Halfway to her room, the world started to shift. Doris gripped the wall as a wave of nausea fell upon her.
"Are you alright?" A nearby guard asked. He gripped her elbow and helped straighten her, but the world still felt slanted. It was as if her mind was tilted and nothing she could do would straighten it again.
"I... I need to sit..." Doris whispered. The guard helped her to a nearby bench and the moment she sat down, she vomited all over his shoes. His sound of disgust was far away to her ears. She didn't have enough strength to lift her head, he had to grip her shoulders to keep her from falling over.
"My lady, you need to get into bed-"
Doris threw up all over the man before he could finish his sentence. She leaned her head down against the cold stone on the bench and clenched on for dear life until the wave passed over.
When she opened her eyes, a frantic Beth was in front of her wiping her forehead with a wet cloth.
"Oh Doris! What happened?" Beth pushed her hair from her face. "Get her to her bed!"
The soft cushion that had felt so awful the night before, now was better than any sort of cloud the earth could offer. She sunk deep into the sheets and closed her eyes as the world tried to right itself again.
"I should go tell William-"
"Beth..." Doris shook her head but kept her eyes closed. "He has something bigger to worry about at the moment. Please, I'll be fine. I can already feel myself getting better."
The bed squeaked when Beth sat on the edge of it. Doris was afraid to open her eyes and feel the world shift all over again.
A cold, small hand pressed against her forehead. "You're a little warm, but not too bad. Are you sure you don't want me to call for him?"
"I'm sure. I just didn't sleep well last night."
"Doris, the guard told me you threw up all over his clothes twice. I don't think people throw up over one night of lost sleep." Beth moved the blankets up higher on Doris.
"It's probably a cold, I'll get over it. I was in the north for eternity, after all." Doris mumbled and tried to sink further into the bed. Her nausea was gone for the time being, but she knew if she got up it would return instantly.
"Get some rest. If you're not better when you wake, I'll go get him myself." Beth insisted before she left the room and closed the door quietly behind her. Doris almost laughed at the idea of a small Beth standing up to William. Though, he did need someone standing up to him once in a while.
A few hours later, Doris woke to a gloomy room. She couldn't have guessed what time of day it was, but at least it wasn't night time. Slowly, she forced herself to get up and change into warm clothes that Beth had left on the end of the bed. A warm, soft feeling bloomed for her caring friend.
Beth was dozing on the couch by the fire. Doris threw a warm blanket over her before she slipped out of her room and headed outside for some fresh air. She took it as a good sign that her nausea had subsided for the time being. She didn't think she would catch herself again if she felt the world shift.
"Are you sure it's wise for you to be outside after almost passing out this morning? William wouldn't like you out of bed." Cordelia hummed in her mind. Doris almost slipped in the snow when she heard her.
"A little warning would be nice." Doris mumbled. "You could growl a little before you just talk."
Cordelia laughed. "I'll take note of it for next time. Where do you think you're going?"
"I just wanted some air. I felt stuffy in that room." Doris trailed down a small path and kept looking behind her to make sure no one was following. William was right, they all had to watch their backs a little more than usual.
"You should seek out our mate and let him know you were sick." Cordelia suggested lightly. Doris sighed.
"I don't want to stress him out, he's planning a war." Doris seated herself on a rock a bit away from the palace. "I wish he wouldn't do this." Doris whispered.
"Why don't you want him to plan a war? He wants to take claim of the crown and it might be the only way to do it."
"I know that, I just... I don't want him to get hurt. I'm afraid that whatever happens won't end well for either side." Doris explained. "I feel this darkness inside me bloom whenever he talks about it. I'm...I'm terrified that he will end up killing his brother and have to live with that for the rest of his life."
"It's possible he could be the one killed as well." Cordelia said gently as if she was understanding Doris's fear. "That's the terrifying thing about caring for someone. One day you could wake up and they're gone."
"I want to support him and what he wants for himself but-I sometimes think he doesn't take a moment to consider the outcome." Doris said as she pulled her knees against her chest. "He always wanted his father to suffer, but now look at him. He would give anything to have his father well again. I know he claims he doesn't care for his brother, but deep down he must have a part of him that does."
"You can try to change his mind, but at the end of the day he only wants you by his side. He wants you there through it all." Cordelia said. "Even when he knows you don't want anything to do with a war, he still wants to know you'll be there at the end of the day."
"I'm not sure if that's so." Doris sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "He hates when I question him but-I can't help it. It's who I am to question things before I follow. Why can't he see that? All my life I was told what to do and beaten if I went against it. Now all my mind does is try to tell me to think first and stop going blindly."
"Life is full of questions, my love." Cordelia said gently. "There is no shame in making mistakes and wanting answers. It helps you learn and grow."
"I know but-I just feel so angry whenever someone tells me what to do now. Ever since you woke up inside me I just-I resent everyone that tries to tell me what to do. I want to go against them even when I know I shouldn't."
Cordelia laughed then, much to Doris's confusion. "That's part of evolving. You're taking from my emotions. Everyone has a different wolf inside them and some are more stubborn than others. It can be hard to ignore the rage that flames when people try to control you."
Doris wanted to lay in the snow and stare up at the gloomy sky, but she knew it would only make her wet and grumpy. Perhaps William's wolf was why he always was so grumpy in his life. She couldn't remember being this way before Cordelia.
"I used to answer to people without a question. I would feel guilty if I didn't do as they asked. Why do I only want to do the opposite now?"
"Because you're finally able to make your own choices and you resent the idea that someone is trying to make that choice for you. Even when it's the better choice." Cordelia hummed. "You'll learn to balance that out in time. It's good to make mistakes, it only makes you stronger."
Doris stood. "Perhaps the white wolf should have been assigned to someone else." She said bitterly.
"You think that all the answers should be easy to you just because you're a white wolf?" Cordelia laughed, more mockingly now. "A bird doesn't fall from the nest to fly after it's born. Every single wolf you have met took years before their true strength came. Fear, mistakes, stubbornness and rage all spoke for them before they learned how to be the wolf they are today. Do not sell yourself short just because you don't know your way yet."
"Then why won't you teach me something? I feel as though I'm uselessly fighting my emotions all day rather than being useful to anyone." Doris stomped through the snow.
"I thought you would never ask."
Doris fell to her knees the second she felt her wolf start to take control of her body.