I watched Adam closely. His gaze was still trained on the same spot for the last 5 minutes and I was growing worried. I mean, I was worried but I was going to dive into a panic attack if he doesn’t move soon.
A few hours ago, the hospital called Adam to inform him that Carla passed on. The news broke him. A lump was lodged in my throat ever since, I wanted to cry and grief with Adam but I knew I had to be strong for him. He needed a support and between the two of us, he was the one who lost his mother and I was the only one there that wasn’t sobbing their eyes out so I was currently comforting the whole Jones’ family.
Pio was seating on my lap, his head tucked under my chin and I could feel the tears dribble onto my shirt softly. I couldn’t bring myself to care though, the crying little boy was the only thing in my mind right now and I couldn’t be bothered about anything else than to be a line that this family could cling onto right now, no matter how thin.
Cali was on my other side, her small hands locked around my waist and her head on my chest while she buried her face into my shirt and sobbed loudly. I was still stroking her hair silently as she cried. My fingers were treading into her locks and smoothing them while my other hand was holding Pio’s small body close to mine. All the while, my lips were sealed shut while they were pressed against Pio’s forehead, trying to offer them some kind of comfort. Jerry was somewhere in the house, wanting to be left alone for a little while and Preston was in his room, with music blasting out of it.
I knew what he was trying to do since I used to do the same thing all the time after Bryant’s death. Turn the volume up so high to make sure that it would drown out your cries and prevent your sobs from soughting out anyone on the other side of the door.
Adam was sitting on the other end of the couch, not wanting to leave me alone to handle his younger siblings and yet needing some space. I didn’t want to drag him out of his thoughts so I didn’t bother calling him out on it. Even when the whole room was silent, with only the sobs and sniffles of the kids, my thoughts were racing and things kept on popping up. I hated feeling like this, so useless. Therefore, so I conjured up a to-do list. It was the only thing I could do and it consisted of all the dramas in my life.
Finally, after making up a mental list of all of my problems, I crossed out Penelope and fighting, dragging my conflict with Sonia all the way down to the bottom of the list. It was the least of my priorities and I couldn’t find it in me to care if some police officer barged into the house and arrest me this second.
I was too tired.
The thing that was on top of my list was surprisingly not Dom or Quentin or baldy, not even annoying old scowl-face.
The only thing I could actually think of and focus on was Carla’s last wish that she reminded me of that day in the hospital. I took the small wrinkled paper out of the pocket of my jacket and opened it slowly. It was a small piece of paper and inside was a series of number that didn’t make sense to me. Why would Carla want to give me this? What do these numbers even mean?
Nevertheless, I remembered what I promised her and my gaze flickered to an immobile Adam that was still staring straight ahead and into nothingness. My hand that was holding Pio reached out to him when I heard that the children’s cries have ceased into soft snores and breathing. I let my fingers graze his shoulder cautiously and when I saw that he remained motionless, I let my hand land on his shoulders and rub them softly.
“Adam,” I whispered softly. He turned to me, his eyes emotionless and the sight of those eyes being empty, that familiar gleam absent in them, made me wince. It was painful to watch him lose that shine in his eyes but the pain was worse when he wouldn’t even let me comfort him.
“Your mother gave me this a week before she passed, she told me to give it to you. She told me that you’ll know what to do with it,” I whispered softly, trying not to wake the little ones up and let them rest. They’ve shed enough tears.
In a flash, Adam had the paper in his hands and his eyes skimmed the numbers. He pursed his lips and helped me off the couch, shifting Cali onto his arms.
He motioned me to follow him with a jerk of his head, the piece of paper still tucked between his fingers while he held Cali’s frail body in his arms. I got off the couch slowly, trying not to wake Pio up, setting my hands under him and my other hand holding his head to my shoulder. We walked up the stairs and tucked the unconscious children into their bedrooms before walking down the hallway to a small room that was left unlocked.
Paintings with different themes were hung on the walls and Adam led me in deeper into the small room, taking a painting of a boat stuck in a storm in the middle of the open sea off the wall and settled it down carefully on the floor beside his feet.
“This was my mom’s studio. She had a passion for painting and used to spend majority of her time in here before she fell sick,” he croaked. He cleared his throat but didn’t bother saying anything else. It was the first words that he had said to me after finding out that his mother had passed and I wasn’t going to interrupt in case he wanted to sputter out another few words. It was a give or take and I’d take whatever I can if it meant having him talk to me again.
Behind the painting was a safe box inside a rectangular hole that seemed to be measured accordingly to the size of the box. Adam started pressing the numbers that were written on the paper to open up the box. I waited with my hands above my heart, trying to calm my breathing and assure myself that nothing was going to jump out of there and bite our heads off.
When the safe clicked open, Adam pulled the door wide open and inside laid papers; pictures, letters and more pictures. Each letter was addressed to different people with their names written on top of the envelope. Pictures were piled on the other side of the safe, pictures of Adam with his siblings when they were younger or recent pictures that they took before the sickness started affecting Carla.
Adam grabbed the pictures first, going through them and I could see that tears were gathering in his eyes. I didn’t want to intrude so I stood there awkwardly, letting him have his moment. His eyes scanned each and every one of them, drinking up the pictures and his mother is appearance in each of the pictures.
A lone tear escaped his eyes and he was quick to wipe it away. He took out the letters next, his eyes going through the names on them but they stopped on two of them.
I was about to look away, wanting to walk out of the room and leave him to it for a while but a hand that was offering me an envelope stopped me. My eyes, full with surprise, caught Adam’s. My fingers gently taking the plain white envelope from him.
Above it, my name was written in calligraphy. I stared at it for a moment before turning it and prying the letter open as carefully as I could. Inside, I found a small pendant and a folded paper. I took the pendant first, the emerald stone sat on the middle, catching the light from one of the bulbs on the ceiling. I dropped it inside the envelope again before taking out the folded paper next.
With a deep breath, I opened the letter and started reading through.
My dear Casey,
By the time you read this, I’m probably on my death bed. I’m sorry to leave you with my despaired family to deal with but I beg you to remember what you promised me.
In case you forgot, you promised me that you won’t leave them to fend for themselves during their time of grief. You promised me to be you and be the light in this dark moment.
I know that you’ve experienced the pain of losing someone dear to you so I beg you, dear child, help them; help me.
I hope that you realized that you are a part of our family the second that you stepped through that door. My son is head over heels for you, you’ve got him wrapped around your fingers and from what I saw; you don’t even know how deep his love is for you.
He cares for you, Cassandra, and I don’t mind because I know that you’re a great woman and that you will make a great mother someday. I see how my young ones are around you and how much you care about them. You will make a wonderful mother, I can feel it.
And I want to thank you for being there for my Adam right now and for the money you’ve slipped in my room to help pay the bills for my medications. You might not know it but I was never asleep when you would drop by and slip the money inside the room.
Thank you for helping us with the bills but I fear that it was too late for me. Thank you for trying, for extending my time with my children and husband.
The pendant, inside the envelope along with this letter, was something my grandmother gave to me as a child when I deliberately risked my life to save someone else’s. She told me that this was a recognition for my bravery that day because no one else was there to witness the incident.
I don’t know where you gained that much money but thank you. Maybe you risked your life in getting that money but then again, maybe you didn’t. Nevertheless, you did something that not all people would do and you deserve this pendant. I know it’s not much but I held it close to my heart ever since the day my grandmother gave it to me. I hope you will cherish it as much as I did.
Thank you Casey, I know you will keep your promise. Be patient with them, they aren’t the easiest family to deal with but they are good people. I wish you a happy life, may God be with you for the rest of your life and even after that.
Love,
Carla
Needless to say, tears escaped my eyes and I immediately took off the necklace I was wearing to slip in the pendant. The necklace didn’t have any pendant on it before the emerald stone and I only wore it because it used to be Bryant’s so it was a perfect way to keep the stone safe.
‘I will keep it close to my heart, Carla, I’ll cherish and treasure it, I will protect it with my life,’ I thought silently, caressing the beautiful green pendant; so small yet worth a million lives.