In the main world, there are no conspiracy theories only the Hidden Leaf Village, operating on a mercenary system, traversing through the worlds of One Piece, Jujutsu Kaisen, Hunter x Hunter, Demon Slayer, and more.
Ninja Art: Brain Hosting Technique!
The Mississippi swells only today do I truly know myself.
To skip the long story short: the Hidden Leaf's infamous "F4," known for freeloading meals, abandoning comrades in duels, letting Naruto drink expired milk, squandering the Namikaze family estate, draining the Uchiha inheritance to fund a private Sarutobi ninja army and at the center of it all, the weakest Hokage in the village's history...
"I've been framed!!!"
Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage and supreme leader of the Hidden Leaf Village, jolted awake from his nightmare, drenched in sweat, breathless as if constricted by a python.
It took him several dozen seconds to calm down.
What a terrifying and bizarre dream.
In the dream, he had been surfing through an endless, timeless void, then found himself in a Hokage-themed forum, debating furiously for pages on end. In the end, red-faced and flushed with rage, he somehow managed to win the argument barely.
The emotional turbulence finally yanked him out of that surreal place.
Maybe it wasn't a dream at all.
Now a little calmer, Sarutobi Hiruzen began reflecting carefully on the strange experience.
In that bizarre, distorted space, he had become a conscious entity, bombarded by endless streams of information. Sound, images, videos, texts, even game simulations flooded into his mind, reshaping his thoughts as they engaged him.
It wasn't just his worldview that was rewritten he could feel that space's power bleeding into reality, reconstructing his aging body.
It's as if I've been reborn.
Hiruzen sighed again.
His white hair, liver spots, wrinkled skin, and hunched back he looked every bit the archetypal old man, dressed in loungewear, pipe in hand, as he stepped out of his bedroom and into the courtyard, settling down casually on the wooden floor.
He looked up at the starlit sky, slowly savoring the earthy aroma of tobacco.
At this moment, the sluggish mind of an elderly man began to thaw and stir how could it not, with such a deluge of information? It felt like the mighty Mississippi surging through a narrow village ditch.
The Land of Waves. The Akatsuki. The sins of this world. The Great Ninja Wars. The Ōtsutsuki Clan. Memories of yesteryear. A healthy Itachi. Jiraiya armed with intel. Hokage forums. Uchiha slam posts. The non-mainstream aesthetics of the new generation. The Eighth Hokage. Boruto fuel. New "S"-rank Susanoo Kakashi. And of course me, the Third Hokage, painted either as a fool, a villain, or both.
Seriously how did the strongest Hokage end up with such a pathetic arc?
I supposedly mastered every jutsu in the village, yet didn't even get a power boost during my final appearance? The First, Second, and Fourth Hokage all came back overpowered, but me? Reanimated as a wrinkly geezer?
Unbelievable. Kishimoto knows nothing about what makes a Hokage great!
Come to think of it, he ought to spend twenty years in the Leaf Prison learning the true Will of Fire from me, personally!
Hiruzen's thoughts quickened and branched out.
His mind spiraled into a flurry of youthful ideas.
Traditional ninjas are outdated. Winning isn't everything this world is hell. Dumplings are OP. Lightning tanks are legit. I swear if reanimated Nagato loses to reanimated Itachi, I'll eat my hat. The First Hokage is the most broken ninja ever. One Piece mobile games suck. The Burning Legion is invading. That cannon from the Hidden Cloud was kinda cool. Railgun's getting a fourth season. Turns out Jiraiya's writing isn't all that. Obito's grades were garbage they should extend the school system to at least high school. The Will of Fire needs better PR. Cultural victories count too. After all, the main cast is under my roof and honestly? They're not even that impressive...
Maybe I can actually do something.
His thoughts leapt from one idea to another, completely unbound by logic. His mind was like a monkey on caffeine, running wild.
Finally, Hiruzen came to a conclusion he could change history. The twilight years really are the time to shine.
If reality has turned into a story, then I must be the chosen one. No... not the chosen child the chosen old man. He chuckled to himself.
At that moment, he suddenly realized he could now stand up straight no more stooping from age. What a strange feeling, as if time itself were reversing in his body.
He closed his eyes, savoring his absurdly rejuvenated condition.
So strong! The last time I felt this much chakra was at least a decade ago. If I can't beat Orochimaru in this state, I'll eat my pipe.
In this condition, and as Hokage, he could really shift the tides.
Ding!
A flash of insight lit up in his mind.
Ah! I've got a brilliant idea!
To change the Leaf and the ninja world, I should start with the foundation education. With my teaching skills, why not establish a "Leaf Academy City"?
But first, there's something else I need to take care of.
Shimura Danzō. Leaf Village criminal. Fallen shinobi. The shadowy hand behind countless evils. The man behind all those forum posts dragging my name through the mud.
That corrupt shinobi must answer for the defamation of the kind and virtuous Third Hokage.
This is the Sarutobi clan's village not Shimura's. I am the Hokage!
"Ahem."
Swish! Two ANBU agents appeared, dropping to one knee.
One wore a fox mask Codename "Shin."
The other a monkey mask Codename "Kō."
They were elite ANBU directly under the Hokage, responsible for his security.
With renewed strength and commanding presence, Hiruzen gave them their orders.
"Kō, officially announce an all-Jōnin meeting for ten o'clock tomorrow morning. Have the secretary's office prepare a contingency plan for the Chūnin Exams in case of an attack I want it on my desk by five tomorrow afternoon."
"Shin, assemble two standard ANBU combat squads to be on standby here. Then inform Danzō that I want to see him in one hour."
"Yes, sir." The two responded in unison.
Trouble was brewing.
Their eyes met briefly, a chill running down their spines as they silently took their leave.
Once alone again, Hiruzen returned indoors. He donned his battle gear, draped the Hokage cloak over his shoulders, and placed the conical hat upon his head. He recalled all the relevant intel, reviewed his strategies, and summoned his true friend Enma the Monkey King.
Tonight, he would greet an old "friend" with whom he shared decades of false camaraderie:
Shimura Danzō, the fallen ninja.
A friendship that had lasted for decades was about to come to a dramatic end.
The year was 63 of the Hidden Leaf calendar.
The story of the shinobi world was just beginning. Team 7 was currently on a mission in the Land of Waves.
Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha were bickering again. Sakura Haruno complained about Naruto while casting dreamy glances at Sasuke.
Kakashi glanced casually at a suspicious puddle on the ground.
Just then, Naruto sneezed.
The wind had begun to blow.