? Then you go . i will stay . You can't get me out of here.
Andy: Oh yeah? We will see. I'm calling security now.
Thiago: Do that you idiot . Who do you think is paying for the room and the doctors right now ? This is a private hospital. If anyone gets kicked out , it's you. So you better shut up now .
Andy: you rich bastard . Are you threatening me? I'm Alea's best friend . I was there for her. Over and over again when you hurt her.
Thiago: see it as a threat yes. I will never leave this woman alone again . I love her. And the sooner you get that, the better.
Andy: tzzz that I'm not laughing. You love her ? You do n't even know what love is . Otherwise you would n't have treated her like this.
Thigao: Andy listen. Thank you for being there for her when she needed you. I really am . But from now on I'll be there for you. I will never leave her alone again.
Andy: ha, i'm not laughing...how do you know if she even wants you around anymore ?
Thiago: because she loves me. That's what she told me that evening.
Andy: and you? Wait let me guess, did you leave her alone outside ? god you piss me off so much It's your fault you understand . Everything is your fault .
Thiago: do you think I do n't know that ? just fuck off now
...then I heard quick footsteps and the opening of a door.
Andy: I'll be back tomorrow and I hope you leave me alone with her. I can't take your face anymore .
...then the door closed. I assume that I was now alone in the room with Thiago.
He regrets it. He just said he loved me. Never leave me alone again Did he really mean it that way or was it just his bad conscience that spoke out of him?
I slowly opened my eyes. Thiago was standing at the window with his back to me. He seemed to be thinking.
"Thiago?" I said barely audibly in a raspy voice. But he heard me. He immediately turned to me and looked at me in surprise.
"Alea?" He replied and seemed relieved. He immediately ran over to my bed and sat on the edge of my bed while gently taking my hand in his.
"How are you feeling? Shall I get a doctor?" I shook my head. no I don't need a doctor. i want to answer
"What happened?" I finally wanted to know and pulled my hand from his.
He seemed disappointed about that. However, I didn't care.
"Alea you passed out and hit your head on the hard stone floor. That's why you have a head laceration and a concussion. Also... You've also been diagnosed with malnutrition. Anorexia. It can cause dizziness, confusion, insomnia and sometimes even lead to cardiac arrest. Alea your heart stopped. They had to resuscitate you".
He explained to me in a shaky voice.
"I thought I lost you. That feeling when the doctor pronounced you dead. I prayed to God to give me one more chance to tell you how much I love you. I'm so sorry Alea. I was like this a total idiot".
I was silent for the time being, had to process what I said first. That was intense. I didn't know I was anorexic. Of course I've always been very petite and slim and in the last few weeks I've had absolutely no appetite and have hardly eaten anything. But that it was so bad. I just wasn't aware. It wasn't on purpose. A cardiac arrest? Oh my gosh.
"Alea say something please?" he pleaded.
"What happened after I was declared dead?" After all, I was alive now.
"They stopped the chest compressions. And I screamed. Your name over and over again. And just as they wanted to switch off the monitor, a heartbeat came from you. It was incredible," Thiago told me with a broken voice. It visibly took him away.
"Okay" I replied.
"Okay? ... nothing more?" he asked.
I ran my hand through my hair. I was incredibly weak. It took all my strength. I swallowed once and looked Thiago in the eye again: "Why are you here?" I asked him. My voice came across colder than expected.
"Why am I here?" He repeated my question with a frown. "Alea," he said softly, stroking my cheeks with his hand, "I'm here because I can't be without you for a second. I need you. The moment I thought I'd lost you forever, I died inside I was an idiot fooling myself I thought I wasn't capable of loving anyone I thought I couldn't give you what you want But damn Alea I love you like I've never loved anyone . You are everything to me. And even if you despise me and push me away from you. I will fight for you. As long as you give me another chance. Do you hear? I love you Alea Miles. More than anything."
The first tears that I tried to suppress already filled my eyes. How long have I wished he would say that to me. How long? And now he did. That I literally have to die first, that he finally had clarity, is really sad.
I was overwhelmed. I just didn't know what to answer. It was too much at once.
"Alea" finally whispered Thiago again. He came closer and kissed my forehead. Being so close to him, his smell, his closeness finally made me let my feelings out and the tears now made their way down my face.
"Please don't cry" he mumbled against my cheeks and wrapped his arms around my thin body. "I promise everything will be fine. I'm here now. Do you hear?"
I just nodded. I still couldn't get a word out of my mouth.
"I love you Alea".
END