It wasn't long after that day when we heard that Princess Mokomena had committed suicide.
We had all seen it coming so non of us where surprised. The palace was cleaned and cleansed of all wondering souls and that evening King Sepo came to my chamber in the Princess' quarters of Seke palace. He sat down and unfolded a silk cloth... reveling what my father had sent to him through Lobe.
" I think, I know now, why I was given this.I had thought it a mistake then but it's clear."
" Why do you think, he did?" I asked him.
" He wanted me to be sovereign King of Sekeletu Kingdom, He knew we would unite the three palaces but am afraid, I can't do what he wanted. It is Wina's birth right to be King here, no matter how greedy I was, I can't be that King."
" Talk to Wina first before you make the decision."
" I have something to tell you. but I waited until this war to tell you."
" It's okay, you can keep it, I don't want to know." he said averting his eyes. he started to rise so he can walk from me.
" Something tells me you already know." I chuckled holding him back.
" Zae" his voice was gentle, but I did not have to look at him to recognise his suppressed fury.
I sat back down.
" I am just so tired my King. In this life, I have no free will, only the freedom to do what I can, act as our gods dictate and face the consequences. Am so tired to even love my child. But that's a part of you I must protect with my life. How can I kill my child when I have served thousands from their death?"
My eyes where blurry from tears that run uncontrollable on my face. King Sepo sat down again almost falling, his blood boiling, with clenched fist.
I felt the sigh in his spirit. All the good things he had looked forward to had been accursed from his birth. He would live out his days haunted by the good little things, he had desired, that he had to get after so much pains, when others got them readily available to them.
I saw my husband break down in tears.
" I have fallen short of the gods' smiles upon my life."
" You are the greatest gift that my father King Yanga gave me."
my eyes stung and the now familiar tightness began in his chest. It was gone and passed to me. The intensity of the pain spreading across my chest. I clenched my teeth as my face contorted in pain. He tightly held me crying at the first hand horror of his pain in me seized him.
" There is no one to whom we can look when the gods themselves have abandoned us. We must accept this responsibility if we are to die in peace.
The pain eased and lay there in his arms."
" I knew, You where still pregnant, how can I not know? I slept with you everyday."
He held me to him even tighter.
" But Zae, how do I begin to be happy when am going to lose you... Is wishing I could have both of you so big a prayer request?"
I hated Nyambe for making my King cry, I had come to terms with my fate but he, my King hadn't. Nyambe was suddenly a cruel god, thriving in my pain and there was nothing I could do about it but hold my King tightly.
********
Early in the morning a maidservant came to call me to Prince Wina's chambers.
I walked there slowly purged by my own pains. I had dreaded looking at my brother after the war, and so I avoided him.
" So you have planned to take my throne with your husband?" He said as soon as he saw me in the room.
" What are you saying Wina, how is it my King's fault if father choose him to succeed him."
" Father did no such thing, he served me for this same purpose."Wina screamed.
" It is not my wish to get your throne, but I thought it wise to let you know."
" You are to leave Seke today, get your wife and your worriors out of my palace."
" I am your sister Wina," I said weakly.
King Sepo holding me for support.
" And you are his wife." He angrily answered. "I can't trust you."
The jealousy in my brother was too fierce for him to see reason. What I saw in my brother I will never tell, It pertains to the day Seke was attacked that day and why my father opted to give his throne to King Sepo. We have had too much blood shed to bring forth another war.
King Sepo and I left for Kele, together with the the gift my father had given him.
Wina will have to kill me to get them and he knew how that would end.
Letu and Kele become part of Kele under King Sepo because, he had won the war fair and square.
He had enthroned me Queen dispite the people not seeing the heir. I was eight months pregnant then. During my son's pregnancy, I was the happiest, spending time with my loved ones.
He had work only two hours a day and spent all day with me.
" You are really suffocating me, go make friends, I wish Lonki was still alive." I said carelessly.
" Yeah, I wish that too."
His thoughts far from Kele. To the battlefield in a war with the Letuyako.
Lonki taking an arrow for him.
I regret mentioning Lonki's name and spoiling the mood.
" He was a good friend" he finally said after seeing the regret in my eyes.
I thought about, how he will cope with me dead. Needless say, no one knows when we die, how we die and who dies first.
It's a mystery of the gods.
******
My labour pains started when King Sepo was in a meeting with the courtiers about trading with a new specie of people more lighter than us, with longer hair and felt themselves superior to us.
They were not
Our superiority came from the fact that we owned the land and nothing else.
The courtiers felt it was a good idea to trade with them but King Sepo felt it otherwise.
Namakau run to the audience hall and spoke with his aide, who passed the message to the King.
"My wife is in labour?" he asked outloud. His expression drawn. He quickly stood up from the chair and run to my quarters like a mad man, his courtiers on his heels.
He heard my screams from outside the door, afraid, I would die without saying anything to him like his father.
" My King, you can't."
Namakau told him.
" Says who?" he asked and pushed her to the side without looking at her.
He was there the whole time, I had told him about Kuku helping me have some time with my child but he was to agitated to believe those words.